The truth about men

Site Notices

Posted: 8/18/2004 8:04:44 PM EDT

I found this article amusing. So, do you find these to be true?

Mom left out the occasional salient but crazy-making truth about life with men. No problem, really: men themselves clue us in soon enough. Who else, after all, would have the audacity to look at us when we're eight months pregnant and confide that they're not sure they can handle being in the delivery room?

The truth is that men:

Can't multitask. Sure, you can do the laundry, bake a cake and make a few phone calls simultaneously. But giving a man instructions to do two or more things at the same time is the equivalent of wearing kryptonite lingerie on a date with Superman. The guy's just not going to be able to function.

Don't remember the way we do. This is half frustration and half parlor game. When he does something to piss you off, tell him, "This is just like what you did in the middle of dinner at your great-aunt Marie's 75th birthday party, and you promised me then that it would never happen again!" He'll have no idea what you're talking about-heck, he's doing well if he remembers that he has a great-aunt Marie — and the more details you dredge up, the more perplexed he'll become.

Have inverse priorities. In Manland, it is utterly unreasonable of you to make such a fuss over the water ring his beer bottle left on the mahogany table that's been in your family for five generations. A crisis, my friend, is what happens if you change the settings on the stereo's graphic equalizer.

Are a tad color-blind. One friend and I completely freaked out her husband with an extended conversation about the contrast in color between the couch, which was more of a burgundy, and the carpet, which was more of a cranberry. We knew he'd reached his breaking point when he cried out, "For pity's sake, they're both just red!"

Can't define the word irrational. This is a particularly good trick of theirs. The way the game works is that he whittles away at your patience with some little thing or other. It could be that he went out three times today and each time forgot that he promised to pick up the dry cleaning. It could be that his version of "helping you" to clean the house involves re-alphabetizing the CDs, which somehow got out of order. Eventually, you snap and let loose with a sarcastic or even unkind comment. That's his cue to adopt a patient if long-suffering tone in which to ask why you have suddenly grown so irrational.

It's a trap that never fails to snare us, and the only escape is to look him in the eye and say, "This is just like that time three years ago when..."

Posted: 8/18/2004 8:27:12 PM EDT

[#1]

"This is just like that time three years ago when...."

I've said it.

Posted: 8/18/2004 8:44:51 PM EDT

[#2]

That is so accurate that it's scary. Has this woman been watching my husband??

Edit, this is cat_aclysm, not geekdude, but this is certainly an appropriate post for this.

Posted: 8/18/2004 8:54:14 PM EDT

[#3]

There are only eight or ten colors--and none of them are things you eat.

The last one is completely wrong. When my wife gets all, um, "funny" and I ask her what's wrong she says "nothing--I'm fine." I just shrug and go on with life--no reason to call her names and refer to her as "irrational" or "a bitch." Fine means fine to me. I should add she is now taking those "Estroven" women's crazy pills, so her moods are mostly back to her normal (very) sweet self. Life is good.

Posted: 8/19/2004 6:38:40 AM EDT

[#4]

tagged for later comment...

Posted: 8/19/2004 6:49:10 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:

Mom left out the occasional salient but crazy-making truth about life with men. No problem, really: men themselves clue us in soon enough. Who else, after all, would have the audacity to look at us when we're eight months pregnant and confide that they're not sure they can handle being in the delivery room?

I was too in the delivery room. I even held a leg during the pushing.

The truth is that men:

Can't multitask. Sure, you can do the laundry, bake a cake and make a few phone calls simultaneously. But giving a man instructions to do two or more things at the same time is the equivalent of wearing kryptonite lingerie on a date with Superman. The guy's just not going to be able to function.

I am at work, doing work and on AR-15.com as we speak.

Don't remember the way we do. This is half frustration and half parlor game. When he does something to piss you off, tell him, "This is just like what you did in the middle of dinner at your great-aunt Marie's 75th birthday party, and you promised me then that it would never happen again!" He'll have no idea what you're talking about-heck, he's doing well if he remembers that he has a great-aunt Marie — and the more details you dredge up, the more perplexed he'll become.

As God as my witness... Sometimes you women think of something and then cannot remember if you told us or not, then assume you did. Later you get mad at us for not remembering the thing you never even told us.

Have inverse priorities. In Manland, it is utterly unreasonable of you to make such a fuss over the water ring his beer bottle left on the mahogany table that's been in your family for five generations. A crisis, my friend, is what happens if you change the settings on the stereo's graphic equalizer.

