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Way to avoid my points completly....... |
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I missed your point...... |
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Yes, let's get back to our regularly scheduled OP link, which is damn hilarious. |
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OK, you are right. Let's throw God in jail for murder. I forswear all my prior religious beliefs, and now see the light. Everything I believed has crumbled to the ground and I never saw it coming. If only someone had told me that before, I may not have spent all my life duped by such a transparent farce! Thank you for showing me the light. I'll get right to work now studying my new religious text, The Origin Of Species. |
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When did I EVER say the origin of species was a religiou text??????? Its ironic that you compared ME to a toddler........Have you read your own posts???? |
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+1... in Hebrew and Greek And it doesn't say thou shalt not kill in Exodus 20:13 The Hebrew word used is XCR raw-tsakh' MURDER, UNJUST KILLING God can kill whatever God wants to kill. |
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thatta boy, completely understandable some of us just take longer to let go of the tooth fairy. |
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It's right here for everyone to read:
You obviously drew an immediate correlation between these two works. Sorry but your own posts betray you in this regard. |
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I thought the original link was hilarious!
Now, on to the serious turn this thread has taken... Evolution has been proven to be factual. Here's the proof. |
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A correlation.....afraid not. |
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I believe the original phrasing of that commandment is something like "You shouldn't murder people." Two differences there, you (not God) and murder (not kill). Also, they're commandments, not universal standards that also apply to the almighty. |
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Most of the Bible is a history book. One of the very interesting things about it is that it doesn’t portray the founders of Judaism as flawless moral characters. Rather it shows them to be very flawed people. This makes it read like a very realistic and impartial history, with the occasional miracle of the Lord thrown in. |
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So it really is "do as I say. not as I do"..... Thanks for clearing that up for me. |
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God was comparing the nation of Israel to a prostitute because of her idolitry. Idolitry = spiritual prostitution. |
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I can't remember offhand who it was who slew an entire city of people in revenge for raping his sister. King David was a murderer, adulturer, etc... Heck, Paul the Apostle was originally Saul of Tarsus, the chief of sinners. |
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Yeah, I write most of them myself. Your grasp of biblical theology is toddler like. The fact that you were totally unfamiliar with any of those stories in the Bible is proof of that. Then you started in on this "God is a hypocrite" nonsense, without bothering to educate yourself on what the Bible says. I am pretty confident that my grasp of The Origin Of Species is far more advanced than your understanding of the Bible. Don't let that stop you from jumping in and crapping all over a perfectly hilarious thread. I'm sorry for my part in it. I repent. Thread=hijacked While [this post ends] Set Thread=back to funny End |
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You missed the part about murder being unjust killing. God never killed anyone who didn't deserve it. No contradiction there. |
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God was comparing the nation of Israel to a prostitute because of her idolatry. Idolatry = spiritual prostitution. |
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Yeah, kind of like an adult telling a toddler not to touch the stove. Do as I say, and not as I do, indeed. Oh shit, My thread_happy program crashed! |
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That was hilarious!
The two pages of "wah the bible sucks" ... not so much |
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Yeah, but thats not a universal standard so it doesnt apply to me. It only applies to the toddler and not adults. |
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They were Jacob's sons IIRC. |
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True, but its still from the same God. The new testament has a few of its own verses, check my sig line. |
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There is a God and He made it all. On a sidenote: As far as the other posts in this thread just keep in mind this is GD |
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Well, this is a standard that applies only to humans. Not dogs, lions, birds, fish, or Gods. |
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Maybe your life would be simpler if God imposed his will on you and left you with no choices at all... A relationship with Him is voluntary, not mandatory. However, there are consequences in ignoring that relationship... |
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God did it then. Blame him. |
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Ill take my chances.... |
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Don't be so simple. That's no more contradictory than the society we live in where murder is illegal but capital punishment is legal. There's no contradiction there. |
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Remember, the Commandment from God is Thou shalt not murder, not I shall not murder. It's good to be King of Kings.... |
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We knew that was going to happen. What else did you expect from the religion haters on this site? |
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Killed 1000 people with a donkey jaw bone.
Maybe there was a mistranslation of the word "donkey jawbone" with the hebrew word for "minigun" |
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how do ya figure? there's not one SHREAD of actual PROOF to it. hense why it's called a THEORY and not a LAW. no one has yet been able to prove macro-evolution any more than anyone has managed to prove creation. they are BOTH beliefs (or theories, if you wish to use "scientific" terminology) and nothing more. |
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I seriously LOLed at that one! |
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I chuckled. He didn't mention other badass stuff, like Samsom still kicked ass after his eyes were gouged out, or when Jezebel got tossed off a balcony to her death and her carcass was eaten by wild dogs, or when Heber's wife killed Sisera by driving a tent pin through his head into the ground.... but I digress. |
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I'm not a Christian, so I'll blame you instead. |
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You dont know what a theory is do you? A theory is a group of FACTS. The theory brings it together. You cant have a theory without fact. As for the proof of evolution.....well, I could sit here and type for hours but that would suck. Oh, and if you want proof of macro-evolution you only have to look as far as your own DNA. |
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"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces."
As partially bald guy with no kids, I think this is probably the most important verse in the Bible and hence has my full endorsement. Smarty pants little bastages. Mess with the bald bull, get the horns. |
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Thats cool.......... |
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yet it cannot be proven with 100% certainty. it's still a case of "it's probably," not "it is." yet you state it as if evolution is a natual law...
ok....and what, pray tell, am i looking for? genes in common with an ape? or genes in common with a chicken? since by that reasoning and the last I heard, humans are closer related to chickens than to apes. and if evolution is all about survival of the fittest and genetic mutations, then why the hell is it that there are still apes (or whatever we're supposedly closest related to) on this earth? you'd think by now that humans -- being more "fit" -- would have fully supplanted apes. and why are ALL genetic mutations these days (other than viral) discovered to be detrimental instead of beneficial? |
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Wow, the Bible looks like good reading!
"Gaze upon our dick tower and despair." That line made me LOL |
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Red- Not even close. We are MUCH MUCH closely related to Apes. In fact, we ARE apes. Blue- The apes on this earth NOW, are not our ancestors. Its easier to think of them as our brothers. We did not evolve from the apes present today. We evolved from Homo erectus which there are plenty of fossils for. yellow- Thats not true. Think of sickel cell anemia. For a larger answer you need to look at different races of humans. Different races are less suceptable to different things...like cancer for instance because of genetic mutation. |
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Hoody, since you have never read the bible, you wouldn't know that it's actually NOT an answer to the origin of the species. Much of the Old Testament is figurative speech, which I believe to be the case because there was no common language or conceptual abstraction that would permit documentation of such ideas with an advanced mathematical, chemical, or physics-related taxonomy... such that we take for granted in 2007. What the bible IS, would be a twofold answer: 1) a roadmap documenting the prophecy leading to, and the events surrounding the birth, life and death of Jesus, that demonstrate his truly being the Messiah and 2) the message of redemption and salvation that Jesus brings to the human race. The rest is doctrinal, denominational conjecture that has been contrived by men over the generations. |
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WHY are you here, shitting in this thread? If you want to debate evolution, can you not start a different thread? This is a thread about a guy writing a humorous take on particular bible verses. It has NOTHING to do with any larger debate. You brought up up Darwin, for NO APPARENT REASON - and now continue to argue with people about briging up Darwin for NO APPARENT REASON, and now you seem to want to derail the thread - and again, your reason for doing so escapes me. Will you please just stop if I ask nicely? Please? |
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