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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - The Bible is Bad A _ _ ! Don't read if you don't have a sense of humor! (Page 2 of 3)

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:16:53 AM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:

Quoted:
No. Have you ever read, "The Origin of Species"?

you're a fool if you think Origin of Species is as or more influential on our culture (and therefore required reading) than the Bible. Darwin has his place, but the two aren't even in the same league influence-wise.

You think the bible is required reading?????

Yes, if you're going to debate any topic about it with any modicum of credibility or shred of intelligence.

Sigh.....The more I learn about the bible the more contradictory I see it is. Take this thread for example. You cant kill......but god can. God knows everything......except that the first civilization he created was screwed up and full of non-belivers and he had to redo it (the flood).

Are you one of those people who get endlessly fascinated watching a ceiling fan? Your postings indicate a toddler like grasp of the subject. If you are happy that way, then fine.

Way to avoid my points completly.......

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:17:03 AM EDT

[#2]

wow.

IS this turning into another fucking evolution debate?

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:17:37 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Evolution is real wether god created its process or not. Its scientific observation. Has NOTHING to do with religion.

an amoeba doesn't just 'figure things out' ya know

I missed your point......

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:19:28 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
wow.

IS this turning into another fucking evolution debate?

Yes, let's get back to our regularly scheduled OP link, which is damn hilarious.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:19:43 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:

Quoted:
That link is good stuff

Quoted:

Thou shall not Kill??????

Are the ten commandments not directly from god?

The correct translation is "Thou shalt not murder" which is certainly different than just general killing (like in self-defense)

eta: crap, too slow, 1911greg addressed it already

OK.

So was what Moses did not murder? Same with god "murdering" people????

OK, you are right. Let's throw God in jail for murder. I forswear all my prior religious beliefs, and now see the light. Everything I believed has crumbled to the ground and I never saw it coming. If only someone had told me that before, I may not have spent all my life duped by such a transparent farce!

Thank you for showing me the light. I'll get right to work now studying my new religious text, The Origin Of Species.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:21:12 AM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:

OK, you are right. Let's throw God in jail for murder. I forswear all my prior religious beliefs, and now see the light. Everything I believed has crumbled to the ground and I never saw it coming. If only someone had told me that before, I may not have spent all my life duped by such a transparent farce!

Thank you for showing me the light. I'll get right to work now studying my new religious text, The Origin Of Species.

When did I EVER say the origin of species was a religiou text???????

Its ironic that you compared ME to a toddler........Have you read your own posts????

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:21:21 AM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Are those the "real" versus from the bible???

Yes.

Moses killed people.....but, but, I thought that was a sin????

Ahhh, the simpleminded interpretations of an unbeliever...

You do know that Moses got sent into exile for that don't you? After that, God killed the rest.

Ah, the simple, "Do as I say, not as I do."

No, I didnt know Moses got sent into exile for this incident. I do know that god says to not kill, then does it himself.

God does not say "Do not kill". If you don't want to believe what God says, fine. I always find it funny when people like you try to tell me what God said, as if you were an expert or something.

To be fair, you dont know any more then I do what god said.

Well, to be MORE fair, I actually have cracked open a Bible and read it.

+1... in Hebrew and Greek

And it doesn't say thou shalt not kill in Exodus 20:13

The Hebrew word used is XCR raw-tsakh' MURDER, UNJUST KILLING

God can kill whatever God wants to kill.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:21:28 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:

OK, you are right. Let's throw God in jail for murder. I forswear all my prior religious beliefs, and now see the light. Everything I believed has crumbled to the ground and I never saw it coming. If only someone had told me that before, I may not have spent all my life duped by such a transparent farce!

Thank you for showing me the light. I'll get right to work now studying my new religious text, The Origin Of Species.

thatta boy, completely understandable some of us just take longer to let go of the tooth fairy.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:22:41 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I think Darwin was a believer.

I think he died one, and I think that is something the left NEVER wants you to know...

IIRC.

Even if he was, what does that matter????

Evolution is real wether god created its process or not. Its scientific observation. Has NOTHING to do with religion.

Then why are you comparing it to the Bible?

Show me where I COMPARED it to the bible. I just asked if you read it....

It's right here for everyone to read:

Quoted:

Quoted:
Are those the "real" versus from the bible???

Yes. Haven't you ever read it?

No. Have you ever read, "The Origin of Species"?

