I never had that much trouble with dirt bag privates, but while I was a private my best friend was dirtbag #1 in the PLT. He was the nicest guy you could imagine, and he meant well, he actually tried his ass off to get it together, but a combination of overbearing NCO's and what I can only describe as an uncontraoolable tendency to fuck up, is what got him into trouble. This guy knew his job, and didn't mind doing it, I never once heard complaints about him in the field, but in garrison he just screwed up everything he touched. He was never on time for anything (I hung out with him alot, and got into trouble myself more than a few times waiting on him, but learned to leave his sorry ass if he wanted to be late), he could forget about anything, and had no concept of keeping his personal space squared away. I was roomates with him for three years at Bragg, went to AIT with him at Gordon, he was like a brother, and I feel sorry for him in a way, but didn't feel too bad when he got himself into trouble. I knew him better than anybody else in the unit, and the NCO's were constantly asking me what his problem was, and I had no good answer. I remeber once we had went to lunch, we ate at the F/A chow hall right across the street from the motor pool, we broke for lunch at 1130, and had formation at 1300, we were done eating by 1210, and had less than a five minute walk back to the MP, on the way out of the chow hall he runs into an old buddy from another unit, and stops to talk to him, I told him that I was going to get back to the motor hole and hang out in the smoke box, he says he'll be right there. He showed up for formation right after the PLT SGT called attention, that was just a typical thing for him, I even bought him two watches, and he still couldn't make it on time.
I never remeber this guy ever passing a room inspection (and for most of the time I was there we had them daily), or a TA50 inspection. It was a regular event, one of our team chiefs would come up to the room (we were on different teams in the same section), they would go over my side and either find something very minor, or nothing at all, tell me to satnd by, go over to his side and find two weeks of dirty laundry under his bed, or his locker would look like a garbage dump, and we would both get the living shit smoked out of us (I had more time in grade than him, so I was told I was responsible for my roomate feeping his shit clean). I never really resented him, even though alot of guys would have, because I knew him, and I knew he didn't mean to screw up, he just couldn't help himself.
After about two and a half years two things happened, his Site Chief (who up until that time I had idolized for being so squared away, and on top of everything), was replaced, and Ft. Bragg got some new policy that prevented the NCO's from doing daily Barracks inspection. Well His site Chief had pretty much been my hero, he was always squared away, had 300pt PT tests, worked 40 hrs a week moonlighting as an engine mechanic, and held us (me and my roomate) to an unachievable standard, he always met the standard he set, and expected me and my buddy to as well, I tried my ass off and always ended up tired beyond belief doing all of the things he told us we should be able to do in a day. Well after two and a half years it had started getting to me that i could never please the guy no matter how much better I did than everybody else in the platoon, no matter that I never failed inspections, or won soldier of month cometetions, none of it was enough for this guy, I was starting to wonder if I was as bad as he said I was, I asked my own site chief and he very candidly told me that I was a great troop, but that this SSG had been in my shit so much that the other site chiefs thought I must be some kind of fuck up when they weren't around (and the squad leader who was never there thought the same). Less than a week later this asshole SSG disappears, poof he's gone, so I ask my site shief (who is the biggest gossip in the damn BN), and he tells me that the asshole I had been trying to keep up with had been busted for Cocaine use, one of his many additional duties was Drug and Alcahol NCO, so he is the one who ran the piss tests, but never had to take one until somebody (I never did find out who) dropped a dime on him. Within a week every NCO in our squad came up to me and told me that they had been wrong about me, and that they could use another guy on thier team, I told them that I was perfectly happy to stay right where I was. Less than a month later I went to the promotion board and aced it. My buddy didn't fare so well. I got orders for Korea, and went, I came home on mid tour, and caught up with him, it appears he had finally gotten an article 15, I think it was for writing a bad check at the PX, he had been busted down to E1, and the typical loss of pay, and confinement to quarters. I was discharged from Korea, and caught up with him, he was still at Bragg after his ETS date, because he had pushed it to far and they decided to chapter him, which kept him in past his ETS date by about a month.