I don't drink beer. Vodka tonic thank you very much.

Are a tad color-blind. One friend and I completely freaked out her husband with an extended conversation about the contrast in color between the couch, which was more of a burgundy, and the carpet, which was more of a cranberry. We knew he'd reached his breaking point when he cried out, "For pity's sake, they're both just red!"

As God as my witness... there really are only a handful of colors.

Can't define the word irrational. This is a particularly good trick of theirs. The way the game works is that he whittles away at your patience with some little thing or other. It could be that he went out three times today and each time forgot that he promised to pick up the dry cleaning. It could be that his version of "helping you" to clean the house involves re-alphabetizing the CDs, which somehow got out of order. Eventually, you snap and let loose with a sarcastic or even unkind comment. That's his cue to adopt a patient if long-suffering tone in which to ask why you have suddenly grown so irrational.

That sounds about right... Someone has to put the CD's in order.

It's a trap that never fails to snare us, and the only escape is to look him in the eye and say, "This is just like that time three years ago when..."

As I have said many times before. Women set the traps, not us men.

Posted: 8/19/2004 6:55:14 AM EDT

[#6]

I'd say that those statements are only half true, at the most. For the parts that ARE true.....that still doesn't mean the PROBLEM lies within the MAN.

Can't multitask.

Honey, you have no idea.

Don't remember the way we do.

I'd SCARE you if you knew how well I remember conversations with women.....I'll bring up single sentences from months ago.......

Have inverse priorities.

Your example does not apply to me. I don't drink beer, play with the stereo, or treat expensive furtniture carelessly (unless said furniture resembles a couch!)

Are a tad color-blind.

True. I don't see the need in distinguishing between infinite variations, FOR THE MOST PART.....but, hey, go to the AR forums and look at all the threads about upper/lower reciever colors not matching.....

Actually, it's just that we don't care about the color of the objects in question...because we don't care about the object itself.

Can't define the word irrational.

Don't make me go there. Let's just agree to disagree.

Posted: 8/19/2004 7:09:01 AM EDT

[#7]

To help get to the bottom of this, I figured there should be a mans opinion added to this.

The truth is that men:

Dilivery room- Dont know yet, as I am not married.

Can't multitask. -As a pilot, all I do is multitasking. We are capable of it, but for household junk you need to make a list and write it down.

Don't remember the way we do. -Praise God. The hoover dam and the brooklyn bridge would still be on the TO DO list.

Have inverse priorities. In Manland, it is utterly unreasonable of you to make such a fuss over the water ring his beer bottle left on the mahogany table that's been in your family for five generations. A crisis, my friend, is what happens if you change the settings on the stereo's graphic equalizer. -Well I will aggree with you there, he has to be just white trash. I just got my first real table and if one of my roommates gets a water ring on it...

Are a tad color-blind. -We are not color blind, the orientation and ergonomics of the interior furniture is not a big issue. The noise of you two babbling was just about to kill the poor guy.

Can't define the word irrational. -More married blither that I dont ~~know~~ care about yet. He should be more prepared with his retorts.

It's a trap that never fails to snare us, and the only escape is to look him in the eye and say, "This is just like that time three years ago when..." -For the sake of humor, let me finish

-I" lost my job, You Were There!"
-"I had that tractor accident, and woke up in the hospital. You Were There!"

A tired glazed look covers his face, "honey, YOU ARE BAD LUCK!"

Posted: 8/19/2004 7:26:15 AM EDT

[#8]

Skipping the delivery room thing, i'm still single...

Can't multitask. Sure I can, I do it all the time. Watch tv, eat dinner, carry on a conversation at the same time... that counts, right?

Don't remember the way we do. Like arowneragain I have a scary memory when it comes to this. I can bring up single sentences or statements made from months in the past. I get it from my dad, he does it too.

Have inverse priorities Well, seeing as my coffee table is an old subwoofer box, and my kitchen table has no chairs, and my desk is plastic, this whole water ring thing means nothing to me. My stereo has no graphic equalizer and if you can figure out how to change the settings on it, more power to you. When you say inverse priorities, it depends on your point of view. In your mind (the female mind) they may be inverse compared to your priorities, but in our mind, they are exactly where they should be.

Are a tad color-blind. I'd have to agree that there are only a handful of real colors, although only one is edible. As far as stuff not matching, if you were concerned over 2 different shades of red don't come to my apartment, your head will explode. 1 brown couch, 1 dark green couch, off white carpet, and the lexan (transparent) speaker box for a coffee table.

