Same trucking company. Some drivers kid had been hired as a dock worker.
Kid would call in at least once a week.
Company picnic came up. Needed a couple dock workers still because we were a 7 day operation.
My son was still a baby and ai needed the money so I volunteered. The kid was voluntold to be at work.
About noon and this kids no showed-no called. My boss gets a call from the terminal manager.
Hey, was Dustin supposed to be at work today? Yeah, but he never showed up.
Oh, well he’s sitting on the owners boat right beside me.
Fired on the spot in front of everyone who was on the house boat. Awkward ride back to shore I heard.

My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.

I dated a girl that devolved into that, and married a woman that ended up being that way.

I no longer play, but IMHO its something that women don't like. Can't say I really blame them, only so much time in life to chase excellence.

We hired two subcontractors to assist in the initial equipment setup of two of our brand new ships being built. It's a two week crunch time affair and we typically work solid 14s or more until the job is done. No time to fuck around as we have to have everything up and running on a tight schedule for acceptance of the ship.

Found the first one asleep on the bridge of the ship, in the Captain's chair, snoring loudly enough that we could hear him coming up the ladder well. This was his third day on the job of a two week contract, and he had already started complaining about the long hours we were working, when he was warned before accepting the job that it would be like that. He was not in his assigned work area, was not answering his phone, and we had been looking for him for over an hour - he was not supposed to be anywhere near the bridge. He was not apologetic and told me that he was tired and needed to take a nap. I told him he could nap on the flight back home which he would be getting on the next morning. When I told him this he literally began to cry and beg for us to keep him on the job, but we were done with his slow work and bullshit attitude. We had also caught him fucking with switches and things he had no business touching (e.g. he wanted to turn on the radars and play with them), and had also insulted the Captain and Chief Mate when they overhead him saying in their presence "these guys aren't real sailors, this ship doesn't even have a sail" - yes it's a $250+ million dollar 800ft container ship, it does not have sails. Nevermind the fact that the Captain was an actual competitive sailor in his off time. Dumbass, HE GONE.

Second time, another subcontractor from the same company which was owned by a former employee of my boss. This guy shows up with no debit/credit card, no rental car of his own, only an envelope of cash given to him by his employer, reeks of stale BO, and immediately requests a ride to a laundromat because he didn't wash his clothes before he came.. He then ditched us on the first night out invite for dinner with the Captain and other senior crew, because he wanted to hook up with some purple haired Tinder fling. He does the same thing the next night too. Next morning he doesn't show up at the hotel parking lot when it's time to leave. Wait 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, no show, not answering his phone. I go to his room and knock on his door. No answer, I knock louder and louder. He finally answers the door in his underwear reeking of beer and barks at me, "what the fuck do you want?" and then his eyes open wide when he realizes who it is. I tell him to shower, get dressed, and be at the car in 5 minutes or he's gone. He came down and barely said a word, was clearly hung over, and worked like dog shit the rest of the day. Same thing as before - at the end of the day I used one of the famous lines from one of our Captains, "one question for you: aisle or window?" "Huh?" I gave that fucker an aisle seat. HE GONE.

I called my boss and told him I will never work with anyone from his former guys' company again, if he even thinks about sending one, he can do the job himself because I won't be there. In both cases the guys were obviously hurting for money, but had completely shit attitudes and personalities. Both guys in their 30s who should have known better, but clearly had better things to do than work.

One of our previous CEO’s had what I can only describe as a mental breakdown on a company-wide conference presentation. There were maybe 1300 employees listening as she went off on some crazy tangent, started cussing and then we all just listened awkwardly while she cried for about a full minute. Finally one of the VP’s stepped in and said we’d finish the rest of the briefing in an email format.

I watched an inmate weed eat for at least 30 minutes with no string in the trimmer head.

I would hate to be a supervisor at McDonald’s.

One of our better corporate customers asked us to hire his kid for the summer, before he left for college. Why he pawned the little retard off on us instead of his own company didn't make much sense. He was a good customer, so no problem. We didn't even interview him (not my decision).

He shows up on day one, and immediately starts talking about lifting. Kid is semi built for an 18 year old, figure that's his thing, no problem. He would do pushups when we had a few minutes of downtime.

