I had an employee tell a supervisor that her tits looked really good in the shirt she was wearing, and then in that same day try to check out a coworkers dick in the bathroom and make out with him. That was a lot of sexual harassment in one day.

A few years ago right before Martin Luther King day that was a company holiday, this loud mouthed idiot said, "If James Earl Ray killed 4 more n*****s, we would of had the whole week off.

He was gone two weeks later due to this and other previous comments he made.  The idiot was missing the brain to mouth filter which is a career killer in this PC climate.

Why? She had already clocked out

20+ years ago, military guy of some sort worked for us who had been kicked out of the military for using his govt AMEX to gamble in Vegas.  I don't think he went to jail, but he lost his pension, I think.  This was a long time ago, and I was young, so don't know all the details.

One dbag I worked with after I got out of the Army got his hand caught in a one of those circular sandwich machines he was stealing from. That was funny.

Nope works great.

Had a coworker fall asleep during a meeting when the CEO and all the corp heads come to town. He was fucking snoring, not a big room full of people meeting, like 50-70 people. He was unemployed about 5 mins later.

My stepdad worked with a guy who bought a personal truck on the company credit card ($40k+), didn't get fired, they garnished his paycheck until they were caught up and took away the card. .gov job.

This has the makings of a great song.

A maintenance man at work who installed the out side video cameras  shot a nice buck. drug the deer to the road gutted it threw it in the back of his pick right in front of one of the cameras.  Then for Christmas that year he used the companies shipping department to ship Christmas presents to his brother in  Alaska.   He was gone by Valentine day the next year.   He was making over 100K a year, single and no debt.

To be fair, I was next to a major interstate last week with my pants down. Driving along, and somehow a gawd dam hornet got down my pants. Stung me on my right ass cheek three times before I could get rid of him.

Not coworkers, but I've had employees screw our clients. We work with intellectually disabled folks. Fortunately it's always been female employees and male clients. Vice versa would make the news.

We had a guy fired because he was caught sleeping on the shitter.

Another couple of geniuses on the night clean up crew tried to steal a 500 foot reel of solid copper wire out of the parking lot. They got caught because they had to drive through 6 inches of snow to get to it in their K5 Blazer. They drove the same truck to work Monday evening and management matched the tire tracks in the snow. The best part is, they never got the wire out of the parking lot, it weighed about 1000 lbs.

I've seen guys lose a job that tops out north of $150K by failing drug tests and breathalyzers.

We've got many dumbasses at my company.
One gal went to HR to make a sexual harassment charge against a middle mgr. It seems she'd been promoted several times over a rapid period of time, because she was fucking him. When it all came out, the mgrs BIL (who was a vp at the co.) told the wife, and she divorced him and took him to the cleaners. Then they fired him because he was harassing the girl for more sex after she got what she wanted. So the end result was that HR determined that the girl wasn't qualified for her position and fired her on the spot.

We also had a "lightly" managed area that had people coming in early. And another group that were coming in late. Supposedly because of all the work that needed to be done in one shift. After about 3 months of it security was tipped off to their scam. The early ones clocked everybody in and left at regular time, and the late ones would clock everybody out, and leave at regular time. They fired around 8 of them at that time, but I've heard of it happening a few more times since. It seems people never learn.

We had a person that was warned about her quality, get caught purposely covering up defective work. If we built little red wagons that's one thing, but these are airplanes.

worked at a bank, policy is not to write official checks for people that don't have an account. Lady goes ahead and accepts 10k from a stranger off of the street to write an official check. Stranger leaves with check, she figures out this is a problem as she can't balance her drawer, she was unable to process the transaction in her system after the person left because she can't do mandatory reporting for cash transaction of 10k, so she decides to just void the check. She then decides to open up an account in stranger's name and deposit the cash into it, and tries to get the manager on duty to sign off on the whole thing......

Punching a dead body in plain view of the public , stealing pills from patients, Speeding ,  Fucking a female doctor in the breakroom of the hospital, fucking a hooker in the back of the ambo ,mechanic  picking up hookers in the ambo , stealing medical supplies in support of a dog fighting ring, drag racing police car in ambo( didnt exactly get fired for this but multiple things) Fucking girlfriend in back of ambulance on hazmat standby and getting caught by state trooper.  