Can't define the word irrational I'm not married, or even in a relationship right now, so i'm not goin here either.

Posted: 8/19/2004 8:18:32 AM EDT

[#9]

Guys, it's a joke. No, it isn't 100% accurate, but it certainly describes certain moments very well. Not all men are the same, any more than all women are. Do I need to go jump inot a joke thread about women and correct it?

Posted: 8/19/2004 9:18:35 AM EDT

[#10]

Well, let's add one more thing to the list. Men have no sense of humor and they take things on the internet waaaay too seriously.

Also, some of them can not read and comprehend. The first sentence of my original post said this was from an article; I was not the authur of this. So just to set the record straight: My children's father was not in the delivery room when our children were born - I did not want him in there.

Can't multitask --I know some guys can and some women can't. However, the average guy can't. I have a friend who is lucky if he can walk and talk at the same time.

I realize there are pilots, surgeons etc who multitask and are, OMG, male!

Don't remember the way we do -- Again the average guy doesn't. I think this comes back to the selective hearing thing; guys also have selective amnesia.

Have inverse priorities -- this is true; males and females do not find the same things to be important. That is what keeps the world interesting.

A tad color blind - again, shades of color are not important to guys. They aren't to me either. I don't use any of the flowery color shades. There are primary and secondary colors and shades of light medium and dark to me.

Can't define irrational -- this is true. Guys manage to tick us off, intentionally I think, and then call us irrational. Well maybe that isn't accurate - most of you blame our irritability on PMS

.

And NO ONE traps anyone! If you are trapped it is because you allowed the other person to trap you.

Lighten up or stay away from the irrational women's forum!!!

Posted: 8/19/2004 10:24:42 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Guys, it's a joke. No, it isn't 100% accurate, but it certainly describes certain moments very well. Not all men are the same, any more than all women are. Do I need to go jump inot a joke thread about women and correct it?

I thought some of my answers were funny...

I was really serious about the one on how we don't listen. I am accused of not remembering things all the time.

Posted: 8/19/2004 10:47:41 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Guys, it's a joke. No, it isn't 100% accurate, but it certainly describes certain moments very well. Not all men are the same, any more than all women are. Do I need to go jump inot a joke thread about women and correct it?

I thought some of my answers were funny...

I was really serious about the one on how we don't listen. I am accused of not remembering things all the time.

Dunno if the ladies' comments were directed at me or not, but I was trying to be funny too. I've had the "what do you call THAT color??" conversation several times with various ladies, always to great amusement. I had hoped to get away with the comments about my beloved wife and figured they would be taken as tongue-in-cheek. It's no secret I worship her, and would never disparage her in any way. In our case, I never blame anything she does/says on PMS, now that I have the start of menopause to use.

The one huge drawback to the internet for discussions of this type is the loss of facial expression and voice inflection. The one-dimensional typed word is difficult to grasp, as to the intended meaning, at times. Oh well, speaking only for myself--I love and respect women, so anything I ever say on this board is never intended to be demeaning or "nasty" toward any of you--so please give me the benefit of the doubt.

Posted: 8/19/2004 10:54:18 AM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Guys, it's a joke. No, it isn't 100% accurate, but it certainly describes certain moments very well. Not all men are the same, any more than all women are. Do I need to go jump inot a joke thread about women and correct it?

I thought some of my answers were funny...

I was really serious about the one on how we don't listen. I am accused of not remembering things all the time.

Dunno if the ladies' comments were directed at me or not, but I was trying to be funny too. I've had the "what do you call THAT color??" conversation several times with various ladies, always to great amusement. I had hoped to get away with the comments about my beloved wife and figured they would be taken as tongue-in-cheek. It's no secret I worship her, and would never disparage her in any way. In our case, I never blame anything she does/says on PMS, now that I have the start of menopause to use.

The one huge drawback to the internet for discussions of this type is the loss of facial expression and voice inflection. The one-dimensional typed word is difficult to grasp, as to the intended meaning, at times. Oh well, speaking only for myself--I love and respect women, so anything I ever say on this board is never intended to be demeaning or "nasty" toward any of you--so please give me the benefit of the doubt.

Aww, I thought you guys were hurt by this, sorry.

As to the color thing, I am mildly color blind myself. I can put 2 things side by side and usually say whether or not they match, but I couldn't identify "cranberry" and "burgundy". My dad, on the other hand, was great with colors, but he repaired bath fixtures (including marble) for a living and had to match colors. You would not believe some of the freaky colors people make bath tubs in...