A big part of his job was operating the pressure washer. He decided he had enough grip strength to "hold the water in the nozzle with his thumb". At least that's what he told me when I was driving him to med check after. He didn't come back after that.

A few days later my boss tells me his Dad called and apologized for his kid being retarded.

Ever watch a lock down inmate pod porter "shovel" with a broom to pretend to sweep so he can stand in front of his buddies cell front and BS when he's supposed to be cleaning?

I wonder how many of the rocket scientist on this forum can't drive a manual transmission??

My bet would be 50%

??????

Sales guy running an out of town install project left weed and a pipe on the patio table for the install crew to smoke.
They reported it to the boss, who fired the sales guy.

Sadly, employee law in Hillsborough county protects the fired employee the same way state law protects renters/squatters.

After months of fighting the overlords, mediators and the court, we had to pay him $5,000.  Complete bullshit.

How much time ya got ?

Current moron at work last week......

“I don’t know how to use an engineers scale .”

He’s supposedly been a survey crew chief for 12 years

I wasn't there, but there is story of one of our interns many moons ago who was left to troubleshoot a control panel that was popping fuses. When the tech returned to the intern, the intern said he was given a defective box of fuses.

Field hand shot the piston of a powder actuated fastener gun through the palm of his hand "I just wanted to see what it would do"

I’ve had a mechanical engineering intern who didn’t know what a needle nosed pliers was.  I didn’t fault them as this is really basic tools 101 that Dads need to teach their kids.  

In mfg I see the dumbest of the dumb.  Some stuff I see is so stupid it has to be intentional sabotage.  That’s the only explanation that offers a shred of logic and hope.  

I know straight sabotage in some instances.  I see random stops pressed occasionally…ok sometimes you bump an estop with your butt or something.  The one that really chaffs me is I get called out to a dead cell.  It simply doesn’t work and discover the PLC inside the electrical enclosure has been switched from RUN to STOP.  Some asshole somehow discovered that little trick knowing he can stop a cell anytime without breaking anything and buy himself a longer break while someone figures it out.

I know that feeling of sabotage very well. Some how the weirdest shit manages to tear up at the most awkward times like….20 minutes before the end of shift…..or 10 minutes before lunch break…etc.

Our group hires a guy who is going to school for computer programming and is some kind of a whiz. He's internal and came from inside sales. We are the QA team for an extensive network management software solution. His second day in the group he's managed to get into the source code, reads it, prints it, goes up to the two top guys running the Engineering group and loudly asks "Who wrote this SHIT!". Needless to say he was not long in the group and our Manager was doing some apologetic fancy footwork talking to the head of Engineering. When we heard what happened everyone in the group distanced themselves from him as much as possible. He also turned out to be very weird in a very short time and thought his software was "BORG" (from Star Trek) like qualities and was going to consume the world.

I have no such stories.

Sorry for those of you who do.

I took a chance and gave a job to a 30s something guy with a questionable work history. His second day he strolls in half an hour late, walking like he has all the time in the world and not dressed in uniform for his shift. The Assistant Manager asks him "why are you late?" The guy starts yelling a bunch of cuss words and says he does what he wants when he wants, nobody tells him what to do. I'm the business owner and I'm nearby and see the entire thing, I tell the guy to stop yelling, cussing and to step into the office to discuss the matter on private. He starts cussing and yelling at me. He left before the police arrived. I think drugs were involved in his behavior.

While dumb I say what 18 year old young buck doesn't make a few questionable decisions to test his strength, and prowess and ends up getting hurt a time or two.

I'd laugh at his dumb ass, remind him hydraulic force will fuck you up and get him back to work.

One production line uses a 2-part epoxy.  The material comes in large totes and pumped to the mfg cell with a mixing pump.  

On more than one occasion they’d run a tote empty.  The pump would cavitate and fault out.  They’d just continue to reset the pump every 30seconds all night long.  I come in and they are bitching the pump is malfunctioning…fix it!!  Yeah, they produced scrap all shift long.  Management is on my ass that ‘we have to do something to prevent that’.  Ummm…didn’t do any good that they ignored all the warnings and continued anyway.  There’s even a big flashing red warning light showing the tote was empty.  I was only half joking about shock collars for equipment alarms as this happens way too often than it should.

