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Posted: 5/25/2022 8:59:06 PM EDT
[#1]
What's his job and what was the issue?
(calling it now: this will turn into a "goddamn millenials don't wanna work" vs "boomers can't use teams" thread.) |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:00:09 PM EDT
[#2]
Damn, OP.
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:09:27 PM EDT
[#3]
Try running an outside (or inside) inmate work detail.
I had more than one who couldn’t figure out how to load the line in a weed eater head. I even went so far as to get a weed eater head that wasn’t self feeding, you just stuck a fresh string in each side as they wore down. Each morning, I would cut a piece of string the appropriate length and he would carry it in his shirt pocket to “measure” where to cut his replacements all day. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:10:31 PM EDT
[#4]
I should start a thread on micro managing supervisors who are dumbasses.
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:16:35 PM EDT
[#5]
Zach got a job due to his dad spending thousands in my department. He was a stoner who came to work high on one or more illegal substances every day…when he decided to show up at all. He’d come in late, ralph in the water fountain, then put in a shit job for a few hours and go home sick. Then he threw a handful of blood at a 4th key manager, and we just didn’t schedule him anymore.
Corey was just a dumbass. He wore his sisters jeans and didn’t follow commands. He didn’t last past Christmas. He later tried to get a job working for my brother at a restaurant. My brother wrote “My brother says he’s a space cadet” on the kids resume and left it for his boss. Joe had PTSD from being a janitor in the Air Force (I’m notifier kidding nor embellishing) and drank all night, would come in and do a shitty job of inventory which the rest of us would have to correct later. Annette refused to chart on her patients for 3 weeks. She didn’t get a 4th week. Amanda decided she didn’t want to chart on her patients and paid her coworker to chart for her. Beth made sex jokes in training, showed me her boudoir photos and asked if they could be put on her name badge, flunked her orientation tests, and was an all around terrible employee. Kelly was a director of a nursing home who let the patient families and her employees literally destroy the building and then. Pretty much every manager of people in the medical field is one kind of failure or another, IMO. That’s all I can think of for the moment. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:19:43 PM EDT
[#6]
My last company had to fire a guy for playing Halo at work after being told to stop multiple times. His excuse was “my wife won’t let me play at home, what do you expect me to do?”
This wasn’t some minimum wage job ether. He had a great salary with a Fantastic company with above standard pay and benefits. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:23:56 PM EDT
[#7]
My favorite.
Jake would change the channel on the store TVs and stand in the corner watching news with his headphones on. He’d do Christmas shopping on store computers. He quit for a better paying job as a receptionist at a vet clinic, and accidentally killed someone’s cat. Back to retain. He got a better paying job trenching for a construction company and got fired from a job digging ditches for digging them in the wrong place. Back to retail. Eventually he quit and moved away and is now a dentist. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:32:21 PM EDT
[#8]
I had to fire a guy after he told me he understood math, but when he had to add 1/2 + 1/4 he said it was six. He had no idea how to add fractions.z
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:33:46 PM EDT
[#9]
Bill (name changed to protect the dolt) stepped off of a ladder into a near full 5 gallon bucket of paint; then walked through the building to my office to tell me he had an accident tracking paint throughout the facility. A few weeks later, while moving a ladder he was working off of, left the 1 gallon paint bucket on top of the ladder which fell on his head. We helped him find another job.
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:37:56 PM EDT
[#10]
Had a new kid in the truck shop, he was real green, definitely had no life experience. Got him on the tool truck because he needed some of his own hand tools and eother wouldn't or could not figure out how to go to Sears and do it himself.
He picks out around a grand of stuff and the tool guy said no way at $25 a week. (Big credit low payments like that are reserved for guys that have bought tens of thousands over a decade, and the tool man knows he's getting that money 100 percent). Either cut back to $300 or half up front. He started crying. Full on crying. I think it was literally the first time he had been told "no" in his entire life. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:39:41 PM EDT
[#11]
we had a coach that i did not hire send out a merry christmas text that said "merry xmas slapdicks" to his freshmen kids
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:39:42 PM EDT
[#12]
We had a temp who could not tell time on an analog clock.