I also have a lousy memory since having kids. My hubby is the one who remembers things, not me.

As far as priorities, women and men are just opposite.

Posted: 8/19/2004 11:04:28 AM EDT

[#14]

I like Ogre's idea of colors--just a few and shades thereof. Frequently, I have to remind my wife to "not hate me for being a man." Men and women are simply different in ways other than the plumbing. We think differently, analyze things differently, and react differently. It's a good thing overall, and DOES NOT mean either is "better" or "inferior." Men are better at some things, and women at other things. Together we are strong and able to survive and function. Not to turn this into something overly serious, but I think too much is made of our differences, while not just accepting some things as "the way it is, and not gonna change." Example--if some dipstick pinched my wife's breast in public, I would be expected to stomp his behind--and would gladly oblige. BUT--don't condemn me the next day for being "insensitive." If you want "sensitive"--a completely alien concept which I do not grasp AT ALL--get a girlfriend. If you want things built, torn down, killed, destroyed, or solved--call me, I am at your service. I promise, if you don't ask me to understand the effects of hormones, I won't ask you to go fight a war. That reminds me--how come you ladies can blame everything on hormones, but then condemn us for "thinking with the little head"--which is hormonal too?? Gotcha!

Posted: 8/19/2004 11:07:42 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

Aww, I thought you guys were hurt by this, sorry.

I just hope that someday the hurt will go away

Ok I'm better now.

Posted: 8/19/2004 11:21:39 AM EDT

[#16]

Color blind?

I have failed every chromoptometer(sp) test I ever took.

Reds and greens are a mystery to me. The difference between Burgandy and Cranberry? Yeah, right.....Different shades of brown/grey to me.

I can't tell the difference between the colors of a green traffic light and a street light.

Posted: 8/19/2004 11:59:13 AM EDT

[#17]

Don't ask MRSbrf about my GRAY Shirt. We will arguee that one forever

Posted: 8/19/2004 5:22:26 PM EDT

[#18]

Of course that list only applies to str8 men.....and lesbians

Posted: 8/20/2004 5:31:48 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Of course that list only applies to str8 men.....and lesbians

Posted: 8/21/2004 8:22:32 PM EDT

[#20]

Lessee here:

Quoted:
Can't multitask.

No problem here. It got even easier to do when I became a parent.

Don't remember the way we do.

This one only works if both sets of brains are working. And I'm not the one who changes the SOP mid-stream.

Have inverse priorities

Well, you got me here. Viva la difference!

Are a tad color-blind.

No way. And the ears are even better than the eyes. Perhaps dragging your men to some art museums or symphony concerts could help?

Can't define the word irrational

I sure can define it. It's just that you will find my definition of irrational to be irrational.

It's a trap that never fails to snare us, and the only escape is to look him in the eye and say, "This is just like that time three years ago when..."

My favorite trap is "Do I look really fat in this?" It took a few years, but I learned to keep outta that one. :D

Posted: 8/21/2004 9:38:42 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
The truth is that men:

Can't multitask. Sure, you can do the laundry, bake a cake and make a few phone calls simultaneously. But giving a man instructions to do two or more things at the same time is the equivalent of wearing kryptonite lingerie on a date with Superman. The guy's just not going to be able to function.

Oh yeah, that's definitely me - I cannot multitask at all.

I can't even do it at work. My job is both research and teaching, but I do ALL my teaching in 21 days in the fall, so that I have the rest of the year for research. For me, it's all an "either-or" proposition.

When I'm focused on something, I can do it incredibly efficiently and effectively, but I cannot focus on mutliple things at once.

Posted: 8/22/2004 2:38:17 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Can't multitask.

"Sticks to the job at hand"

Don't remember the way we do.

"Remembers what is important."

Have inverse priorities

"Have different priorities."

Are a tad color-blind.

See above.

Can't define the word irrational

Can to, the dictionary says, "See HUMAN, FEMALE"

Posted: 8/22/2004 7:41:05 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Can't define the word irrational

Can to, the dictionary says, "See HUMAN, FEMALE"

Another wise ass male moderator hanging out here??

I'm starting to think that you guys are talking about us in your super secret moderator meetings.