You obviously drew an immediate correlation between these two works. Sorry but your own posts betray you in this regard.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:22:44 AM EDT

[#10]

I thought the original link was hilarious!

Now, on to the serious turn this thread has taken...

Evolution has been proven to be factual. Here's the proof.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:22:45 AM EDT

[#11]

Damn. Double tap.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:24:13 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I think Darwin was a believer.

I think he died one, and I think that is something the left NEVER wants you to know...

IIRC.

Even if he was, what does that matter????

Evolution is real wether god created its process or not. Its scientific observation. Has NOTHING to do with religion.

Then why are you comparing it to the Bible?

Show me where I COMPARED it to the bible. I just asked if you read it....

It's right here for everyone to read:

Quoted:

Quoted:
Are those the "real" versus from the bible???

Yes. Haven't you ever read it?

No. Have you ever read, "The Origin of Species"?

You obviously drew an immediate correlation between these two works. Sorry but your own posts betray you in this regard.

A correlation.....afraid not.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:24:32 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
I do know that god says to not kill, then does it himself.

I believe the original phrasing of that commandment is something like "You shouldn't murder people."

Two differences there, you (not God) and murder (not kill). Also, they're commandments, not universal standards that also apply to the almighty.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:24:39 AM EDT

[#14]

I laughed out loud at the Samson and David part.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:25:02 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Are those the "real" versus from the bible???

Yes.

Moses killed people.....but, but, I thought that was a sin????

Most of the Bible is a history book. One of the very interesting things about it is that it doesn’t portray the founders of Judaism as flawless moral characters. Rather it shows them to be very flawed people.

This makes it read like a very realistic and impartial history, with the occasional miracle of the Lord thrown in.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:27:44 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I do know that god says to not kill, then does it himself.

I believe the original phrasing of that commandment is something like "You shouldn't murder people."

Two differences there, you (not God) and murder (not kill). Also, they're commandments, not universal standards that also apply to the almighty.

So it really is "do as I say. not as I do"..... Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:28:38 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
whats the context behind the prostitute who was recalling about her "work"

God was comparing the nation of Israel to a prostitute because of her idolitry. Idolitry = spiritual prostitution.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:29:01 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Are those the "real" versus from the bible???

Yes.

Moses killed people.....but, but, I thought that was a sin????

Most of the Bible is a history book. One of the very interesting things about it is that it doesn’t portray the founders of Judaism as flawless moral characters. Rather it shows them to be very flawed people.

This makes it read like a very realistic and impartial history, with the occasional miracle of the Lord thrown in.

I can't remember offhand who it was who slew an entire city of people in revenge for raping his sister.

King David was a murderer, adulturer, etc...

Heck, Paul the Apostle was originally Saul of Tarsus, the chief of sinners.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:29:35 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Quoted:

OK, you are right. Let's throw God in jail for murder. I forswear all my prior religious beliefs, and now see the light. Everything I believed has crumbled to the ground and I never saw it coming. If only someone had told me that before, I may not have spent all my life duped by such a transparent farce!

Thank you for showing me the light. I'll get right to work now studying my new religious text, The Origin Of Species.

When did I EVER say the origin of species was a religiou text???????

Its ironic that you compared ME to a toddler........Have you read your own posts????

Yeah, I write most of them myself.

Your grasp of biblical theology is toddler like. The fact that you were totally unfamiliar with any of those stories in the Bible is proof of that. Then you started in on this "God is a hypocrite" nonsense, without bothering to educate yourself on what the Bible says.

I am pretty confident that my grasp of The Origin Of Species is far more advanced than your understanding of the Bible. Don't let that stop you from jumping in and crapping all over a perfectly hilarious thread.

I'm sorry for my part in it. I repent.

Thread=hijacked

While [this post ends]

Set Thread=back to funny

End

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:29:49 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I do know that god says to not kill, then does it himself.

I believe the original phrasing of that commandment is something like "You shouldn't murder people."

Two differences there, you (not God) and murder (not kill). Also, they're commandments, not universal standards that also apply to the almighty.

So it really is "do as I say. not as I do"..... Thanks for clearing that up for me.

You missed the part about murder being unjust killing. God never killed anyone who didn't deserve it. No contradiction there.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:30:00 AM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
whats the context behind the prostitute who was recalling about her "work"

God was comparing the nation of Israel to a prostitute because of her idolatry. Idolatry = spiritual prostitution.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:30:57 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I do know that god says to not kill, then does it himself.