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:46:41 PM EDT
[#13]
If you look closely you can see my old coworker in a fireball.
 Jackass was there to replace one of the gas shutoff valves. He couldn't thread it on because of the lever handle hitting the wall. Instead of taking the handle off, decides to thread the valve on in the open position (without turning the gas off obviously). Dry chem fire suppression system activated, insurance involved, etc. Dumb. Ass.  |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:47:11 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: We had a temp who could not tell time on an analog clock. Sweet Jesus! |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 9:49:03 PM EDT
[#15]
I don't think I can handle typing all of the shithook stories . . .
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:03:15 PM EDT
[#16]
Had an employee file a formal complaint against a coworker. The complaint required investigation per policy. Investigation revealed he was the problem and he got fired. Whoops.
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:05:30 PM EDT
[#17]
We had a kid start an internship in our maintenance shop from the local community college. On day one we find out through his offering of the information that he had already finished college and had the degree in hand(industrial maintenance). We had a rupture disk blow on one of our pumps because someone closed the mainline ball valve and then dialed the incoming pressure all the way up on the material system and then opened the valve up full sail. Very simple item to change. Literally a plug and play type of deal. The kid didn’t know how to open the jaw on his adjustable wrench to get a bite on the bad disk to remove it. After showing him how to do this, I asked him if he had ever used an adjustable wrench before and he said no.
How the fuck do you go to school for a mechanically inclined trade like maintenance and never “had to use” an adjustable wrench?? 
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:08:15 PM EDT
[#18]
Foreign country..Absolutely great guy. No shitty job he won’t do. Can’t fire him. Can only sit back and watch the show.
We were demoing part of a dock being rebuilt. So my command was get another guy from the beach house and pop all the dock boards loose then pop the connections at the Seawall and the cut the stringers with a chainsaw so the dock builders can just start pulling the pilings out when they show up with the barge up on Monday. Be careful please. A few boards were newer ones and had ring shank SS nails holding them down. So he could not pry them up with the pinch bar. I said just cut those loose with the chain saw. He proceeds to bend over and cut the one he is standing on. Right out from under him. Goes head first into the canal with the chainsaw running full bore. Tags a nail sticking out. Slices his back and arm open. Destroys the chainsaw. Swims over to the ladder. Climbs out. Stands there soaking wet bleeding and laughing. Looks at me and says. You always tell me "if you are going to be dumb, ya better be tough". Ok..that’s enough dock work. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:13:55 PM EDT
[#19]
I had a guy openly selling drugs while working as a janitor for my company. He went as far as posting “420 available” with his phone number on the dining room tack board
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:17:51 PM EDT
[#20]
Have been working in corrections for close to 28 years now. If where I work is any indication of how the prisons are run in this country, you all should be very, very scared.
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:18:48 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What's his job and what was the issue? (calling it now: this will turn into a "goddamn millenials don't wanna work" vs "boomers can't use teams" thread.) “Boomers can’t use Teams”  I’m in tears
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:20:08 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I should start a thread on micro managing supervisors who are dumbasses. My boss is in the Grand Canyon for three weeks so I’m pretty chill lol |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:21:05 PM EDT
[#23]
I had a guy tell me he was going to be 20 minutes late because he ate a 50 piece chicken mcnugget, and then had to take a massive shit.
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:33:09 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I had a guy tell me he was going to be 20 minutes late because he ate a 50 piece chicken mcnugget, and then had to take a massive shit. Wrong thread.. That kind of dedication makes him upper management material. He definitely should have come in and pooped on company time |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:43:49 PM EDT
[#25]
Years ago I worked in a school and we were told we were being given drug tests so we all had to line up on our first day of inservice. One of my employees came to me and asked if he could go home because he pissed his pants waiting in line and couldn't hold it.
Poor guy, messed the whole front of his pants. I couldn't believe he did that but he was so freaked out about not missing the test he tried to hold it in line.
