We are very easy, I know I am. If you break it down for her Barney Stlye, how can she still complain? Please enlighten me. No jokes,please only real points of view. Thank you.


Also I would like to shout out the Marine who took me where I am today.

nevermind.

Jealousy

OK. Who else are they gonna blame? The cat?

Blame males for what?

Quoted: We are very easy, I know I am. If you break it down for her Barney Stlye, how can she still complain? Please enlighten me. No jokes,please only real points of view. Thank you. Also I would like to shout out the Marine who took me where I am today.

Women are incapable of taking responsibility for their own fuck ups so they blame guys. I had a woman tell me  one time, If she had done something wrong and thought her husband would get mad she would start a fight first about something completely different to take the light off her. Women don't like to admit to affairs, lying, cheating, stealing, bad driving, bad cooking, bad mothering etc. And as you see in the news it's always the guys fault.

During a job interview one time the female interviewer asked me if I had a temper and if so did I ever display it in the work place. I asked her if she asks women the same question pertaining to their behavior while on their periods? She didn't see the relevance. In today's society men are not allowed to show anger but women can and when they do it is blamed on the man because he caused her to become angry.

victim syndrome

They do it because men let them get away with it...plus they are very good at changing the subject and shifting the focus from them to you.


For example if you girlfriend/wife backs into something with her car it's your fault because you wouldn't let her take your truck and her car was too hard to back out which is why she hit something.  Isn't that great logic.

That type of skill is something that is passed down because every single girl I have dated has been able to do that without even pausing.  They screw up, you start to confront them, 10 seconds later she is yelling at you, giving you the cold shoulder, and saying "you must not love me anymore"...when the whole conversation started about something they did.  

The bottom line is it doesn't matter why, that's just how they are, so deal with it.

I totally agree with this point.

Its easy to blame others for your downfalls.

Quoted: OK. Who else are they gonna blame? The cat?

What the hell did I do?????







If you men would just learn to nod yes and leave things alone, we wouldn't have to blame you for messing everything up.




j/k

This shit just started about 20 years ago.....
It used to NOT be like this. I have no Idea why it started,but I see a trend that everyone blames everyone but who "did it".....

It's NOT just the wominz..

Quoted: This shit just started about 20 years ago..... It used to NOT be like this. I have no Idea why it started,but I see a trend that everyone blames everyone but who "did it"..... It's NOT just the wominz..

+1. It is called personal responsibility and no one wants to take it because it is a hard pill to swallow.

I used work with a bunch of guys. They were bigger babies that any group of women I have ever known, mostly because I think a lot of them "settled" and are disappointed with where they were in life, but didn't have the balls to get up and actually work for a living. When they would get going really good, they would look around and find a bottle of Midol sitting on the counter. Usually shut them up, at least for a day or two. Then the hormones would take over again . . .  

Because we are handy.

Quoted: Blame males for what?

EVERYTHING!!!

(Just ask my wife!)  

The best approach to the kind of woman who manipulates the situation to turn her fuck up in to, somehow, your problem is psychology.

Guys have a disadvantage right from the start. A lack of desire/endurance to participate in nonsense head games. This allows a woman who is prone to such things win by attrition when turning the tables. Guys just give up and let it happen. This becomes a pattern and then a way of life.

To allow this method women use to sneak in and become the norm is a huge mistake. You'll be the loser every time. The reality is that you are not the loser everytime, but you're accepting that role.

The solution is a consistent calm, rational approach. When logic is being shot in to the sun, your only concern should be reeling logic back in to the mix.

Women, don't get offended at this example...it is for illustrative purposes ONLY...ok?

It's like when you're training a pet to NOT do something...like destroy shoes lets say. If every time your puppy dragged a shoe out in to the living room you immediately got up, took the shoe away, said "No!" and gave it a little smack on the ass...that behavior would come to a stop. If, on the other hand, when the puppy was dragging yet another shoe out in to the living room to chew on it and you just gave up...were too tired...just too broken by this repetative behavior to do anything about it, the dog would continue doing this shit because its repetition beat you. You gave up.

If a woman is pulling this "I fucked up, but rather than taking responsibility, I'm going to create an even larger problem YOU need to address to take the spot light off of MY irresponsibility"....you need a calm, consistent response.  

Let her say whatever she wants. Get it all out honey. Vent away. Then, tell her you'd like to speak, and for her to please listen. If what she's said is a deferral of responsibility...some reversal head game....the insertion of stated logic and rational thought should be more than sufficient to bring around any reasonable woman back in to the fold. If rational thought and logic is insufficient...repeatedly...then you have problems. Women need to vent..often irrationally. That might not change in your world. What should change is the end result of your communication with her. Ultimately the responsible take on their own responsibilities. Man or woman. Let them vent, but don't give in if you are being made the scapegoat. And....always STAY CALM. There are few things that can torpedo the best ideas and approaches as the perception of anger. Rational thought and logic don't work if those ideas, no matter how good, are delivered in anger.

