Getting married, need advice...

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Getting married, need advice...

Posted: 6/7/2007 8:06:03 PM EDT

What should I do/can I do to ease my new wife's transition from the civilian world to the military world?

She's quitting her job and moving here as soon as we can get post housing...mostly since I don't want her living in town alone while I'm deployed and it's easier to get from "a" to "b" and back after PT if I don't have to leave post<G>...

Any and all pointers and suggestions are appreciated!

GB
Scout, 1/22IN, 4ID
Ft Hood, TX

Posted: 6/8/2007 2:33:29 AM EDT

[#1]

Does your base have a Family Support Center? That would be a good place to start.

Also, talk to your First Sergeant (that's what we called them in the AF - the senior enlisted member in the unit who handles enlisted affairs).

I'm sure there are resources.

Congratulations on getting married. Me & mine just passed 19 great years.

Posted: 6/8/2007 2:41:47 AM EDT

[#2]

First off let me wish you good luck. Second there are now some good books for spouses that have never dealt with the military. Also helps them deal with deployments. Might also help to sit her down and explain military life so she isn't going to be running to your first sgt. or CO because she doesn't like something or your spending too much time in the field etc. (Yes I saw lots of that when I was in.

)

The books are... Todays Military Wife and Married to the military.

Best of luck.

Posted: 6/8/2007 5:36:42 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
First off let me wish you good luck. Second there are now some good books for spouses that have never dealt with the military. Also helps them deal with deployments. Might also help to sit her down and explain military life so she isn't going to be running to your first sgt. or CO because she doesn't like something or your spending too much time in the field etc. (Yes I saw lots of that when I was in.

)

The books are... Todays Military Wife and Married to the military.

Best of luck.

Yeah, we've already had the talk about my job (I'm a Scout), so she understands that there are going to be those times when I come home late, leave home early and go to the field for an indefinite period of time. She also understands, doesn't like them, that I'm deploying. She's a pretty smart cookie and is picking up on the military lifestyle already. I'll definitely point her in the direction of those books and thanks again!
GB

Posted: 6/8/2007 5:40:24 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
Does your base have a Family Support Center? That would be a good place to start.

Also, talk to your First Sergeant (that's what we called them in the AF - the senior enlisted member in the unit who handles enlisted affairs).

I'm sure there are resources.

Congratulations on getting married. Me & mine just passed 19 great years.

I'm pretty sure it does, I'll be finding all those places over the next few weeks. I'll get my Platoon Sergeant's advice over the 1SG, but that's always a source, albeit the very last one I would go to...as I don't want the issues that would come rolling down for jumping all those kevlars to get the 1SG's advice.

And Thanks! I think the first couple of years are going to be the hardest as I'm deploying later this year and won't see her but a couple of weeks in about 15 months.

GB

Posted: 6/8/2007 5:44:35 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Does your base have a Family Support Center? That would be a good place to start.

Also, talk to your First Sergeant (that's what we called them in the AF - the senior enlisted member in the unit who handles enlisted affairs).

I'm sure there are resources.

Congratulations on getting married. Me & mine just passed 19 great years.

I'm pretty sure it does, I'll be finding all those places over the next few weeks. I'll get my Platoon Sergeant's advice over the 1SG, but that's always a source, albeit the very last one I would go to...as I don't want the issues that would come rolling down for jumping all those kevlars to get the 1SG's advice.

GB

A First Sergeant may be something different in the Army. In the AF he works alongside the squadron commander handling enlisted personnel issues. He's not a supervisor or manager. It's his job to take care of morale & discipline. If someone has a problem the advice is "Go see the First Sergeant."

I have no idea if the Army has an equivalent.

Posted: 6/8/2007 6:00:45 PM EDT

[#6]

Oh the Army has the equivalent, but he will want to use his chain of command to see him, he isn't going to want to jump it.

Posted: 6/8/2007 6:06:47 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:

Quoted:
First off let me wish you good luck. Second there are now some good books for spouses that have never dealt with the military. Also helps them deal with deployments. Might also help to sit her down and explain military life so she isn't going to be running to your first sgt. or CO because she doesn't like something or your spending too much time in the field etc. (Yes I saw lots of that when I was in.

)

The books are... Todays Military Wife and Married to the military.

Best of luck.

Yeah, we've already had the talk about my job (I'm a Scout), so she understands that there are going to be those times when I come home late, leave home early and go to the field for an indefinite period of time. She also understands, doesn't like them, that I'm deploying. She's a pretty smart cookie and is picking up on the military lifestyle already. I'll definitely point her in the direction of those books and thanks again!
GB

While your deployed...hopefully she has some hobbies to take up her spare time. Or then will be a good time to learn some new hobbies.
No problem on the help/books. My hubby has always had it easy since I met and married him while we were both in. Even when he was in the guard. She should be able to find those book pretty reasonably through Amazon.com.
Best of luck and stay safe.

Posted: 6/9/2007 7:25:26 AM EDT

[#8]

don't rule out the family readiness group. they can be a big help.

btw, message inbound, might get to meet you soon.

Posted: 6/9/2007 8:29:39 AM EDT

[#9]

Do not expect or demand she sit at home waiting for you to return or be there 24/7 in case you call. She will still have a life to live and needs to figure out how to do that without you coming home everynight. She needs to stay busy to keep her mind of you and worrying herself do death.

Posted: 6/14/2007 6:53:20 PM EDT

[#10]

I would really be serious about talking to her, most females seem to be ok with it until the first deployment comes. Dont get me wrong she could be different, but she gives up alot when marrying a military guy.

I dont mean to be all negative but i saw alot of bad things happen to relationships on my first deployment, make sure you are clear with her.

Posted: 6/15/2007 4:25:47 AM EDT

[#11]

Just want to say a quick "Thanks" to everyone who offered their advice, I'm keeping all of it in mind.

Also wanted to let everyone know that today's the day! My uniform is all set, my spurs are polished, my Stetson just got a quick wipedown. In a few short hours, I'm going to be married.

We're taking pictures, so I'll try to put a couple from the service up here.

All the best,
GB
Ft Hood, TX