So, the wife is gone for three weeks.

General » General Discussion

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - So, the wife is gone for three weeks. (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:28:15 PM EDT

Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:29:04 PM EDT

[#1]

Seems to me like it's going pretty well.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:29:26 PM EDT

[#2]

In before someone says she's getting the sausage from someone else

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:30:26 PM EDT

[#3]

Makes me glad my woman drinks and smokes.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:30:30 PM EDT

[#4]

Time to finally re-arrange the furniture the right way.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:30:35 PM EDT

[#5]

Sounds like it's going perfect.

Where'd she go??

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:30:38 PM EDT

[#6]

Don't sprain your wrist.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:35:44 PM EDT

[#7]

Long as you're not drinking Everclear and smokin' meth, you should be somewhat OK.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:37:03 PM EDT

[#8]

Don't forget to pick up all the beer bottles and puke before she gets back.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:45:17 PM EDT

[#9]

Where'd she go??

Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.

Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:46:20 PM EDT

[#10]

Sell the house and move! no forwarding addres.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:48:04 PM EDT

[#11]

Now is your chance..................new life, here you come.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:48:15 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:

Where'd she go??

Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.

Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?

Isn't that what the shotgun shells are for?

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:48:19 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:

Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?

I hear ya - the spousal unit and I just passed 37 years.....

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:48:29 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Sell the house and move! no forwarding addres.

That would suck.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:53:19 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

Where'd she go??

Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.

Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?

Isn't that what the shotgun shells are for?

HAhahahahah I remember that thread!

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:57:05 PM EDT

[#16]

Isn't that what the shotgun shells are for?

Yall just haven't had the type of hemmroids like I have, And one good thing about this PT Barnum and Baily spectacle is that the truth never gets in the way of a good story. I might hit up an old stoner friend for a joint though. Its been about 35 years or so.

Posted: 9/19/2009 1:57:35 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:

Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.

Using ARFCOM math...

if 5 hours = alcohol and tobacco (assuming your smoking cigs... that is)

then 3 weeks = dead under a mountain of hookers and blow... maybe a few dead geese hanging from the dresser drawer... but that is unverified. It is unknown if going Danish takes more than 3 weeks or not.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:01:29 PM EDT

[#18]

she's gonna find you passed out in your basement buried in beer cans and potato chips when she gets home isn't she?

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:03:05 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Seems to me like it's going pretty well.

Yeahhh...just make sure you don't get too hammered and run out of booze or cigs.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:05:00 PM EDT

[#20]

when can we come over?

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:05:02 PM EDT

[#21]

So......do you really live in Micronesia?

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:05:05 PM EDT

[#22]

No worrys! What you need to do is find yourself a project to keep your mind busy. If not that have fun with your wifes head when she comes back clean the house but rearrange everything. I mean everything. LOL! Have some fun.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:05:41 PM EDT

[#23]

I say clean the house up....paint that room that she's been wanting you to re-do, take up jogging and loose a few pounds for her. Lift some weights and start tightening up for her. Take the time to clean up your act, focusing on personal hygene and manners. Maybe get a good book or two to open up your mind and have new things to discuss with her. Impress her with your new worldly outlook. Take a french cooking class..............

.....................and there'a always just hookers and blow too.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:06:57 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.

Using ARFCOM math...

if 5 hours = alcohol and tobacco (assuming your smoking cigs... that is)

then 3 weeks = dead under a mountain of hookers and blow... maybe a few dead geese hanging from the dresser drawer... but that is unverified. It is unknown if going Danish takes more than 3 weeks or not.

I cannot believe I had to go this far into the thread before the first mention of "hookers and blow"!
As soon as I saw the title, it was the first thing that came to mind.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:08:09 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:

Where'd she go??

Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.

Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?

I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:11:19 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:

Where'd she go??

Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.

Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?

I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?

Not if you switch it up and get new wives every few years. Ask me how I know.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:14:15 PM EDT

[#27]

1. Alcohol

2. Smokes

3. Bacon

4. Fleshlight

5. ??????

6. Profit

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:15:58 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:

Where'd she go??

Germany

Don't sprain your wrist.

Shit. I'm 58. Like that's going to fucking happen. Been married 35 years. What's sex?

I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?

Not if you switch it up and get new wives every few years. Ask me how I know.

Eh. I have a daughter, I can't imagine letting someone else raise her.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:16:39 PM EDT

[#29]

So when's the party??!!

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:16:41 PM EDT

[#30]

Indoor target practice?

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:21:10 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
In before someone says she's getting the sausage from someone else

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:22:07 PM EDT

[#32]

Two Words:

Hookers
Blow

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:23:30 PM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Sell the house and move! no forwarding addres.

This is the correct answer for the path to freedom.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:26:24 PM EDT

[#34]

I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?

No, not really. But then I guess its like getting butt fucked nightly in jail - sort of get used to it and after thirty or so years its like a Mexican in Texas - ain't no big thing.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:28:43 PM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:

Quoted:
In before someone says she's getting the sausage from someone else

You know someone will say it. The longer this thread lasts, the chances of it happening increase exponentially!

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:31:09 PM EDT

[#36]

PARTY TIME!

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:31:22 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:

I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?

No, not really. But then I guess its like getting butt fucked nightly in jail - sort of get used to it and after thirty or so years its like a Mexican in Texas - ain't no big thing.

Uhhhh I don't think I could ever get used to that.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:33:02 PM EDT

[#38]

She's out partying.................So go out partying!

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:42:17 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.

So how long before you start missing her?

Woman wheres my sammich! And there is no sammich............

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:47:56 PM EDT

[#40]

OK OK You know she's getting the sausage from someone else.

There all is good in the universe that is ARFCOM.

And get a new avatar, that one's been taken.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:48:55 PM EDT

[#41]

IN on one!!!!!

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:49:48 PM EDT

[#42]

Fo.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:50:28 PM EDT

[#43]

^^^^^^^^^^
Shawn

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:51:17 PM EDT

[#44]

So how long before you start missing her?

Already do. Real quiet around here. God knows I married a hell of a lot better than she did.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:53:33 PM EDT

[#45]

How 'bout right before she gets back, put some of these up :

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:54:58 PM EDT

[#46]

IN before this happens!!!!: I need help in disposing of dead hookers and 1 kilo of blow!!!!!

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:59:05 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:

I've only been married for three years.

Is it really going to get worse?

No, not really. But then I guess its like getting butt fucked nightly in jail - sort of get used to it and after thirty or so years its like a Mexican in Texas - ain't no big thing.

Uhhhh I don't think I could ever get used to that.

I agree,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I cant ever get used to hearing spanish in TX.

Posted: 9/19/2009 2:59:54 PM EDT

[#48]

Posted: 9/19/2009 3:04:21 PM EDT

[#49]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Been five hours and I've already started drinking and smoking. I don't see this going well.

Using ARFCOM math...

if 5 hours = alcohol and tobacco (assuming your smoking cigs... that is)

then 3 weeks = dead under a mountain of hookers and blow... maybe a few dead geese hanging from the dresser drawer... but that is unverified. It is unknown if going Danish takes more than 3 weeks or not.

THIS!