Today has been full of suck...  To the point that I just got back from buying a tin of Skoal and a pack of Marlboro reds...  I had quit both for about a month now...

I demand jokes and funny pictures...

Edited pending staff clarification-joker581

First I was like

Then I was like

But then I was like ... again

Dude, the day is only 4 and a half hours old, how could it suck so bad?

Ok smartass..  YESTERDAY.

Haven't gone to bed yet...

That is the goddamn funniest thing I have seen in a while. I am LOL @ work in front of about 30 women right now.

however bad it gets today, fear not, for tomorrow will likely be worse

only funny if you laugh at "smart" cars

Ok fuck it..

So many things went wrong yesterday that I don't feel like laying out for the entire internet to read but it has to do with my immediate family, extended family health issues, a girl, my dog, and college.

To top it off.. today after a less than stellar day I go to leave said girls college after hanging out till 3am'ish in the student union area.  I throw my riding jacket on and walk her back to her dorm.  I then make my way to the parking lot.  Where is my bike?  I could have swore it was..wtf...  My fucking 2000 SV650s is laying on the fucking pavement!

I guarantee some frathouse jock faggot tried sitting on the fucking thing, having no clue wtf he was doing, no fucking respect for my property, a bike I worked damn near all summer to pay off busting my fucking ass, trying to look all fresh for some fucking piece of ass he's trying to score, lost his balance like the stupid fucking cocksucker he is and dropped the fucking thing down on it's side.

I just put brand new fucking fairings on the god damned thing too..  Brand new fucking fairings.  Thank god the damage was minimal, just a fucked up blinker and a nice crack right on the outside corner of the right headlight.  I'm pretty sure my muffler has a nice new dent in it that wasn't there 24 hours ago.

God, what the fuck posses people to do this shit?  Did I do a fucking hood slide on your car just because it looks like fun?  No fuckin' way would I do that.  So why the fuck would you nut fuck my bike without my permission you immature worthless sack of shit!?

Punch me in the face for all I give a fuck but don't fuck with my fuckin bike asshole!!

I guess every cake needs icing..

Welcome to owning a bike.



A pic of mine, to make you feel better.







 

Does it come with a built in chair back massager and cup holders.

Nice bike.  My uncle owns the same bike.  He offered to let me ride it but I said no way in hell could my short, scrawny ass safely control that much bike at low speeds/stopping.

Funny

You might be surprised.  They center of gravity is pretty low, as long as you don't let it get over it you're fine.





It doesn't come with a cup holder, but that's an option.





Back massager?




 

Are you shitting me?    "K I'll be ready in a minute, just let me quick slam this beer and then we ca....wait a minute.."

Yea I probably would have been OK but I'm a new rider and he's more proud of his bike than I am mine which is quite the accomplishment.  I would have felt like a real asshole calling him asking for a hand picking it up off the street...

I've also never ridden a bigger cruiser like that.  The closest I've come is my dad's Sportster.

Fuuuck..

Nvm that icing on the cake.  I just randomly hiccuped and threw up chocolate milk all over my new t-shirt.

http://www.harley-davidson.com/gma/gma_product.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524448767788&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374309149290&ASSORTMENT%3C%3East_id=2534374309149290&bmUID=1241174336771&bmLocale=en_US



Not sure if that is going to work.



As for the "let me slam this beer"  Here is food for thought:



Wisconsin has a law against Open intoxicants IN a motor vehicle.  Not ON a motor vehicle.



Not that I'd want to try and challenge that (not that I would anyhow, since I don't drink)



 

$74 for a cup holder? I know Harley is in financial trouble, but come on, $74?

One night an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old
husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing
him off the balcony of their 20th floor 'assisted living apartment, killing
him instantly.

Brought before the court on charge of murder the judge asked her if she had
anything to say in her defense.

She began coolly 'Yes your honor I figured that at 92 if he could fuck ..
he could fly.'

Warning! this should be CoC compliant, but if you're under the age of 18, please don't proceed to scroll down.

You ain't seen nuthin' yet, bro....



http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/

It's a bottle holder man!



Oh, and HD stands for Hundred Dollars, because everything costs a hundred dollars.