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Posted: 1/30/2011 8:38:00 PM EDT
Thank you StumbleUpon.com for this gem of a read. This is comedy gold well worth the 80 page read.


http://www.scribd.com/doc/33096/Bruiser-A-street-sweepers-tales

"
When I burned out of college in spring of 2006, I found myself needing cash in the wors tkind of way. I was flipping through the newspaper when I found an ad that read:"Sweeper Vac Driver needed. 3rd shift only"and gave subsequent contact info. I'm really great doing over night work and decided that I'd give it a shot. I arrive at the office, fill out an application, and before I walked out of the door I was given the job and told to report for training the following evening. So, I reported to the office the following evening... and had the weirdest/craziest/funniest 8 months of my life. I was hoping to share a story or two with you guys. If you like 'em, I've got TONS"

All WELL worth the read.
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 9:01:28 PM EDT
That was awesome!
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 9:03:27 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2011 9:05:24 PM EDT by www-glock19-com]
I reread that every few years , its quite old as the interweb goes

monster from the dumpster , knife wielding crackheads and 100mph flaming street sweeper from hell FTW
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 9:11:17 PM EDT
I'm laughing like an idiot here...
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 9:29:12 PM EDT
Read it a few years back...shame about the "girl"...
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 9:46:18 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Silence:
Read it a few years back...shame about the "girl"...


I just remembered the whole thing in a split second when you said this.


Link Posted: 1/30/2011 9:51:23 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 10:10:01 PM EDT
It's pretty worth it.
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 10:12:22 PM EDT
i remember that, good read.
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 10:19:23 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Silence:
Read it a few years back...shame about the "girl"...


This. I found a .pdf version of it once upon a time, I think someone on that forum put it together. If anyone wants it, IM me and I'll see if I can dig it up.
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 10:34:59 PM EDT
What reference to the girl do you guys mean? I stopped about 40 pages in.
Link Posted: 1/30/2011 11:25:41 PM EDT
Originally Posted By RifleCal30m1n00b:
Originally Posted By Silence:
Read it a few years back...shame about the "girl"...


This. I found a .pdf version of it once upon a time, I think someone on that forum put it together. If anyone wants it, IM me and I'll see if I can dig it up.


Found it. Good stuff.

Bruiser .pdf
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 12:45:47 AM EDT
In the OP's link, all pages after 3 are blank...even disabled NoScript and ctrl+F5'd the page. No idea what's up with that.

PDF version worked fine, thanks for the link.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 12:47:41 AM EDT
Pretty sure the folks on SA decided it was fake. Still entertaining though.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 12:58:14 AM EDT
There is no way that even 10% of that is true.

I still read it all.

Link Posted: 1/31/2011 1:01:48 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SenorTreinteOcho:
There is no way that even 10% of that is true.



nope, not a chance...

But the guy did a decent job of stringing along a sea story, err... street sweepers tale...

Link Posted: 1/31/2011 1:02:02 AM EDT
I read a few pages and it's seemed that he only talked about how big he was and how good he was at driving a sweeper truck
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 1:02:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SenorTreinteOcho:
There is no way that even 10% of that is true.

I still read it all.


Same as the Tucker Max stories...probably all bullshit, but still an interesting read.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 5:23:53 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2011 5:24:45 AM EDT by hardhit77]
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 5:26:06 AM EDT
When is this going to be on History Channel?
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 5:33:37 AM EDT
I found this a few years ago when I was working nights. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. I love his use of smileys.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 5:43:52 AM EDT
OP go look for the true porn clerk stories

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 6:47:58 AM EDT
True or not, that was awesome. Thanks for the laughs, OP!
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 6:58:08 AM EDT
SomethingAwful also once had a thread about a guy working for a rent-to-own place in Dayton, OH.

The unflattering things he said about Fairborn were spot-on.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 7:01:04 AM EDT
oh my gawd i'm on the raccoon story and i am already in tears this is the funniest shit ever.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 7:04:52 AM EDT
Wow, those are like 5+ years old right?

I remember reading those on my lunch breaks when I worked for the .gov and it hurt trying to stifle my laughter.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:38:17 AM EDT
Originally Posted By johnny_dot_exe:
In the OP's link, all pages after 3 are blank...even disabled NoScript and ctrl+F5'd the page. No idea what's up with that.

PDF version worked fine, thanks for the link.


Same thing happened here, thought something was up with my box maybe
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:40:29 AM EDT
Originally Posted By doggscube:
SomethingAwful also once had a thread about a guy working for a rent-to-own place in Dayton, OH.

The unflattering things he said about Fairborn were spot-on.


'sup, fellow goon.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 8:43:13 AM EDT
Tagged for later
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 9:04:38 AM EDT
I dont know about his stories being true or not but they are really good either way. I can tell you this though , When going garbage when I was younger we have some crazy and funny stories. We almost got fired and banned from the dump for popping a wheelie in a garbage truck.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 9:09:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By photokirk:
Originally Posted By doggscube:
SomethingAwful also once had a thread about a guy working for a rent-to-own place in Dayton, OH.

The unflattering things he said about Fairborn were spot-on.


'sup, fellow goon.

No, I'm not a goon.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 9:12:32 AM EDT
Tag for later.
Link Posted: 1/31/2011 9:39:05 AM EDT
Never seen or heard of this. On page 3 and it just keeps getting better. thanks
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