Are you looking at using an AR for INSIDE home defense or OUTSIDE?
If you're wanting something inside, I can tell you - a heavy bullet will not stay in the confinement of you house. And you will be responsable for the bullet once it exits thru a wall or door and ( god forbid ) hits Joe Ed that lives next door. I know ( first hand unforunatly
), that a 55gr spitzer will go thru a ceiling, floor, 2 walls and knock a chunk out of a wood shelf, coming out of a 20" 1/7. A pistol caliber would be better to in-house defense.
I'd look at Mag-safe or Glaser .223 rounds. They are a true fragmenting bullets and very light weight ( you want something that when it hits, dumps all it's energy in the target, and not over penitrate ).
Also look at the range you'll be shooting at. What is the longest possible shot inside your house. Usually it's down a hallway and into a room and usually it's no more than 30 to 60 feet.
And if you're gonna compete with it, forget the carbine lenght, unless you do 3 gun or combat rifle, or something along those lines. And if you're gonna shoot the heavier bullets, check the ojive of the barrel. They can't make heavy bullets bigger around so they make 'em longer and if the barrel isn't made for for it, it'll jack the pressure way up and that's when things get bad.
(edit: *most* true mil-spec. 5.56 barrels will handle up to 77gr. but i'd still check them to be safe)