Stay calm, stay rational and demand EVERYONE in the relationship step up to take responsibility when appropriate. Don't be the lackey now, or that's what you'll be for the rest of your life.

Quoted: Its easy to blame others for your downfalls.

It's human nature to not (want to) take responsibility for one's own actions.

Quoted: The best approach to the kind of woman who manipulates the situation to turn her fuck up in to, somehow, your problem is psychology. Guys have a disadvantage right from the start. A lack of desire/endurance to participate in nonsense head games. This allows a woman who is prone to such things win by attrition when turning the tables. Guys just give up and let it happen. This becomes a pattern and then a way of life. To allow this method women use to sneak in and become the norm is a huge mistake. You'll be the loser every time. The reality is that you are not the loser everytime, but you're accepting that role. The solution is a consistent calm, rational approach. When logic is being shot in to the sun, your only concern should be reeling logic back in to the mix. Women, don't get offended at this example...it is for illustrative purposes ONLY...ok? It's like when you're training a pet to NOT do something...like destroy shoes lets say. If every time your puppy dragged a shoe out in to the living room you immediately got up, took the shoe away, said "No!" and gave it a little smack on the ass...that behavior would come to a stop. If, on the other hand, when the puppy was dragging yet another shoe out in to the living room to chew on it and you just gave up...were too tired...just too broken by this repetative behavior to do anything about it, the dog would continue doing this shit because its repetition beat you. You gave up. If a woman is pulling this "I fucked up, but rather than taking responsibility, I'm going to create an even larger problem YOU need to address to take the spot light off of MY irresponsibility"....you need a calm, consistent response.   Let her say whatever she wants. Get it all out honey. Vent away. Then, tell her you'd like to speak, and for her to please listen. If what she's said is a deferral of responsibility...some reversal head game....the insertion of stated logic and rational thought should be more than sufficient to bring around any reasonable woman back in to the fold. If rational thought and logic is insufficient...repeatedly...then you have problems. Women need to vent..often irrationally. That might not change in your world. What should change is the end result of your communication with her. Ultimately the responsible take on their own responsibilities. Man or woman. Let them vent, but don't give in if you are being made the scapegoat. And....always STAY CALM. There are few things that can torpedo the best ideas and approaches as the perception of anger. Rational thought and logic don't work if those ideas, no matter how good, are delivered in anger. Stay calm, stay rational and demand EVERYONE in the relationship step up to take responsibility when appropriate. Don't be the lackey now, or that's what you'll be for the rest of your life.

This works, but the downside of it is, it leads to divorce court.  Ask me how I know.  Women can't stand not to fight over something trivial.  

This is a really interesting topic

Cause it's usually our fault?

Gee, another thread generalizing women (or WOMAN as the OP posted).

Why am I not surprised?

..

This editless page 2 pwn3ge is the fault of a man.

Quoted: We are very easy, I know I am. If you break it down for her Barney Stlye, how can she still complain? Please enlighten me. No jokes,please only real points of view. Thank you. Also I would like to shout out the Marine who took me where I am today.

I don't know what gender your high school grammar teacher was but I've decided that person deserves the blame for your horribly worded and stupidly generalized thread title.

Quoted: Jealousy

Still the best answer.

Quoted: Because the next time the give us nookie, we are smart/dumb enough to forget and move on.

And allowing "nookie" to be used as relationship currency is another huge mistake.

Quoted: The best approach to the kind of woman who manipulates the situation to turn her fuck up in to, somehow, your problem is psychology. Guys have a disadvantage right from the start. A lack of desire/endurance to participate in nonsense head games. This allows a woman who is prone to such things win by attrition when turning the tables. Guys just give up and let it happen. This becomes a pattern and then a way of life. To allow this method women use to sneak in and become the norm is a huge mistake. You'll be the loser every time. The reality is that you are not the loser everytime, but you're accepting that role. The solution is a consistent calm, rational approach. When logic is being shot in to the sun, your only concern should be reeling logic back in to the mix. Women, don't get offended at this example...it is for illustrative purposes ONLY...ok? It's like when you're training a pet to NOT do something...like destroy shoes lets say. If every time your puppy dragged a shoe out in to the living room you immediately got up, took the shoe away, said "No!" and gave it a little smack on the ass...that behavior would come to a stop. If, on the other hand, when the puppy was dragging yet another shoe out in to the living room to chew on it and you just gave up...were too tired...just too broken by this repetative behavior to do anything about it, the dog would continue doing this shit because its repetition beat you. You gave up. If a woman is pulling this "I fucked up, but rather than taking responsibility, I'm going to create an even larger problem YOU need to address to take the spot light off of MY irresponsibility"....you need a calm, consistent response.   Let her say whatever she wants. Get it all out honey. Vent away. Then, tell her you'd like to speak, and for her to please listen. If what she's said is a deferral of responsibility...some reversal head game....the insertion of stated logic and rational thought should be more than sufficient to bring around any reasonable woman back in to the fold. If rational thought and logic is insufficient...repeatedly...then you have problems. Women need to vent..often irrationally. That might not change in your world. What should change is the end result of your communication with her. Ultimately the responsible take on their own responsibilities. Man or woman. Let them vent, but don't give in if you are being made the scapegoat. And....always STAY CALM. There are few things that can torpedo the best ideas and approaches as the perception of anger. Rational thought and logic don't work if those ideas, no matter how good, are delivered in anger. Stay calm, stay rational and demand EVERYONE in the relationship step up to take responsibility when appropriate. Don't be the lackey now, or that's what you'll be for the rest of your life.

