Of the choices you gave, the Springfield XDM 5.25 would be the way I went. I don't think there's enough of an advantage to any one of the major polymer guns (Glock, XD, M&P) to drive you to choose one over the others. If you like the feel of the XDM and shoot it well, get that one. And I'd get the longest sight radius I could, as there are folks who like to set nasty little steel targets for pistols. Longer radius helps with accuracy due to sight alignment. Lack of external safeties are a benefit for abandoning firearms, so the Glock/XDM/M&P have an advantage there.
9mm does seem to be the way most folks are going. It depends on the matches you shoot. My local club just switched from a major/minor scoring system on pistols to something similar to the IMA system. If the matches you're going to shoot score major/minor, a .40 MIGHT be beneficial. If they score with the "1 A/B or 2 on paper to neutralize", then 9mm is a big advantage due to capacity and reduction of recoil.
For shotguns, yes you should try to get an auto. It's possible to run a pump as fast as a guy shooting an autoloader, but it takes significant work to get there. The Mossberg 930 is a durable, reliable, proven semiauto that you'll be able to shoot for a long time. There are aftermarket accessories available, and guys who can modify it when you're ready to be a more "gamey" gun. One thing to consider with the 930 is that the Jerry Miculek version was just announced at Shot show. That may be under your $1000 number and come with a lot of the competition modifications already done to it.
One thing to keep in mind with the Mossbergs is that some of them come with barrel porting. In some venues, that will bump you into OPEN class against the race guns and AR's with multiple optics. There are ways to close those ports involving add-on barrel clamps - but it's something to be aware of when you're picking your gun.