Dear  Abby,  

I am  a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one  of my sisters, who lives in San Antonio, is married to a transvestite. My  father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual  misconduct with his three children. I  have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.  Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for  President?

Signed,

Worried About My  Reputation

good one

Dear Worried About My Reputation, DISOWN THE COUSIN!

LMAO....

Hilarious but knowing this city it wouldn't suprise me if it was indeed true.