I believe the original phrasing of that commandment is something like "You shouldn't murder people."

Two differences there, you (not God) and murder (not kill). Also, they're commandments, not universal standards that also apply to the almighty.

So it really is "do as I say. not as I do"..... Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Yeah, kind of like an adult telling a toddler not to touch the stove.

Do as I say, and not as I do, indeed.

Oh shit, My thread_happy program crashed!

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:32:47 AM EDT

[#23]

That was hilarious!

The two pages of "wah the bible sucks" ... not so much

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:33:03 AM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I do know that god says to not kill, then does it himself.

I believe the original phrasing of that commandment is something like "You shouldn't murder people."

Two differences there, you (not God) and murder (not kill). Also, they're commandments, not universal standards that also apply to the almighty.

So it really is "do as I say. not as I do"..... Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Yeah, kind of like an adult telling a toddler not to touch the stove.

Do as I say, and not as I do, indeed.

Oh shit, My thread_happy program crashed!

Yeah, but thats not a universal standard so it doesnt apply to me. It only applies to the toddler and not adults.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:33:34 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
I can't remember offhand who it was who slew an entire city of people in revenge for raping his sister.

They were Jacob's sons IIRC.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:35:04 AM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Pretty much goes to show that Christianity is a very masculine religion, unlike the common stereotype. God has no problem with justified arse kicking.

Those are all Old Testement books...Christianity wasn't around, yet. Prophesied, but not yet practiced.

True, but its still from the same God.

The new testament has a few of its own verses, check my sig line.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:35:51 AM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Evolution is real wether god created its process or not. Its scientific observation. Has NOTHING to do with religion.

an amoeba doesn't just 'figure things out' ya know

I missed your point......

There is a God and He made it all.

On a sidenote: As far as the other posts in this thread just keep in mind this is GD

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:36:14 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I do know that god says to not kill, then does it himself.

I believe the original phrasing of that commandment is something like "You shouldn't murder people."

Two differences there, you (not God) and murder (not kill). Also, they're commandments, not universal standards that also apply to the almighty.

So it really is "do as I say. not as I do"..... Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Yeah, kind of like an adult telling a toddler not to touch the stove.

Do as I say, and not as I do, indeed.

Oh shit, My thread_happy program crashed!

Yeah, but thats not a universal standard so it doesnt apply to me. It only applies to the toddler and not adults.

Well, this is a standard that applies only to humans. Not dogs, lions, birds, fish, or Gods.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:38:45 AM EDT

[#29]

This thread has evolved into major suckage.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:39:56 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:

Sigh.....The more I learn about the bible the more contradictory I see it is. Take this thread for example. You cant kill......but god can. God knows everything......except that the first civilization he created was screwed up and full of non-belivers and he had to redo it (the flood).

Maybe your life would be simpler if God imposed his will on you and left you with no choices at all... A relationship with Him is voluntary, not mandatory. However, there are consequences in ignoring that relationship...

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:39:59 AM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
This thread has evolved into major suckage.

God did it then. Blame him.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:40:37 AM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Sigh.....The more I learn about the bible the more contradictory I see it is. Take this thread for example. You cant kill......but god can. God knows everything......except that the first civilization he created was screwed up and full of non-belivers and he had to redo it (the flood).

Maybe your life would be simpler if God imposed his will on you and left you with no choices at all... A relationship with Him is voluntary, not mandatory. However, there are consequences in ignoring that relationship...

Ill take my chances....

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:41:10 AM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I do know that god says to not kill, then does it himself.

I believe the original phrasing of that commandment is something like "You shouldn't murder people."

Two differences there, you (not God) and murder (not kill). Also, they're commandments, not universal standards that also apply to the almighty.

So it really is "do as I say. not as I do"..... Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Don't be so simple. That's no more contradictory than the society we live in where murder is illegal but capital punishment is legal. There's no contradiction there.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:41:41 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:

+1... in Hebrew and Greek

And it doesn't say thou shalt not kill in Exodus 20:13

The Hebrew word used is XCR raw-tsakh' MURDER, UNJUST KILLING

God can kill whatever God wants to kill.

Remember, the Commandment from God is Thou shalt not murder, not I shall not murder.

It's good to be King of Kings....

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:42:20 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
This thread has evolved into major suckage.

We knew that was going to happen.

What else did you expect from the religion haters on this site?

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:42:20 AM EDT

[#36]

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:43:54 AM EDT

[#37]

tag

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:45:28 AM EDT

[#38]

Killed 1000 people with a donkey jaw bone.