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:44:40 PM EDT
[#26]
Two 2x4s.
He held them together against his stomach. He then pointed the nail gun AT his stomach. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:51:08 PM EDT
[#27]
Came back from vacation to find one of my teams hired a new engineer.. was supposed to be some wiz kid.
His first day out of orientation I find him sitting at his desk with all the keys pulled off his keyboard. when I inquire as to why, he explains that he never learned to type and can only use the Dvorak layout. problem was the stupid fucker couldn't figure out how to put the keys back on. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 10:54:40 PM EDT
[#28]
I hired a kid fresh out of college with a masters, that had 2 paid internships under his belt, for a corporate analyst position. Hourly, but the top of our hourly scales.
Interviewed well. Was very knowledgeable in his field of study. Pleasant to be around. It just happened that the week following his first day, our primary software vendor had their annual User Conference and Training program in another city. I tell newbie that he is going with me to Houston for a week. We fly to Houston the night before and are staying in the hotel the conference is in. Little fuck does not show up for the group breakfast or the opening sessions in the morning. I start calling and cannot get him to answer his cell or room phone. At noon break, I call HPD to see if he has been in an accident or something. Nothing there. HE finally answers his cell with "What the fuck to you want?" about about 1:00. He went out to a strip club, maxed out his CC, and ended up somewhere passed out drunk and stoned. I changed his ticket to that afternoon and put him in the hotel shuttle back to the airport, and told him we would mail him is check. ...heard from him about 15 years later. He had decided Bill was his friend and wanted to make amends. FO |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:07:40 PM EDT
[#29]
I had to show a new guy how to fasten his seatbelt. Next day, I see him pulling out of the lot in the predawn rain, no headlights. Get his attention, now I have to teach him how to turn on headlights...
Two weeks later, same guy, truck stuck in someone's front yard, "how do I turn on four wheel drive?" "Out trucks aren't four wheel drive, that's why we don't leave pavement." "Oh, I thought all trucks and SUVs are four wheel drive." We had to fire one for peeing on the side of someone's house, in perfect view of the customers camera, and right outside the window that the customer was sitting by. There was a Portapotty next door... |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:08:56 PM EDT
[#30]
You get what you pay for lol.
But those dam kids… sure. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:10:46 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: We had a kid start an internship in our maintenance shop from the local community college. On day one we find out through his offering of the information that he had already finished college and had the degree in hand(industrial maintenance). We had a rupture disk blow on one of our pumps because someone closed the mainline ball valve and then dialed the incoming pressure all the way up on the material system and then opened the valve up full sail. Very simple item to change. Literally a plug and play type of deal. The kid didn’t know how to open the jaw on his adjustable wrench to get a bite on the bad disk to remove it. After showing him how to do this, I asked him if he had ever used an adjustable wrench before and he said no. How the fuck do you go to school for a mechanically inclined trade like maintenance and never “had to use” an adjustable wrench?? I’m sitting here reading this thinking ‘hell I don’t know how to change out a pump/valve/whatever either…’ and then I get to the wrench part. Damn. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:13:52 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: “Boomers can’t use Teams” I’m in tearsCan you hear me?...hear me Yes Ronald, however, there appears to be an echo. An echo?…echo…SSScccccRRRRRReeeeeee |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:24:00 PM EDT
[#33]
Back in the day, I had an airman who thought it would be a good idea to try giving himself a haircut. The next morning, he walked all the way through a MAJCOM HQ building for work looking like he'd been attacked by a chimp with a pair of scissors. I kicked his ass out the back door with another troop who had a set of clippers and sent them back to the barracks. Airman Dipshit came back with damned near a high and tight.
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:34:38 PM EDT
[#34]
Employee is off duty and attacks his supervisor at the job site.
