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Posted: 2/6/2002 9:26:50 AM EDT
I went to a friend's house to have dinner. He and his girlfriend have been going through a bump in their relationship. He thought with me there, I could be a little bit of a cushion between them.
I get there for dinner and right off the bat I could tell that she was a little pissed. Dinner was really good, but the tension was unnerving. After dinner, I was ready to bail and get the hell out of there. He persuaded me to stay and have a drink. We went into the den and we start chatting about our guns.
He apologized for his girlfriend's behavior. He told me that she was mad because instead of talking about their problems, he had me over for dinner.
She came into the den and offered us more drinks. Free booze? Hell, yeah. We hung out for a little while and we were getting blitzed. She was trying to join in the conversation, but she didn't really know anything about guns. After awhile, she gave up and stormed out of the den and announced that she was going to bed.
Oh well. He's sleeping with her, not me. He wanted to hang out some more, so we put in "Heat" and sat back and relaxed with some more wine.
We were getting into the movie, when all of a sudden, there were loud knocks on the front door. We could hear, "Orange County Sheriffs, open the door!!!" He looks at me and I look at him. I'm asking him what the heck did you do? He asks me the same thing. Then he starts to put his "special" guns back into the safe as I went to the door. When he was finished putting all the guns back into the safe, I open the door to two big cops.
They brush past me and growls, "Where's Sara?"
My buddy says, "She's asleep. What's this all about?"
Both cops run over to the bedroom and try to open the door. It was locked. They started to yell out Sara's name and asking if she was alright. After a few seconds of screaming, the really big cop kicks the door down.
I'm trying to get a better view to see what was going on and the other cops yells at me to stay back. At this point, paramedics are running through the front door. I look out the window and a fire truck was pulling up to the house.
Well, it turns out that she was depressed and she called an ex-boyfriend. She talked to him  and said something that sounded to him as a suicide cry for help. He freaked out and called the cops. Fun night, huh?
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 9:36:51 AM EDT
[#1]
How nice that she finally got the attention she wanted.  Your friend might expect it to become a weekly occurrence.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 9:37:19 AM EDT
[#2]
AFTER assuring yourself they were law enforcment, locking up the specialty gear was smart.  Then, if they wanted to see what was inside, you could just say, get a warrant.  But if the stuff was in plain view, you can almost count on a seizure these days no matter what the problem.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 9:52:13 AM EDT
[#3]
Does she always call ex-boyfriends when they fight?

I would tell this guy to dump her flaked-out ass before she gets him into trouble.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 9:57:40 AM EDT
[#4]
I agree 100% with everything 71_Hour_Achmed, A_Free_Man and geezhound said.

I'd stay away from that house as long as she's there. Why invite trouble?
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 9:57:54 AM EDT
[#5]
Tell your friend to either move out or move her out just get her ass away from him. She will cause trouble and grief like you wont believe, I KNOW. THEN, if he still wants to be with her they gotta get her into counsiling for her "issues" and then some couples counseling for their "issues". Oh, and move the guns out of there YESTERDAY!
It's sad that today's plitical climate makes the innocent people the guilty ones right off the bat.
BrenLover
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 9:58:49 AM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
Does she always call ex-boyfriends when they fight?

I would tell this guy to dump her flaked-out ass before she gets him into trouble.
View Quote


I don't know. They've only been together for a few months. She's a really cool chick, though. This is the first time I've ever seen them fight.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 10:07:15 AM EDT
[#7]
Dump her and record all future contact with her.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 10:13:51 AM EDT
[#8]
If she will do this to start off with if she does not get here way, imagine what she will work up to. Tell him to GET AWAY! Easy pussy is only worth so much grief...

Women are like dog turds, older they get the easier they are to pick up. [;)]
BrenLover
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 10:17:05 AM EDT
[#9]
Your buddy needs to run-run-run-run away from that action. And get her some help. And then maybe have a few words with the ex about HIS actions.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 10:24:50 AM EDT
[#10]
[In my best Monty Python type voice]

Run away....Run away....Run away

This will only get worse (and I know what worse is these days mind you) until your buddy has an even bigger problem on his hands.

He should move this chick out pronto.

Link Posted: 2/6/2002 10:50:37 AM EDT
[#11]
Actually, I blame her dumbass ex. I think he totally overreacted. I still talk to a couple ex's about my problems, highs, lows, whatever.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 12:29:00 PM EDT
[#12]
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 12:34:40 PM EDT
[#13]

Its my opinion that ex's should stay ex's.
That means no contact at all.

How can anyone stay in contact with a person that they have been involved with emotionally and sexually and still have a healthy relationship with a new person?

I can understand if there is kids involved but that should be kept at a business type relationship only or its gonna cause problems.