Maybe there was a mistranslation of the word "donkey jawbone" with the hebrew word for "minigun"

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:46:14 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Evolution is real wether god created its process or not. Its scientific observation. Has NOTHING to do with religion.

how do ya figure? there's not one SHREAD of actual PROOF to it. hense why it's called a THEORY and not a LAW. no one has yet been able to prove macro-evolution any more than anyone has managed to prove creation. they are BOTH beliefs (or theories, if you wish to use "scientific" terminology) and nothing more.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:46:46 AM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
Killed 1000 people with a donkey jaw bone.

Maybe there was a mistranslation of the word "donkey jawbone" with the hebrew word for "minigun"

I seriously LOLed at that one!

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:47:09 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
I am a very dedicated believer, but some things are just funny.

www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html

I chuckled. He didn't mention other badass stuff, like Samsom still kicked ass after his eyes were gouged out, or when Jezebel got tossed off a balcony to her death and her carcass was eaten by wild dogs, or when Heber's wife killed Sisera by driving a tent pin through his head into the ground.... but I digress.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:48:41 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:

Quoted:
This thread has evolved into major suckage.

God did it then. Blame him.

I'm not a Christian, so I'll blame you instead.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:52:42 AM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Evolution is real wether god created its process or not. Its scientific observation. Has NOTHING to do with religion.

how do ya figure? there's not one SHREAD of actual PROOF to it. hense why it's called a THEORY and not a LAW. no one has yet been able to prove macro-evolution any more than anyone has managed to prove creation. they are BOTH beliefs (or theories, if you wish to use "scientific" terminology) and nothing more.

You dont know what a theory is do you? A theory is a group of FACTS. The theory brings it together. You cant have a theory without fact.

As for the proof of evolution.....well, I could sit here and type for hours but that would suck. Oh, and if you want proof of macro-evolution you only have to look as far as your own DNA.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:53:09 AM EDT

[#44]

"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces."

As partially bald guy with no kids, I think this is probably the most important verse in the Bible and hence has my full endorsement.

Smarty pants little bastages. Mess with the bald bull, get the horns.

Posted: 11/29/2007 11:53:15 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:

Quoted:
This thread has evolved into major suckage.

God did it then. Blame him.

I'm not a Christian, so I'll blame you instead.

Thats cool..........

Posted: 11/29/2007 12:05:38 PM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:
You dont know what a theory is do you? A theory is a group of FACTS. The theory brings it together. You cant have a theory without fact.

yet it cannot be proven with 100% certainty. it's still a case of "it's probably," not "it is." yet you state it as if evolution is a natual law...

As for the proof of evolution.....well, I could sit here and type for hours but that would suck. Oh, and if you want proof of macro-evolution you only have to look as far as your own DNA.

ok....and what, pray tell, am i looking for? genes in common with an ape? or genes in common with a chicken? since by that reasoning and the last I heard, humans are closer related to chickens than to apes.

and if evolution is all about survival of the fittest and genetic mutations, then why the hell is it that there are still apes (or whatever we're supposedly closest related to) on this earth? you'd think by now that humans -- being more "fit" -- would have fully supplanted apes. and why are ALL genetic mutations these days (other than viral) discovered to be detrimental instead of beneficial?

Posted: 11/29/2007 12:06:57 PM EDT

[#47]

Wow, the Bible looks like good reading!

"Gaze upon our dick tower and despair."

That line made me LOL

Posted: 11/29/2007 12:14:29 PM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You dont know what a theory is do you? A theory is a group of FACTS. The theory brings it together. You cant have a theory without fact.

yet it cannot be proven with 100% certainty. it's still a case of "it's probably," not "it is." yet you state it as if evolution is a natual law...

As for the proof of evolution.....well, I could sit here and type for hours but that would suck. Oh, and if you want proof of macro-evolution you only have to look as far as your own DNA.

ok....and what, pray tell, am i looking for? genes in common with an ape? or genes in common with a chicken? since by that reasoning and the last I heard, humans are closer related to chickens than to apes.

and if evolution is all about survival of the fittest and genetic mutations, then why the hell is it that there are still apes (or whatever we're supposedly closest related to) on this earth? you'd think by now that humans -- being more "fit" -- would have fully supplanted apes. and why are ALL genetic mutations these days (other than viral) discovered to be detrimental instead of beneficial?

