I didn't notice a shoulder, but it seemed obvious to me when I screw in the buffer tube that one turn too far and the pin of the buffer retainer would not protrude properly, and one less turn would not hold the retainer at all. That's what it seemed like at the time at least.
Um, since you didn't mentioned what kind of stock I must ask: you aren't using some kind of stock that utilizes a carbine/collapsing stock length tube and a full A2 stock length spring that may have been so strong that it battered the retainer pin, are you? Since your pin is bent forward, I wonder if it took a beating from a buffer spring that was too strong. If the buffer detent/retaining spring was missing or weak, it may have only pushed the retainer pin up just a little so the buffer hit the very tip bending it forward. I'm going with the missing/weak spring for buffer retaining detent/pin theory.
Edit: Ack! Sorry, your right, you did say A2 stock and spring, I missed that.