You are supposed to use the table in the basement.

(very few McDonalds have basements)  



Had a good guy, hard worker get fired after he accidentally slashed his hand on the production floor.  OSHA mandates a piss test when being treated for a work related injury.  Not high at work, but fired for his recreational use of the reefer.  Total bullshit.  Winning that war on drugs..................

D screwing bosses secretary in the bathroom at lunch break. both got canned

Warehouse guys were standing around talking when the temp girl (summer hire) walked past them.  New guy, 20 something year old) says loud enough for everyone for everyone to hear, including the girl, "Damn, I'd like to tap that ass!"

Well, temp girl was 16 and didn't like hearing that.  She told daddy.  Daddy is the VP of operations.  Dumb warehouse kid is called into the office and given his check and walking papers.


This was less than a week after we all had to sit through a mandatory sexual harassment class and signed a form saying we understood this was a zero tolerance issue.

 

Rumor is he offered to suck Hansen's dick if they would forget the whole thing.

I had some good examples but I came into the office earlier today and think someone topped them all, so I will let you know in a few weeks when the investigation is over.

Glad I was nowhere near this one!

When I was a manager at a Target store in the mid 90s we had a big problem with video game systems going missing. Asset protection was up my ass about it (being one of the electronics managers) and they knew it was an inside job. They suspected me and all of my people and it got to the point that none of us could take a piss without an AP holding our hand the whole time and giving us a courtesy shake. After a month or so of working in total Alcatraz lock down, they finally catch the thief... it was the jewelry department manager.

Turns out the jewelry department's lockup used the exact same key as the electronics lockup, and somehow nobody at the store knew this. So he was getting into the electronics lockup and making off with five or so Segas or Nintendos at a time. He would go there early in the morning before I or any other electronics people got to the store and take the systems and put them in a big bulk box, like for paper towels or paper plates that he got from the stock crew. He would then "check out" his "purchase" himself and take it out to his truck. The guy was a total sleeze but for some reason nobody expected this of him. I always wondered how he afforded a new truck and all the stuff he had on a Target department manager's salary.

When they nabbed him the police got him back in the main stock room at the back of the store, and the local cops perp walked him through the store in front of everybody during business hours. As I understood it at the time that was a no-no and I didn't know why they did that that way.

I did display work when I was younger. One of the department managers was a flamboyant type, he came to work with his hair bleached & was known as Goldie to everyone else in the store from that day forward. HR required employees to leave a voicemail when using sick time, & Goldie managed to leave his phone off the hook after calling out one morning. I never heard the message myself, but he got called into the store managers office the next day where they played the recording for him. To put things in perspective, our store manager was known as Grimmace. She was a disgusting morbidly obese beast who was supposed to be from the neighborhood & knew everyone, but always managed to get everyone's names wrong. So the guy Goldie was sleeping with asked something like what happens if work finds out he isn't sick & just wants to stay in bed all day, to which Goldie replied "that fat bitch... that fat bitch can KISS MY ASS." Apparently someone in HR was playing the tape for anyone who wanted to hear it, but I was too busy actually working to care.

Years later, I started working in IT. The senior vp of finance at my new employer got her recent college graduate daughter a job in the collections department. Her daughter decided it was a good idea to collect credit card numbers when she took payments, & got dragged out in cuffs for credit card fraud. I became friendly with one of the guys in collections & he told me she was buying lunch for the whole department on these cards, all kinds of online shopping, you name it. He also said a lot of the night shift folk were sharing STDs instead of making collections calls & they had to have a sit down with everyone in the department but I don't think anyone lost their job over it. There was an older guy who was asked to retire, he spent most of his days sleeping at his desk. He passed away a week after leaving the company.

There was one guy who worked in the call center that got kicked out of his apartment. He asked some of his coworkers if he could stay with them but no one would take him in, so he started living out of his cubicle. He had a giant duffle bag with all of his belongings under the desk, & at night he would hide in the bathroom until the office cleared out. They caught him when he set off a motion detector in the middle of the night going to the snack machine & the police responded. I remember seeing this guy buying drinks for all the girls at the company christmas party @ a week or two earlier, so I can't say I felt bad for him or his situation. He was fired for poor performance but I think they were just looking for an excuse to get him out of the building.

