Heres what I've gotten off the wire:
(AP)At approximately 9:08PM residents of Southern California were suddenly jarred from thier thoughts of world socialism in what experts describe as "one hell of large ass". Sources say that Actress/Comedian/Dumbass Rosie O'Donnell made an appearence at Jabars Quickie Stop for the monthly tossing of expired Drakes Cakes.
Proprieter Ali Bahat Kamkar Salat Mohammed Smith stated "I tell her, no Drakie Cake, all bad, go in garbage." Apparently the words were not music to the washed up starlett. Smith continued, "She go crazy, start tossing cheese and nachos, punched me in mouth, unbuttoned pants."
Apparently witnesses say, Rosie in her fit of rage knocked over the slushy machine and proceeded to slip and fall causing several injuries to horrified onlookers.
Witness to the rampage Lamar Johnson, "I was like daaaaaaamn bitch, hold up, yous a crazy motherf'er!"
Police Officer Lawson, "We taped off the area where the incident took place, the destruction is horrible, somehow most of the evidence was apparently 'licked up' by the suspect, but the property damage in the surrounding communities is devastating."
According to geological experts, the incident scaled a 4.2. "Certainly not as bad when the last time she fell in the shower though, I remember people were trapped down there" Dr. Stubben commented.
[chainsawkill] Man I'm tired [:)]