Slim.
Slim needed a 3/8" hole in a hard plastic, single gang, blank electrical wall plate. Slim grabbed the wall plate in one hand, and a drill with a 3/8" drill bit in the other. Slim proceeded to drill the hole in the plate. The plate shattered, and Slim drilled a 3/8" hole in his hand. TRUE STORY! Boss man did not fire Slim.
Boss man was angry that I refused to have Slim on my jobs where I needed an assistant...  A few weeks later, Slim went to lunch from a jobsite. Slim left several drills, ladders, extention cords, wire, and full tool bags unsecured at a jobsite. I arrived to drop off a tech to assist on the job. Slim returned a few minutes later to find that everything that was left at the job had been stolen. Boss man, still, did not fire Slim. A few months later, Slim ran off to Ohio to be with a hambeast he met on the internet.

ETA;Boss man had Slim on a payment plan to pay for the tools and equipment that were stolen from his jobsite.

My favorite was Walter. Walter was a slight feller with hair parted off to the side (I’m betting by his mother). He got the college degree in Fire Science, got himself hired for a job at a top tier suburban metro fire department. Then he proceeds to “know it all” during training. We get to his first really nasty meat grinder accident. Jeep cherokee is on it’s side. Patient #1’s (driver) head was stuck between the pavement and the top rail between the A & B post of the truck. Think zit being popped. She was DRT. Poor Walter found out then and there that he was not cut out for the fire service. I think he puked. I know he was not able to help us on the scene & when we got back, he went into the office with our Captain and then went home. Poor Walter never came back. I wonder what he tells people of his time as a fireman. I bet it’s a whopper of a tale.

bad as a janitor that didnt want to clean a nuclear sub?  that only cost us a few billion....

Stanley was hired as a laborer on our framing crew but I had to carry all the OSB to the roof. I was pissed about it because stanley was fucking around cleaning the site and smoking

I asked the boss what was up and he said to me never let stanley on the roof.

Turns out a previous builder popped by with beers for the crew before me and delivered them to the roof for my boss' guys. Stanely was the laborer back then and exclaimed he only drank Jack Daniels. The builder comes by again with beer and a bottle.

Stanley takes a huge swig, tipping the bottle straight vertical and falls off the roof. He grabbed every guy on the way down and pulls them with him. That gave him the roof exemption.

So... you stole Slim's tools out of spite?  

When I took over a new team I had one who would sleep the last hour of the day at his desk. The previous manager was never there that late so he had been doing this for who know how long. I immediately found project work for him to ensure he was being productive. He demanded a raise and eventually quite due to “unrealistic expectations”.

Engineer I worked with lost an eye due to diabetes. Came in one day wearing an eye patch and skirted my questions about the patch.  He completely ignored the diabetes.

The company gave him a credit card so he at lots and lots of fast food. He also stayed at work long hours doing pretty much nothing, but the company liked free work.  I thought he was stupid

Fast forward 1 year ago, at my new aerospace job, he come by to say hello, cringeworthy.  Turns out he left the other job because he was trying to take over the company, more cringe. Within a few months he left

This companies name is well known in the UA

Nope. Jobsite theft is common in the DFW metro area. Everything stays locked up. Everybody knows better than doing what Slim did.

We had a guy who never did his job.  He never came in on Monday and would blame it on his mother having Aids.  One day he had a bag of weed hanging out of his Starter Jacket pocket.  He blamed it on multiple other employees.  Then he said it could have been his girlfriend because she wore his jacket out the night before.  He then started fearing for his job and he went to a Christian Men's Breakfast that the owner of the company hosted (guy had tons of satanic shit on his social media and satanic tats under his shirt that were visible in social media).  He had very strange conversations with the people at the breakfast (obviously drug fueled).  That sealed his fate and I escorted him out of the building that day at witch time he threatened to come back and kill me.  His nickname was Pot Pocket.

I have a similar story. One plant I operated used flocculant to control feed density to a filter press. My crew came on rotation to complaints that the filter press product moisture levels had been way too high all week, a dead giveaway that feed density was low because of insufficient or no flocculant. I checked the flocculant tote immediately, the pump was off

Somehow neither of the crews on the opposite rotation, nor the senior supervisor, knew how to tell whether the pump was running. As far as we can tell, they ran it like that for four or five days and produced muddy crap the whole time. I caught them bullshitting reagent setting reports all the time too.