I've seen several people get fired.

I worked in a warehouse in college.  A dirty old man thought he was good buddies with the owner's son, so he started telling him about banging the receptionist (married w/ children) in one of the empty bays.  He assumed the guy would never tell his parents.

A truck driver for the same company also thought he could tell the owner's son about how fun it is to farm rich people's yards in the company truck and make it look like it was unavoidable.  He also assumed the guy would never tell his parents.

I watched two guys get in one hell of a fist fight because one of them kept taking the other's parking space in the morning.  One guy had been there longer, and said he finally got the spot that kept his truck out of the sun, but the new guy was getting there earlier.

I knew a guy at UPS that was busting open packages coming to pharmacies so he could steal the pills and make it look like an accident.  He actually didn't get fired because of the union, but he should have.

I had to work with a title company who had a girl committing some pretty clever embezzlement.  She would take closing statements where people consolidated credit cards or car payments in to their mortgages, and she would add $100 or so to each of the line items.  The buyers always blindly signed off on it, because it would look reasonable enough.  Then she would go in to the system, adjust each line item back to the appropriate amount, and add a line item for her personal credit card.  This went on for almost 5 years before a bank asked the right questions and made people look at her.  The worst part was, she was stealing from the buyers, not the company.

A former client of mine had a lady that had been there for over 20 years and had a lot of weight to push around.  She went to a conference where she was supposed to pay $25 cash for a table.  The conference called the CFO weeks later to ask for payment on the table, and he remembered giving her $25 out of the petty cash fund.  Turns out, she wanted to have a drink before the conference, and the bar she went to only accepted cash.  She forgot to tell anyone, and she could have easily taken care of it.  A lady that was damn near a millionaire got fired for seemingly stealing $25 to buy a drink.  It was owned by a group of investors, so it was out of the CFO's hands.  As stupid as the whole thing was, according to their agreements, she had to get fired.

A guy I used to work with bought a six pack on the way home from a job.  He decided to turn in the receipt for reimbursement, showing that he had purchased a six pack 30 minutes in to a 3 hour drive.  It's not hard to figure out that he was drinking and driving in a company rental and charging the client for it.

One of my old bosses got a call one day from one of his friends that owns a busy lunch spot downtown.  He asked my boss if everything was ok with work, because he noticed he was serving his employees a lot of alcohol in the afternoons.  They cleaned house that afternoon.

A client walked in one day looking for some papers that a receptionist wasn't familiar with.  The receptionist felt like it made her look stupid, so she wrote an email to every partner to inform them that they had put her in a bad position and she was not happy about it.  They fired her that week, which was her second week.  

One day at a client's office one of the girls was nowhere to be found.  We eventually found her in the break room.  She pulled two chairs up to the far side of the table and took a nap halfway under the table so no one would find her.  I'm a CPA.  Not that this is ever acceptable, but it certainly isn't acceptable for a CPA.

That being said, I once took a 30 minute nap in a client's bathroom because I was so hung over.  I was the most senior one on the job, so I just pretended like I had to take a huge shit.  Nobody ever knew the difference, and I didn't get fired.  They had really nice single restrooms with a leather bench in the corner that I used as a bed.

Had a guy haul a customers non running skid steer to the shop for repair. He didn't feel like towing it off the trailer.  He decided to use a telehandler and chain to pick it up off the trailer. The chain broke just as he was passing the skid steer over the truck. He totaled a company f-350 and a customers skid steer with one dumb ass stunt. The best part t was that his dad(condescending asshole)was the Forman and the service manager made his dad call the customer.

A guy hurt himself at a concert. Claimed it happened at work. His Facebook bragging led to an investigation, he was never where he said it happened, as proved by card swipes and 24/7 cameras.

Once upon a time , I worked selling luxury cars .  The owner of the dealership had a son that had just been released from prison for selling drugs and thought it would be a good idea to bring him on board.   Well this lazy piece of crap slouched around for about 2 weeks being spoon fed sales .  One day without asking he takes a new Lincoln , a top of the line model .  Bad thing was the punk never returned .