Buh bye. Terminated. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:43:25 PM EDT
[#35]
I’m a stupid boss that was a stupid subordinate (still am)
It’s perspective and it’s personal. Sometime I can’t use logic and explain away why a decision doesn’t make sense I try to understand the point of view because there is always something I can learn even if I don’t make the popular decision. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:45:01 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m sitting here reading this thinking ‘hell I don’t know how to change out a pump/valve/whatever either…’ and then I get to the wrench part. Damn. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: We had a kid start an internship in our maintenance shop from the local community college. On day one we find out through his offering of the information that he had already finished college and had the degree in hand(industrial maintenance). We had a rupture disk blow on one of our pumps because someone closed the mainline ball valve and then dialed the incoming pressure all the way up on the material system and then opened the valve up full sail. Very simple item to change. Literally a plug and play type of deal. The kid didn’t know how to open the jaw on his adjustable wrench to get a bite on the bad disk to remove it. After showing him how to do this, I asked him if he had ever used an adjustable wrench before and he said no. How the fuck do you go to school for a mechanically inclined trade like maintenance and never “had to use” an adjustable wrench?? I’m sitting here reading this thinking ‘hell I don’t know how to change out a pump/valve/whatever either…’ and then I get to the wrench part. Damn. Yeah it was a doozy of a time trying to keep him going for four months for his internship. 24 years old. We have restricted areas where cellphone usage is a “fire on the spot” kind of offense and it was pure fucking rocket science for him to keep that damn thing in his pocket. Plus he would randomly disappear on us while working a breakdown and wouldn’t show back up for almost two hours at a time with no ability whatsoever to tell us why or where he went. We tried our best to not dislike him, but he made it very damn hard. |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:48:59 PM EDT
[#37]
I don't have that kind of time.
Good lord. Edit: I'm not perfect by a long shot, but some of these people... |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:57:37 PM EDT
[#38]
CEO at a former company forced around 30 leadership people into a 10 person conference room in March 2020 to “prove” to us that China virus was not airborne. He kept us in there for an hour or so (two people were visibly displaying cold symptoms). He lectured us about how “NASA doctors” that he had daily phone call briefings with assured him it was not airborne and could only be spread on surfaces.
The same clown shoes stated the company would NEVER GO VIRTUAL. Then a few weeks later our biggest client, Verizon basically told him he better go virtual. What do you know, we did lmao. He was/is a giant tool. ETA: also the biggest FUDD imaginable. One of my favorite quotes of his: “only FFLS can have full auto and they are kept under lock and key at the local ATF office.” |
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Posted: 5/25/2022 11:59:44 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: “Boomers can’t use Teams” I’m in tearsCorporate likes to run monthly meetings for our department. 150 locations in US. Used to use GoToMeeting. Admin had it set up so all joiners were auto-muted with camera off. Anyone with a question would type it n chat and he would read and answer it, no problem. The system worked well. We just changed to Teams. Most people figured out right quick that mics and cams were online and, in keeping with past behavior, turned them off. About a dozen of a certain age kept their cams on. A few kept their mics on and regaled us with paper shuffling and munching noises. |
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:00:12 AM EDT
[#40]
PM stops by the job to check progress, decides to poke around in a nearby control cabinet while I'm wiring another.
Him: Hey, what's this wire do? Me: Hey, Kim, be careful. That wire's hot. Him: Hey, what's this wire do? Me: Hey, Kim, be careful. That wire's hot! Him: Hmmm, as he touches a wire to ground and the whole building goes dark and the main City of Temple Terrace water treatment plant goes offline. Me: Hmmm, as I have to clear the short, safe the wire, reset the control breaker to clear the fault, and help the operators bring everything back up... Kim also missed an entire page on a proposal, resulting in leaving out L&M for everything at another treatment facility from the outer wall to the first junction goes in the field. I was wondering why we were "3 weeks behind" when we started. I later heard he was designing trash compactors. |
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:11:03 AM EDT
[#41]
Tiny was on the roof on a hot day with a can of neverseize. He looked like a 350 pound tinman
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:16:29 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I later heard he was designing trash compactors. Better than flying planeloads of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong! 