Scott, is that you??

Quoted: Quoted: We are very easy, I know I am. If you break it down for her Barney Stlye, how can she still complain? Please enlighten me. No jokes,please only real points of view. Thank you. Also I would like to shout out the Marine who took me where I am today. I don't know what gender your high school grammar teacher was but I've decided that person deserves the blame for your horribly worded and stupidly generalized thread title.

You mean to tell me, you've never ever ever blamed your hubby or any other guy for a small mistake you made and then never owned up to it?  Or hell, just made a mistake that was your fault?

Come on now, no one likes a liar.

Quoted: Gee, another thread generalizing women (or WOMAN as the OP posted). Why am I not surprised?

Because, at 30... so far EVERY, and I mean EVERY woman I have every met has done exactly the same thing.

Quoted: Quoted: Gee, another thread generalizing women (or WOMAN as the OP posted). Why am I not surprised? Because, at 30... so far EVERY, and I mean EVERY woman I have every met has done exactly the same thing.

Dude, you are hanging out with the wrong people!!

Quoted: Quoted: OK. Who else are they gonna blame? The cat? What the hell did I do????? If you men would just learn to nod yes and leave things alone, we wouldn't have to blame you for messing everything up. j/k

LOL!  Answers like that are one reason why we love you, Catsclaw.

Frankly, I've known just as many men who couldn't handle responsibility as women who have the same problem.  I don't see it as gender linked.

Having said that, I recognize that many women so try to manipulate their man through blame.  Some men do it as well.

In my own marriage I had a problem with this several years back.  I was walking on eggshells around my wife.  For totally random reasons she would have complete emotional breakdowns.  It was a downward spiral.  Once she started getting emotional I would try to comfort her, only to be told that she was upset at me for any number of random reasons (90% of them the creation of her own mind)  and she just, "can't keep it all inside anymore."  So I'd have to sit there and let her list my every perceived flaw for an hour or more so she could, "get it all out."  Two to three days later the pattern would repeat itself.

I finally decided to bring an end to this destructive behavior.  When she started having another random emotional breakdown I simply told her that I loved her and then excused myself to go for a drive.  Before going out the door I always told her that I would be back when she was in control of herself again.  I'd come back to find her sulking, but in control.  The problem completely ended in just a week or two.

Interestingly, our relationship has been significantly stronger since then.

just...wow

I learn something new here every day.

Now I know why my Ex would start fights all the time. Cause she was trying to cover up her own evil plots.

Quoted: You mean to tell me, you've never ever ever blamed your hubby or any other guy for a small mistake you made and then never owned up to it?  Or hell, just made a mistake that was your fault? Come on now, no one likes a liar.

Nope. I take credit for my own mistakes: they're the only things you can truly call your own.

I've actually allowed the hubby to blame me:

When we first built this house, the landscaping was not yet done. It was mid winter when we moved in and the landscaping wouldn't be done until May.
Sometime in April, the hubby decides to move the firewood to the other side of the yard in his 2 wheel drive pickup. I tell him not to....that the ground was too marshy and he'd get stuck. Did he listen? No. Seconds later, truck was stuck.
So he calls the tow truck company and tells them *I* did it.

Truck shows up and the guy (upon seeing the stuck pick up)  says, "women!"
Hubby says, "Tell me about it."

He paid for that, trust me....

Quoted: <SNIP> Truck shows up and the guy (upon seeing the stuck pick up)  says, "women!" Hubby says, "Tell me about it." He paid for that, trust me....

Wow!  I should hope he paid for that.