I quit soon after. I can't abide thieves or drug dealers . Or the people that coddle them.   To my knowledge the car was never recovered.  And sonny went back to prison .



gd

First year apprentice 35yo, a real space cadet.
Construction site had a random drug test one morning.
Dude tells my buddy "Hey man I was partying hard over the weekend, can you piss for me?"
Buddy lies and says "No, I'm hot too. Ask that guy over there in the white hat, he'll straighten you out"
Guy tells the white hat his problem and ask him to do him a solid and piss for him.
White hat was the corporate safety director.

Having sex in a special needs bathroom.

My cousin-in-law over the past 20 years was accepted on the NYPD but couldn't pass a drug test.
His Dad pulled some strings and got him on the Long Island railroad (Overpaid, Union job with full benefits).  He quit after 60 months or so.
Got on as a Rikers Corrections Officer but got fired after failing multiple drug tests.

3 great Union jobs with 20 year retirement packages.

Dumbfuck is unemployed to this day.  He looks like Homer Simpson wearing g a moo-moo and fat guy hat..

Tech would have been in trouble for accidentally hitting the entry gate at a field facility bending the post, but he got fired for ramming the post from the other direction to straighten it.

I was driving a dump truck hauling asphalt as a summer job during college in the 70's. Had a loudmouthed redneck driver co-worker. Headed down the four lane, a good looking blonde passed him in a convertible. He sped up to 80 to catch her and proceeds to "Hey Baby" her in the adjacent lane. She speeds up; He speeds up. Turns out she was the Asphalt Company's owner's wife.

Well they didn't need to go Number 1 or Number 2...
Sounds like they went to the right place

We had this fat slut that worked with us that literally had an ass bigger than a 52 quart cooler.

She used to waddle up and down the hall in the afternoons and give the married guys at my office blow jobs.

I myself am glad I've never been that desperate.

She got fired for ordering pallets of food with the company credit card and having it shipped to her house.

Worked in Meijer receiving.  Saw 2 guys go...

1.  Riding a forklift.  Drove it into the trailer to unload the pallets.  Raised the lift to get to the 2nd stacked pallet and put it through the top of the trailer.    Drug test due to the accident verified marijuana use. FIRED!

2.  Alex thought he was the hot-shit forklift guy.  Younger guy, Marcos, despised Alex and wanted to be the forklift guy for the day.  Pulled a boxcutter on Alex screaming, "I'll cut you, MAN!"  Bye, Marcos.



What a shit show it was there.  Worked there in a co-op program my senior year of high school.

Had a guy who worked a sales job flat out tell me that he was not going to sell anything anymore and was just going to "come to work." After a week of zero sales, he was told that he hd to go find somewhere else to "come to work"

Still unemployed last i heard.

I didn't see this but I had some dealings with the guy.  He was crooked as a snake fucking a dog's hind leg.

Well paid VP at a bank was supposed to be at a technical conference but was instead spectating at the 12th hole of a golf tournament.  He got a phone call from his boss asking where he was.  "Oh, I'm at the conference, just between sessions at the moment."  

"Well, I'm looking straight at you from across the green."

Can I play? This will encompass my office and our main office but here's the best two:

#1 Guy got caught on the show "To catch a predator". Seriously, that show. Drove up in his company truck too.

#2 Guy got caught hacking a .mill database while on the USS Enterprise.  Did it before he got hired, then one day he didn't show up to work. Then an email went out with the article and another article where he states exactly who his current employer is. You could literally here the HR paperwork being shuffled at lighting speeds processing his firing.

Worked with guy 20 years on Railroad and seemed like a good guy.

He went home one weekend and killed his wife and mother in law.

He is now on death row.