Link Posted: 2/6/2002 12:35:40 PM EDT
[#14]
[b]RUN, FOREST! RUN![/B]

That girl has [i]issues[/i] and it will only get worse.

He should have listened, but WTF??

I thought you were going to say she turned you gun nuts into the cops.

Your buddy got lucky this time, won't be next time.

If they had thought this was a domestic, the guns would have been seized.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 12:53:17 PM EDT
[#15]
You and your friend both need to put the same thing between you two and this girl:

THE HORIZON!

Get the hell away from this powderkeg.  RUN, DO NOT WALK.  Same goes for your friend.  Especially it goes for him!   He's in a hot situation and you're too close as an involved bystander.


She needs to be given the boot, quickly, firmly, and irrevocably, particularly with the fact of the existence of guns in his house.    He could lose every one of them and MUCH, MUCH more if even the THOUGHT of domestic violence pops up in some cop's head.

Your friend should be thinking 'restraining order' as a precaution.   At the very least, he SHOULD get in touch with a lawyer, NOW.

Here's how domestic violence charges work:  The person who calls the police and makes allegations of domestic violence gets to stay at home and sleep in his or her own bed that night. The other party gets to sleep in a jail cell.  Every time, with or without evidence.   This is because taking someone to jail is a one page form, but it's a three page form to explain WHY the policeman didn't take someone to jail on a DV call.

Think of that great T-shirt that says "I am a bomb technician.  If you see me running, try to keep up."

CJ

Link Posted: 2/6/2002 3:57:45 PM EDT
[#16]
Quoted:
I dunno - not to play devil's advocate, but it sounds like possibly the buddy is a bit of an ass as well.

I mean, if I was having a rough time in my relationship and wanted to talk it out with my partner, it would kind of piss me off if she invited a friend over and then totally ignored me in order to get drunk, talk about stuff she knows I have zero interest in, and then watch a movie with a buddy.

"I was ready to bail and get the hell out of there. He persuaded me to stay" - sounds a little like using you to avoid talking to her.  That's kind of lame to me.

I also think it's pretty lame for her to call and ex to discuss relationship issues - but from her perspective, his behavior is kind of a slap in the face and clearly and deliberately ignoring her need to talk so he can get drunk and watch guy-movies.

Just another perspective.  
View Quote


I have to agree with you, DK. I should of went home when I had a chance and told my bud to talk things out with his lady. BUT, I still think the idiot ex is to blame for this. He totally overreacted. And people, she didn't call the cops, the moronic ex did. I don't think she's at fault at all.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 4:04:10 PM EDT
[#17]
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 5:28:03 PM EDT
[#18]
dipstick ex-boyfriend interested in getting back together w/her?

who knows what he might phone in next time.
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 8:01:27 PM EDT
[#19]
Good God.Thank Heaven I made my right hand my girl/cooch trap(TMI!)long ago!!!!!.life is rough enuff who needs twat traps to complicate things.I have a buddie who was going to get arrested on HER word alone for spousal abuse with no signs of ANY struggle/durress etc.He left slept at Hell Hole #9 went back in the morning an kicked her can out.......
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 9:36:34 PM EDT
[#20]
Hmmmm....I would have to say..MOVE HER THE F-OUT!

I have had a girl friend in the past that was an attention hound..and would pull crap like this when she was pissed at me.  It only gets worse.

However, your buddy should have probably not had you over for dinner, drinks, and a movie when she was pissed.  Talking may or may not have helped out..but you always have to at least try.

I would still move her out!

medcop
Link Posted: 2/6/2002 10:12:00 PM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
Actually, I blame her dumbass ex. I think he totally overreacted. I still talk to a couple ex's about my problems, highs, lows, whatever.
View Quote

Depends on what she told him.  Did she say, "Gawd, I may as well kill myself with one of my new boyfriend's machineguns!" or was it "He brought a friend over to watch some dumb movie!  I'm soooo pissed!"?

Important distinction there.

Was the "ex" trying to screw up their relationship or was he reacting rationally to whatever she said?  Your friend had better find out.  (I read through this thread three times and don't see it.)

Like Medcop, I had a girlfriend who pulled that sort of crap (never calling the cops, just playing "I'm gonna kill myself" on a regular basis).  It got old real fast.  If it'd been 2002 instead of 1984, chances are I'd have a couple of DV felonies on my rap sheet from trying to "save her from herself" -- her threatening to jump off a roof, threatening to throw herself into traffic, crap like that.  But no matter, by the end I would've gladly helped her jump. . . .  So maybe my past experience is coloring how I read what you wrote.

Anyway, I wish him luck.  If she's anything like the one I dated, he'll need a hell of a lot of it.
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