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:26:59 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: “Boomers can’t use Teams” I’m in tearsTeams was literally invented for Boomers. The rest of the world uses Zoom, like normal people. |
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:30:43 AM EDT
[#44]
I was given an accounting clerk transfer into my department my first week on the job. As asked her to provide me an account listing, if alpha order if possible. Half a day later she is still collating her spreadsheet. She did not know how to sort a column. Also, she did not know how to format a cell for currency. She was using the space bar to align the decimals.
After ordering an Excel skills test for my group, turns out 2 more clerks didn't know any of the functions available and only used the column to make things look neat. |
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:36:59 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My last company had to fire a guy for playing Halo at work after being told to stop multiple times. His excuse was “my wife won’t let me play at home, what do you expect me to do?” This wasn’t some minimum wage job ether. He had a great salary with a Fantastic company with above standard pay and benefits. Not to sidetrack but I’m just in awe of this, who marries someone so cold and twisted that as an adult they aren’t allowed to play a video game in their own home? Is it too much to hope that was just the guy’s excuse to play at work? Like if I wanted to play halo or any other game I can do it when I feel like it, the house wench will likely take notice and ask to join in. |
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:44:40 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: CEO at a former company forced around 30 leadership people into a 10 person conference room in March 2020 to “prove” to us that China virus was not airborne. He kept us in there for an hour or so (two people were visibly displaying cold symptoms). He lectured us about how “NASA doctors” that he had daily phone call briefings with assured him it was not airborne and could only be spread on surfaces. The same clown shoes stated the company would NEVER GO VIRTUAL. Then a few weeks later our biggest client, Verizon basically told him he better go virtual. What do you know, we did lmao. He was/is a giant tool. ETA: also the biggest FUDD imaginable. One of my favorite quotes of his: “only FFLS can have full auto and they are kept under lock and key at the local ATF office.” Sounds better than my last CEO, by far. |
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:48:13 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Not to sidetrack but I'm just in awe of this, who marries someone so cold and twisted that as an adult they aren't allowed to play a video game in their own home? Is it too much to hope that was just the guy's excuse to play at work? Like if I wanted to play halo or any other game I can do it when I feel like it, the house wench will likely take notice and ask to join in. |
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:49:55 AM EDT
[#48]
Dock foreman for a trucking company.
One morning in the winter I come in and one of the dock workers is checking what trailers had came in overnight. Now the company would only let us keep the heat set at about 50 so we tried to keep the doors closed as much as possible when it’s cold. About half the fucking doors are all the way up and he’s sliding another one up instead of closing them after he’s checked the loads. I grab the first one and pull it down while hollering why are all the doors up? He comes out of the trailer he’s in and starts cussing that he opened the doors. I’m already pulling the second one down hollering back that it’s fucking 10 degrees out and to shut the fucking doors unless he’s ducking g working in that trailer. At this point he’s screaming to stop pulling his fucking doors down as I’m slamming another one closed. About this time the dock manager steps out on the landing to his office and is like what the fuck is going on out here. Before I can say a word the dude starts screaming that he ain’t nobody’s n****r and nobodies gonna treat him like one. I threw my hands up and was like whoa!!! I never said anything even remotely like that. My boss was first like a. Yeah we don’t leave the fucking doors open when it’s fucking below freezing. B. He’s the fucking foreman so yeah you do gotta listen to him and C. Go on home for the day to cool off. He was fired before the end of the day. |
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Posted: 5/26/2022 12:57:36 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I was given an accounting clerk transfer into my department my first week on the job. As asked her to provide me an account listing, if alpha order if possible. Half a day later she is still collating her spreadsheet. She did not know how to sort a column. Also, she did not know how to format a cell for currency. She was using the space bar to align the decimals. After ordering an Excel skills test for my group, turns out 2 more clerks didn't know any of the functions available and only used the column to make things look neat. You'd be surprised the absolute lack of excel skills. I've worked in finance for a long time and people just don't know it. An accounting clerk may spend all their time in the accounting system and never need excel. |
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Posted: 5/26/2022 1:02:47 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: We had a temp who could not tell time on an analog clock. I knew a guy who wore a digital watch and couldnt read it. He would hold his watch up to whoever was near him and say what time is it? |
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