Lol zoom is garbage. Not that teams is much better.

I know tons of women gamers. My wife tries to play but just never grew up playing so she gets frustrated trying to play FPS with me. We'll pop up some mario kart or super mario party or something and have some fun though.

Back around 85 time frame we pulled into San Diego for several weeks to do some crew schooling and such. Had a couple of sailors (one was one of my troops) head down to TJ for some liberty. They got pretty drunk and on the return trip decided it would be cool to stack some rocks and a manhole cover on the Trolley tracks in an attempt to crash the thing. The trolley hits it and is damaged but is still functional. Fortunately no one was hurt. The two dipshits had watched the action from the trolley stop and board when it pulls in. Being drunk they are loud and start talking about how cool it was to watch. Fellow passengers hear and report it. Local LEO were waiting at the next stop and took them into custody. The Division Officer, Engineering Officer, XO and CO were itching to bring the hammer down but never got a chance. The Fed stepped in because of laws dealing sabotaging railroads and the USN decided to admin discharge the two dipshits. We never saw them again.

Close to the same time frame we had a personnelman get popped on a piss test. He had multiple offenses and was admin separated. Several months later our personnel office is barred from issuing ID cards. It's a real shit show with serious blow back affecting the CO, XO and Department Head. Turns out the doper had stolen a stack of blank ID cards and was caught pedaling them in the San Francisco area. The PNC and PN1 had been covering up the loss but it all came crashing down when the kid got arrested.

1.  You're probably not that excellent that a couple of video games are going to rob you of your world class achievements.

2.  Everybody has some form of recreation unless they're psychotic.

I can. I never will again, unless I need to drive a big truck for some reason. And even many of those are automatic now.

No point. Automatics are better in every way. Even better gas mileage now.

We must have worked for the same place.

I did high volume automation stuff for an automotive supplier. 3/4 of the work I did was finding ways to prevent the line workers from intentionally hurting themselves or breaking the machines so they could have a break.

They were on 7/12s for months on end because their shit was always broken.

Dan.
Dan worked in the homes of wealthy people installing audio video systems as an assistant to a lead technician (not me). One day the company gets a phone call from the house manager of one of these wealthy home owners. They claim Dan was outside the home the previous night peeping inside from a tree on the lot next door. The police were called, but whoever was out there was gone. Dan of course denied the claim. The client let it go, and said it was possibly someone else. Forward a few months. Middle of the day, the company gets a phone call from a home owner saying that the police have been called because Dan was caught looking through an HVAC ceiling vent into a bathroom from their attic where Dan was working. The homeowner had basically locked Dan in their attic at that point. We didn't see Dan again after that.

Autistic, I bet. So many programmers and engineers are. Just odd, odd people.

Of course he palmed him off on you. He didn't want the dumbass around messing up his own business. I would bet that had already been tried and found unpleasant.

I get why you fired him but I'd almost keep him around for the comedy.

I had an unarmed security gig about 25 years ago in a really shitty part of Detroit (and Detroit was MUCH worse back then) at a commercial laundry facility where the workers:

1. Would leave their workstations and sling crack on the sidewalk out front.

2. Would have dice games in the plant on the clock.

3. A group of fired employees waited in the parking lot and monkey stomped the General Manager into the hospital (that's when they hired us).

4. Kept liquor on their workstations just sitting out in the bottle.

5. The catering truck driver was a bookie and the truck would come by several times a day.


I have no idea why I took that job. Nobody messed with me but at my current age I wouldn't do it for any price. Not worth getting shot.

No kidding. Just pinch it off, get in the door, and duckwalk to the men's room.

During lockdown we had a Zoom meeting for a group of friends scattered around the country to catch up.

One guy was late because he had to get his 8 year old daughter to set  up his camera and log him on. She did great.

This sounds like a Butthole Surfers song.

Had one employee that thought his girlfriends weight gain and stomach pain was from bladder infection or something like that.  They got surprised when the baby started moving around.  Poor kid won't have a snowballs chance in hell in life with parents that fucking stupid.