TruGreen went through a transition.  Changed their commission program from my first year into the second.  I knew it was bullshit because it was based on production actually producing the work.  Structured so guys get the sales in the early months and are promised commission, then production won't ramp up until summer when sales drop, but we'll let you keep your job since you're "in the black. Sorry, though, no commissions."  I was their top sales guy.  Went out for the first 6 weeks and sold my ass off to prove to the manager it wouldn't work.  I would've more than doubled my paycheck with the old structure...but on this structure...it was the weekly "salary" (really...a draw), and then wait for your monthly commissions.  Oh...would you look at that?  The only guy in the branch to receive commissions for that first month...and...it was $86 because production didn't produce everything, but you'll bankroll into next month!....Bahahahahahahaha.  I stopped selling.  2 months later, I still had a job...I could not get fired because I was so far into the black that I was technically still "free" for the company.  I quit on a Friday saying fuck this shit.  Come Monday, the rest of the top 3 sales guys were fired and would receive unemployment.  I still would have had another month free ride had I stayed.

An employee at one of the warehouses I was managing was hopped up on some kind of dope and took out an 8 inch water pipe (part of the fire control/sprinkler system) with the mast of triple height forklift.  Destroyed about $30k of merchandise along with a year old $28k forklift.  Sent immediately for a drug test never returned.

Its late on a week night, 8:30 or so and I was closing a deal on a new Explorer with a woman DADT Sr Chief...pretty straight forward had her own money from Navy Federal...just about to send her back into finance to complete the paperwork when one of the Finance Managers comes walking around with a Bill Clinton Mask on just funning around and has a cigar in his hand...walks over to my desk and expects laughter...he gets it...Customer laughs her ass off...her "partner" laughs her ass off...then I walk away for a minute and come back and she is LIVID...like Doctor Jekle and Mister Hyde livid...one minute she's laughing her ass off the next she is pissed at me and stomping out saying she has been sexually harassed...

Next day managers are spending all day in conference room, marching my ass in giving me a hard time like I was the one harassing her. I did not want to tell them about what happened but my job was on the line...so I went to the Finance manager and told him he needed to fess up...so he walks in and tells them what happened....this was a few months after Clinton left office and the Monica Lewinsky thing was still fresh in everyone's mind...He thought he was being funny...

He got fired on the spot, $150-200K a year job...I think he was Hired 10 minutes later by another dealership with a $20K signing bonus.

Later that evening I delivered her Explorer to her...FREE...DYKE NAVY SR CHIEF BITCH laughs and then gets a free Explorer out of us...

I worked for MWR(army Moral Welfare and Recreation) while in college. A fellow female MWR employee was taking MWR of the soldiers to another level and leaving me to cover the slack. Now I didn't really mind, but when she started bitching that I wasn't covering her lack of work well enough it became an issue.  I went off on her with all sorts of names about WHY I wasn't getting the totality of the work done; so I ended up with a sexual harassment complaint against me and about to be fired. Sitting in the HR office the bosses boss boss has the complaint in his hand and has had his secretary write it all up... turns out that someone who was in the chain of typing up my "your are fired" , AND the clerk that signed ppl into that building BOTH independently backed my version of events*(BTDT) prior to me getting there , and after some checking apparently my claiming that someone is sleeping with every soldier that walks through the door in the lockable sauna ISN'T actually sexual harassment if in fact it is true AND being done on government time. My harassment complaint was dropped, and a file was opened on her and she quit.

Guy working a 80K a year federal LEO job, got trespassed from the mall for sitting below the escalator and looking up women skirts. He went back to the mall and tried to badge his way out of the arrest...;

Guardsman not showing up for drill for months and having all sorts of excuses. Finally the unit tracked her down. turns out she was running a side business as an escort and the weekends were import for that business, admin discharge, with barred from reenlistment.

Stealing
Playing video games while thier work was lagging
Taking multiple naps on the can
Walking out when it was their turn for drug testing because they wouldn't pass

dock that man for sleeping on the job

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

A colleague murdered her young child.

Guy got.called into the.office for buying beer on company credit card. Left meeting, drove to a gas station and bought a six pack on company card.

Stealing cash ,  Armed robbery with his friends robbing him. stealing gas , 1 guy used the company gas card to fill his boat and signed my name to the receipt and spelled my name wrong , we called him in and had him sign my name spelled it the saw way and signatures matched , he was making about $60K a year plus bonuses in the 90's .