Ode to Oklahoma - AR15.COM

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Posted: 8/2/2011 9:36:16 AM EDT

Ode to Oklahoma

The devil wanted a place on earth

Sort of a summer home

A place to spend his vacation

Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Oklahoma

A place both wretched and rough

Where the climate was to his liking

And the cowboys hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons

And ordered no rain to fall

He dried up the lakes in the valleys

Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren country

He transplanted shrubs from hell.

The cactus, thistle and prickly pear

The climate suited them well.

Now the home was much to his liking

But animal life, he had none.

So he created crawling creatures

That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake

With its forked poisonous tongue.

Taught it to strike and rattle

And how to swallow its young.

Then he made scorpions and lizards

And the ugly old horned toad.

He placed spiders of every description

Under rocks by the side of the road.

Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,

Hotter and hotter still.

Until even the cactus wilted

And the old horned lizard took ill.

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom

As any creator would

He chuckled a little up his sleeve

And admitted that it was good.

'Twas summer now and Satan lay

By a prickly pear to rest.

The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow

So he took off his coat and vest.

"By Golly," he finally panted,

"I did my job too well,

I'm going back to where I came from,

Oklahoma is hotter than Hell."
anon

Posted: 8/2/2011 9:51:34 AM EDT

[#1]

Posted: 8/2/2011 10:16:41 AM EDT

[#2]

It's 105 here and it actually felt kind of cool when I went out to get lunch.

Posted: 8/2/2011 12:48:05 PM EDT

[#3]

Normally I scoff at people when they proclaim how hot it is in their neck of the woods compared to Texas.

This week, Oklahomans, my condolences go out to you. That's some ungodly heat y'all have to deal with. I hope everyone's A/C can make it through this period unharmed.

Posted: 8/2/2011 1:45:19 PM EDT

[#4]

a/c, what's that?

Posted: 8/2/2011 2:03:14 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
a/c, what's that?

Just like rain, its a myth seen only by the delusional. Ive heard that accourding to legend, a/c cools the air

Posted: 8/2/2011 2:20:32 PM EDT

[#6]

110° right now and I'm coming in... Shower and soak up some a/c

We are quitting work at about 13:30 or 14:00 most days when it hits 105° and boy are the ladders and tools hot if they've been sitting long in the sun!

Dan's keepin cool by the fire hydrants tho

Posted: 8/2/2011 2:46:11 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:

Quoted:
a/c, what's that?

Just like rain, its a myth seen only by the delusional. Ive heard that accourding to legend, a/c cools the air

ever notice how the air gets cooler when Dan stops talking?

Posted: 8/2/2011 4:02:06 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:

Quoted:
a/c, what's that?

Just like rain, its a myth seen only by the delusional. Ive heard that accourding to legend, a/c cools the air

ever notice how the air gets cooler when Dan stops talking?

Don't let me catch you by a fire hydrant!

Posted: 8/2/2011 4:07:59 PM EDT

[#9]

Posted: 8/2/2011 4:41:03 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:

a/c, what's that?

I'm the biggest wuss when it comes to A/C - if the one in my house quit, I'd drop the cash and move the family to a hotel for the duration I believe. Anyone without A/C in those temps is crazy. Y'all stay safe...

Posted: 8/2/2011 4:52:10 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:

Quoted:
a/c, what's that?

I'm the biggest wuss when it comes to A/C - if the one in my house quit, I'd drop the cash and move the family to a hotel for the duration I believe. Anyone without A/C in those temps is crazy. Y'all stay safe...

my pop was a heating/air man for 30 years, I worked for years building them, very few enjoy the A/C as much as I, but hell I'm practicing to become an indian again, even work in a indian casino

Posted: 8/2/2011 4:57:11 PM EDT

[#12]

My hat's off to you, Ndenway. I would croak in short order.

Posted: 8/2/2011 5:01:23 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:

Quoted:
a/c, what's that?

I'm the biggest wuss when it comes to A/C - if the one in my house quit, I'd drop the cash and move the family to a hotel for the duration I believe. Anyone without A/C in those temps is crazy. Y'all stay safe...

my pop was a heating/air man for 30 years, I worked for years building them, very few enjoy the A/C as much as I, but hell I'm practicing to become an indian again, even work in a indian casino

Oh please. You'll be easy to pick off wandering around in a heat induced stupor

Just dont go wandering around in a breechcloth, or whatever its called. Think of the children!

Posted: 8/2/2011 5:28:03 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:

Quoted:
a/c, what's that?

I'm the biggest wuss when it comes to A/C - if the one in my house quit, I'd drop the cash and move the family to a hotel for the duration I believe. Anyone without A/C in those temps is crazy. Y'all stay safe...

my pop was a heating/air man for 30 years, I worked for years building them, very few enjoy the A/C as much as I, but hell I'm practicing to become an indian again, even work in a indian casino

Oh please. You'll be easy to pick off wandering around in a heat induced stupor

Just dont go wandering around in a breechcloth, or whatever its called. Think of the children!

some days the heat is a bit draining, but hell it ain't totaly bad, it's not like I'm not doing any physical labor.

the other day when it rained a bit my living room felt like a sauna, so it was kinda like what I'd imagine going to a spa, get all sweaty then jump in a cold refreshing shower, put on some clean clothes, wet my shirt down and go for a ride, it's like a/c until my shirt dries.

one thing I really dislike about the whole deal is I put up picture frames with hot melt glue and the shit is melting, been coming to the house every evening finding pics laying on the floors

.

as for the breachcloth, I'd have to skin several deer or one big buffalo to cover my fat ass.