Posted: 8/22/2004 11:12:11 AM EDT

[#24]

"multitasking" - you can do one (or a very few) thing(s) well or a whole bunch poorly. Which do you want?

colors - the definitive books on color have been largely authored by men (search "Johannes Itten" on Amazon) - there is a lot more to color than deciding what trim paint to use or (heaven forbid) what colors in wallpaper will accent a room (answer - NONE, it is going to look like wallpaper over drywall) and industrial designers (good ones, anyway) spend a lot of time choosing color for functionality - as for all this Trading Spaces nonsense - who decorates their houses in fabrics anyway except a Buddhist monk planning a self-immolation party?

Memory? we (guys) remember important stuff like cfm, muzzle velocity and how many cups of beer are in a half keg (165 1/3, 12 ouncers) while women fixate and obsess on things like birthdays, which we guys are routinely castrated for forgetting, yet villified for remembering how many birthdays a woman has had (gosh, you don't look 85!)

As for everything else, well, I'll just have to get back to that, but probably in a different forum since I vowed it would be two posts and out for me here and if tbk finds out about this thread it's draperies for this kid.

Posted: 8/22/2004 12:34:42 PM EDT

[#25]

I can NOT multitask. It annoys Gloftoe to no end, because I can't even fake it. I can do only one thing... if he calls me on the phone when I am watching TV, he knows. It's funny because if he asks me something when I'm in the middle of typing, I can look at him while I'm finishing typing and he'll see my lips moving and laugh at me because he knows I can't say something else until I'm done.

Same goes for singing and tapping my foot at the same time. I can pat my head and rub my belly, but it takes an awful lot of concentration!

Posted: 8/22/2004 12:44:22 PM EDT

[#26]

I thought I'd just stop by here while on my way to the fridge to get a beer. My wife told me to do something but I just don't remember. It was so long ago. This monring I think. Oh Yeah, I remember. I was suppose to pick up some colored flowery things when I go out. They all look the same to me though. I'll just get the cheapest so I can get some more ammo.

Posted: 8/22/2004 12:58:51 PM EDT

[#27]

didn't read the whole thread but A. thanks for reminding me to put my clothes in the dryer. and B. i can bring up conversations i had with my ex from 4-8 years ago. i remembered stuff that she didn't...and i remember things as they actually happened (reality). now, carry on.

Posted: 8/22/2004 10:03:13 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Lessee here:

Are a tad color-blind.

No way. And the ears are even better than the eyes. Perhaps dragging your men to some art museums or symphony concerts could help?

Um, no thanks--I'm eating broken glass that day. Passing it will be more fun than passing time in museums (Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago excluded) or <shudder> symphony concerts.

Posted: 8/22/2004 10:23:01 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
super secret moderator meetings.

I no longer attend the aforementioned super secret meetings and rarely venture outside of the Troubleshooting and WA forums. Even then I stick to the tech forums. I stopped in here because a XX member of ARF joined another list that I mod and from her description you gals have really down wonders with the place. Congrats.

Posted: 8/23/2004 9:12:32 AM EDT

[#30]

I'm glad that I don't fit those descriptions.

Posted: 8/27/2004 3:10:22 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:

So, do you find these to be true? You bet.

The truth is that men:

Can't multitask. Absolutely true. This is why police dispatchers are usually female. Men can concentrate very well, but only on the one task at hand. If your man is working intently on something, please leave him alone till he's done if at all possible. Multitasking just doesn't work for us.

Don't remember the way we do. We remember different things. We can remember what cam that guy Fred put in his camaro 7 years ago, but not what Aunt Marge said at dinner last week. Also, our brains don't remember birthdays that well. I had a female friend (not even a GF) that knew more of my families birthdays than I did.

Have inverse priorities. Ring on the coffe table? I'm not a big fan of screwed up coffe tables either, which is why I had a big rubber matt on my coffe table for quite a while. That was the greatest. Clean guns, spill food and drink, forget about coasters. The only way to fly.

Are a tad color-blind. red, green, yellow, blue, orange, brown, black. We see those colors just fine.

Can't define the word irrational. Ehh? is that like "logical" ?

Posted: 8/29/2004 3:05:29 PM EDT

[#32]

I think this sums it up nicely!!

Posted: 8/29/2004 3:17:20 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
I found this article amusing. So, do you find these to be true?

Mom left out the occasional salient but crazy-making truth about life with men. No problem, really: men themselves clue us in soon enough. Who else, after all, would have the audacity to look at us when we're eight months pregnant and confide that they're not sure they can handle being in the delivery room?

Be in the the delivery room? I was there for all of them, AND I DELIVERED THE LAST ONE! I'm damn proud of it, too.

The rest, unfortunately, are all true.

Remember the Alamo, and God Bless Texas...