Red- Not even close. We are MUCH MUCH closely related to Apes. In fact, we ARE apes.

Blue- The apes on this earth NOW, are not our ancestors. Its easier to think of them as our brothers. We did not evolve from the apes present today. We evolved from Homo erectus which there are plenty of fossils for.

yellow- Thats not true. Think of sickel cell anemia. For a larger answer you need to look at different races of humans. Different races are less suceptable to different things...like cancer for instance because of genetic mutation.

Posted: 11/29/2007 12:19:54 PM EDT

[#49]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You dont know what a theory is do you? A theory is a group of FACTS. The theory brings it together. You cant have a theory without fact.

yet it cannot be proven with 100% certainty. it's still a case of "it's probably," not "it is." yet you state it as if evolution is a natual law...

As for the proof of evolution.....well, I could sit here and type for hours but that would suck. Oh, and if you want proof of macro-evolution you only have to look as far as your own DNA.

ok....and what, pray tell, am i looking for? genes in common with an ape? or genes in common with a chicken? since by that reasoning and the last I heard, humans are closer related to chickens than to apes.

and if evolution is all about survival of the fittest and genetic mutations, then why the hell is it that there are still apes (or whatever we're supposedly closest related to) on this earth? you'd think by now that humans -- being more "fit" -- would have fully supplanted apes. and why are ALL genetic mutations these days (other than viral) discovered to be detrimental instead of beneficial?

Red- Not even close. We are MUCH MUCH closely related to Apes. In fact, we ARE apes.

Blue- The apes on this earth NOW, are not our ancestors. Its easier to think of them as our brothers. We did not evolve from the apes present today. We evolved from Homo erectus which there are plenty of fossils for.

yellow- Thats not true. Think of sickel cell anemia. For a larger answer you need to look at different races of humans. Different races are less suceptable to different things...like cancer for instance because of genetic mutation.

Hoody, since you have never read the bible, you wouldn't know that it's actually NOT an answer to the origin of the species. Much of the Old Testament is figurative speech, which I believe to be the case because there was no common language or conceptual abstraction that would permit documentation of such ideas with an advanced mathematical, chemical, or physics-related taxonomy... such that we take for granted in 2007.

What the bible IS, would be a twofold answer:

1) a roadmap documenting the prophecy leading to, and the events surrounding the birth, life and death of Jesus, that demonstrate his truly being the Messiah

and

2) the message of redemption and salvation that Jesus brings to the human race.

The rest is doctrinal, denominational conjecture that has been contrived by men over the generations.

Posted: 11/29/2007 12:22:42 PM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You dont know what a theory is do you? A theory is a group of FACTS. The theory brings it together. You cant have a theory without fact.

yet it cannot be proven with 100% certainty. it's still a case of "it's probably," not "it is." yet you state it as if evolution is a natual law...

As for the proof of evolution.....well, I could sit here and type for hours but that would suck. Oh, and if you want proof of macro-evolution you only have to look as far as your own DNA.

ok....and what, pray tell, am i looking for? genes in common with an ape? or genes in common with a chicken? since by that reasoning and the last I heard, humans are closer related to chickens than to apes.

and if evolution is all about survival of the fittest and genetic mutations, then why the hell is it that there are still apes (or whatever we're supposedly closest related to) on this earth? you'd think by now that humans -- being more "fit" -- would have fully supplanted apes. and why are ALL genetic mutations these days (other than viral) discovered to be detrimental instead of beneficial?

Red- Not even close. We are MUCH MUCH closely related to Apes. In fact, we ARE apes.

Blue- The apes on this earth NOW, are not our ancestors. Its easier to think of them as our brothers. We did not evolve from the apes present today. We evolved from Homo erectus which there are plenty of fossils for.

yellow- Thats not true. Think of sickel cell anemia. For a larger answer you need to look at different races of humans. Different races are less suceptable to different things...like cancer for instance because of genetic mutation.

WHY are you here, shitting in this thread?

If you want to debate evolution, can you not start a different thread?

This is a thread about a guy writing a humorous take on particular bible verses. It has NOTHING to do with any larger debate.

You brought up up Darwin, for NO APPARENT REASON - and now continue to argue with people about briging up Darwin for NO APPARENT REASON, and now you seem to want to derail the thread - and again, your reason for doing so escapes me.

Will you please just stop if I ask nicely?

Please?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - The Bible is Bad A _ _ ! Don't read if you don't have a sense of humor! (Page 2 of 3)

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