I'm kind of hoping some of those jehova witnesses come around to the spread the word of God, I'm going to invite them in and everytime they go to leave I'm going to ask them another question that demands a long winded responce, I been reading the bible again in my spare time when I'm not cruising the boards here, so I think I can carry on a decent conversation, or hell I might learn something, either way it'll amuse me for a bit.

Posted: 8/2/2011 7:27:21 PM EDT

[#15]

Back when I had my TV & Appliance business, summers like this were
frustrating, you had to order your window air conditioners in November,
with no idea what kind of summer you were going to have, so you would
give it your best guess and order 80-100 window air conditioners in
various sizes, and if it was really hot like this year, you would run
out quick, everybody would run out quick and you couldn't get any more,
sometimes you might get lucky and get 15-20 more, but if it was really
hot, you couldn't get anymore. People would be begging for them, and
there weren't any to be had!

Posted: 8/3/2011 5:54:21 AM EDT

[#16]

A neighbor brought over a bill from an HVAC repair call she had at a rent house.
The tech charged her $395 to replace a condenser fan motor.

I haven't kept current on prices but last time I bought a fan motor it ran $35 from Johnstone's for a Chinese POS.
It was the only one they had that fit so I put it in for my in-laws.
Now the older folks need AC. Buying a fan to blow 99 degree air over them just doesn't seem to work too well to keep them cool.

Now Nden can take the heat and so can most of us if we had to. It's the older folks that really need AC.
Old Bud didn't get a window unit until he was 101. On hot summer days when I was up there he wanted cold beer
so we would sit under one of his oak trees, drink beer, and eat the heart out of a big watermelon.
Sounds weird but it was really enjoyable.

But damn, I've got to have my AC now.
This 105 heat in the shade tires my fat old ass out.

Posted: 8/3/2011 7:28:37 AM EDT

[#17]

Speaking of the A/C going out: I guess I invited bad karma by posting in this thread. The pad mounted transformer in front of our house died last night at 9:30. I took my kids over to my mom's house and stayed there until about 1 myself - my wife can sleep through anything, so she stayed home. They did get it replaced around 1:30 in the morning, so kudos to the work crews that are working their butts off. They said transformers have been popping like nobody's business with all the heat.

Posted: 8/3/2011 10:36:10 AM EDT

[#18]

Luckily I replaced my central air unit a couple of years back, its working like a champ, but it is running a lot. If I was still nursing along my old 25+ year old unit, this would probably have killed it, besides the fact that it wasn't a high efficiency unit and would have run my electric bill up a lot more than this new high efficiency unit.

Posted: 8/3/2011 11:01:41 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Luckily I replaced my central air unit a couple of years back, its working like a champ, but it is running a lot. If I was still nursing along my old 25+ year old unit, this would probably have killed it, besides the fact that it wasn't a high efficiency unit and would have run my electric bill up a lot more than this new high efficiency unit.

You probably jinxed yourself by putting that in this thread.

You certainly don't deserve it while others probably do.

ETA Set you thermostat a bit higher than you normally do.
Wash your condenser coil more often in this heat too.
Find out what size capacitors you have on the fan and on the compressor and get some spares.
If they bulge or leak and your unit is not running, you can fix it ASAP with one of those spares.
Also, keep your evaporator coil clean and change your filters fairly often.
Hell, my condensing unit fan doesn't sound good to me.
I'm headed out to get a spare.
If I don't, it will go out. If I do, it won't.
That's my karma.

Posted: 8/3/2011 3:07:44 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Luckily I replaced my central air unit a couple of years back, its working like a champ, but it is running a lot. If I was still nursing along my old 25+ year old unit, this would probably have killed it, besides the fact that it wasn't a high efficiency unit and would have run my electric bill up a lot more than this new high efficiency unit.

my mom's got a three year old high efficency a/c, I think she said her electric bill was $265 for the month, hell I got three box fans and one ceiling fan and my electric bill was $87 bucks this month, it was $81 last month, don't know how the fuck that's figured.

Posted: 8/3/2011 5:25:40 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Luckily I replaced my central air unit a couple of years back, its working like a champ, but it is running a lot. If I was still nursing along my old 25+ year old unit, this would probably have killed it, besides the fact that it wasn't a high efficiency unit and would have run my electric bill up a lot more than this new high efficiency unit.

my mom's got a three year old high efficency a/c, I think she said her electric bill was $265 for the month, hell I got three box fans and one ceiling fan and my electric bill was $87 bucks this month, it was $81 last month, don't know how the fuck that's figured.

It comes from having the TV so much watching all those John Wayne movies.

Posted: 8/4/2011 2:49:01 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Luckily I replaced my central air unit a couple of years back, its working like a champ, but it is running a lot. If I was still nursing along my old 25+ year old unit, this would probably have killed it, besides the fact that it wasn't a high efficiency unit and would have run my electric bill up a lot more than this new high efficiency unit.

my mom's got a three year old high efficency a/c, I think she said her electric bill was $265 for the month, hell I got three box fans and one ceiling fan and my electric bill was $87 bucks this month, it was $81 last month, don't know how the fuck that's figured.

It comes from having the TV so much watching all those John Wayne movies.

can't be from the tv then