Probably not what you think. Two questions.

First my yard; I have Bermuda grass, and right now it's mostly weeds. It also appears the sod they put down was horrible, seems to be a lot of sand and clay. 2 years ago the front was pretty good, but I got a few bald spots now. Just coming out of winter here the weeds are starting to pop up. Whats the best things to A. Kill the weeds and B. Make the grass thicker and cover the bald spots. Should I do a weed/feed type fertilizer then do seeds?  

Second question is, I have a "Miracle Tree" (Google it). The tips of the leaves are all brown, I'm not sure if it's being over watered, or under watered, it's not doing to good. It's also by a window but I'm not sure if it's getting enough sunlight, what's the best type of grow lamp for something like that?

Grass as in weed?

heat lamps!

Well I'm guessing you didn't read any of the actually post just the title? I was hoping out of the 1000s of people that visit this site someone would be a yard expert.

What makes the grass grow?

Hire a service, I use Chem Lawn. My grass is Bermuda and it looks like carpet.

i always just fertilize and mow. bermuda can spread like a weed and compete when very healthy.

Zoysia

ZOYSIA

I saw that in a magazine and I figured it was just a scam. Only 19.95 for 75 plugs!

Does it actually work well?

Well if I had the money to do that, I wouldn't mow even though I'm allergic to grass.

If you have bald spots it maybe fungus, but the rest should be green to tell. I use dry fertilizer kit for a season from the local supplier. Chemlawn sucks because the grass looked like shit during the tree years application and for the season chems cost me $160 versus over $500 Chemlawn

I'm no expert but usually always have a nice yard.  First and foremost, you can't grow new grass while treating weeds.  It's one, then the other.  The 'weed killer' in weed and feed will burn grass seed and not allow it to sprout and grow.  The recommended wait time from killing weeds to sowing grass is usually 6-8weeks.  I'd kill all the weeds first with a 2-4D type mixure (Scott's Weed and Feed, etc.).  You may even want to take a yard sprayer and mix up some spray and spray them directly.  Once all the weeds are gone (may take a few treatments), I would use some straight ammonium nitrate (31-0-0), agriculture lime and gypsum to get the existing grass to grow and assist in sprouting the seedlings once sown(Scotts Starter Fertilizer is a good alternative to this).  If you live in a place where warm season grasses grow best, I'd read the grass seed bag to see when they recommend sowing it.  Usually, this is early spring and early fall (60-80 degrees).  Zoysia and Bermuda grasses are two that flourish in warmer climates.  Zoysia is beautiful once established.  

Good luck.  It's a PITA and takes a while but very well worth it in the end.  

ETA:  Gypsum is a soil softener.  It works well where the soil is compacted and you need to grow need grass.  It also aids in absorbing ammonia left by pet urine.  

Can't help but think "Why?"

I have a decently-sized yard in a middle-class white neighborhood, where about 75% of the people take pride in their lawns.  I've even seen the twits out trimming around their trees with scissors.  What's more, I've now gotten a THIRD doorknob advertisement for Scott's Lawn Care for fertilizer.  Why in the hell would I want that crap to grow even faster?  I hate cutting it as is.



Popped my cherry on this post.  Hooray.

Here's what I'm going to do with my first house:

(1)Remove grass
(2)Plant shit that looks nice and actually grows without work

Wildflowers, "weeds", etc. Some people around here have this very nice vine looking leafy plant that has nice purple flowers. Grows in large mats.
Fuck grass. Too much maintenance. You can get a nice big thing of local wildflower seed. Cut once a year at the end of the season to reseed.

That plus a lot of planters and landscaping anyway. Grass is stupid.

Get a book on such things, and get rid of that ugly invasive plant.

Here's my reason.
My sod is mostly, well sand, and when the grass starts to get thin, it's eroded by weather. Eventually I'll have holes in my yard, and unevenness due to erosion if I can't keep the grass alive. I have a pretty small yard and it takes me about 45 minutes to do the front and back, including edging, doing that twice a month isn't a big deal. The thicker grass you have, the less likely weeds will be able to grow.

RE: Miracle Tree - sounds pretty neat. I'll have to get some seeds and try it as a houseplant. The browning at the leaf tips could be from a few things.

High salts is the first thing I would suspect. If this is the problem you may also see whitish stuff on the potting media surface when it is dry. To cure, take outside or put in a sink and flush well with water.

Cheapest growlight system is a flourescent and an incandescent together. This will give you the full range of light spectrum.

Now why would i do that this is GD...

The only way to get grass to grow is to pour concrete or pave the area. Then grass will grow right through it.

Otherwise, gorget about it.

Blood, Blood,Blood

Same situation as the OP except I'm growing Kentucky Fescue. I sowed my seeds first with a drop spreader, about a week ago. Then I noticed all the weeds. I went back to Home Depot to get weed/feed when a very helpfull woman advised me against it. She suggested Scotts Start fertilizer, 24-0-0 (I think) the nitrogen gets the grass going. She said cut the grass three times, about four inches tall and then apply the weed/feed. She said the grass root system is as deep as the grass is tall so cut it kind of tall the first three times.

Yep, plugs take a while to grow , maybe 3 years . At least thats how long it took here in northern Virginia. once it fully came in it looked good,.

Never cut more than a third of the grass blade. Mulch .....dont bag. I sharpen my mower bladed everytime I mow, a dull blade starts and spreads disease. Never water after the sun goes down, standing water not in direct sunlight will cause fungus.

First, take loose topsoil and fill ln the bare areas.  This gives the bermuda a loose base that it can grow into.  

Then, skip the Lowes-Home depot generic, crap fertilizers and go to a chemical supply company.  Ask for Ronstar pre-emerg on a fertilizer carrier. Ronstar does not inhibit root growth like other pre emergents.  Make sure to measure and see how much area you need to cover before you go and they can tell you exactly how much you will need.  It's a liitle late for the pre-emerge but better to get it down now. You want to get on a program of pre-emerging every three months.  

While you are at the Chemical supply, ask about a selective weed killer.  They will know what is best in your area.  2,4-D based weedkillers are fairly inexpensive and effective on most broadleaf weeds.

Finally raise your mowing height.  Cutting low gives weeds a greater chance to germinate as well as putting extra stress on the plant itself(water needs, carb. production, etc)

This

get some compost and some native plants. - check for your local ag extension service for native info.

Bald spots can also be caused by grubs.

Whatever you do, if you plant seed, water it like crazy.  I failed to grow grass several times until I realized I wasn't watering it enough.  For 3 weeks, I'll water it 3x a day for an hour.

And what do we do for a living ladies?

KILL KILL KILL!!!!!!!!!