Quoted: ............Let her say whatever she wants. Get it all out honey. Vent away. Then, tell her you'd like to speak, and for her to please listen. If what she's said is a deferral of responsibility...some reversal head game....the insertion of stated logic and rational thought should be more than sufficient to bring around any reasonable woman back in to the fold. If rational thought and logic is insufficient...repeatedly...then you have problems. Women need to vent..often irrationally. That might not change in your world. What should change is the end result of your communication with her. Ultimately the responsible take on their own responsibilities. Man or woman. Let them vent, but don't give in if you are being made the scapegoat. And....always STAY CALM. There are few things that can torpedo the best ideas and approaches as the perception of anger. Rational thought and logic don't work if those ideas, no matter how good, are delivered in anger. ......................

Sounds good on paper, but you forgot one thing. They don't want to hear what YOU think. They want to hear what THEY think in a deep voice.

Quoted: Quoted: ............Let her say whatever she wants. Get it all out honey. Vent away. Then, tell her you'd like to speak, and for her to please listen. If what she's said is a deferral of responsibility...some reversal head game....the insertion of stated logic and rational thought should be more than sufficient to bring around any reasonable woman back in to the fold. If rational thought and logic is insufficient...repeatedly...then you have problems. Women need to vent..often irrationally. That might not change in your world. What should change is the end result of your communication with her. Ultimately the responsible take on their own responsibilities. Man or woman. Let them vent, but don't give in if you are being made the scapegoat. And....always STAY CALM. There are few things that can torpedo the best ideas and approaches as the perception of anger. Rational thought and logic don't work if those ideas, no matter how good, are delivered in anger. ...................... Sounds good on paper, but you forgot one thing. They don't want to hear what YOU think. They want to hear what THEY think in a deep voice.

I wouldn't spend 5 minutes in a relationship once I discovered the person I was with had no interest in my thoughts.

I suppose that's why the method I posted has worked.

Quoted: Quoted: You mean to tell me, you've never ever ever blamed your hubby or any other guy for a small mistake you made and then never owned up to it?  Or hell, just made a mistake that was your fault? Come on now, no one likes a liar. Nope. I take credit for my own mistakes: they're the only things you can truly call your own. I've actually allowed the hubby to blame me: When we first built this house, the landscaping was not yet done. It was mid winter when we moved in and the landscaping wouldn't be done until May. Sometime in April, the hubby decides to move the firewood to the other side of the yard in his 2 wheel drive pickup. I tell him not to....that the ground was too marshy and he'd get stuck. Did he listen? No. Seconds later, truck was stuck. So he calls the tow truck company and tells them *I* did it. Truck shows up and the guy (upon seeing the stuck pick up)  says, "women!" Hubby says, "Tell me about it." He paid for that, trust me....

Women play games.

Men play games.

People play the games they're good at.

For every woman that likes to mind-fuck her man, I'm sure you could find a guy that likes to slap his woman around.

Women don't suck.

Men don't suck.

People suck.

Life sucks.

Get a helmet. (Thank you, Mr. Leary.)

Quoted: They do it because men let them get away with it...plus they are very good at changing the subject and shifting the focus from them to you. For example if you girlfriend/wife backs into something with her car it's your fault because you wouldn't let her take your truck and her car was too hard to back out which is why she hit something.  Isn't that great logic. That type of skill is something that is passed down because every single girl I have dated has been able to do that without even pausing.  They screw up, you start to confront them, 10 seconds later she is yelling at you, giving you the cold shoulder, and saying "you must not love me anymore"...when the whole conversation started about something they did.   The bottom line is it doesn't matter why, that's just how they are, so deal with it.

Do not let them get away with it. Women have stopped trying with me because I do not take their shit. They try to shift the topic so they can get away with it and I shift it right back.
Equal rights all the way baby!

Many women who cheat on their husband/boyfriend or want to cheat on them will convince themselves that the husband/boyfriend has done something to deserve being cheated on. They can be the greatest, most caring man in the world, and by the time that crazy bitch is done convincing herself that he is the most evil piece of scum on earth he's already had half his shit stolen, his chest hair ripped out, his house/apartment set on fire, and oh yeah, she gave him VD from the other guy.

Women simply cannot take responsibility for their actions and will do anything and everything to shift the blame to someone else.

For the women on Arfcom, if you do not believe this applies to you, then I don't need to hear it. I am obviously not speaking about you if you are not like this.

 I broke my wife off that stuff during a remodel. She kept asking me what I thought we should do. I told her it was her baby and I wanted it to be just the way she wanted it so just tell the contractor what you want.
 She was like "Aren't you going to help me decide?" I told her "I can't do that because if I do and you don't like it, you will say I talked you into the way it was done and I don't want that. You just tell the contractor what you want". She was freaked out.
 Later when it wasn't how she wanted it she blamed me saying I wouldn't help her decide what to do. Then I did help her and although the changes cost a little more that was the last time she pulled the "It's your fault" BS.

It’s instinctual for woman to deceive. In caveman days. Brute force and physical abilities meant survival. Women lacking that had to use other means to survive

Possibly because her father may have not let her know she was worth anything, worth caring for or fighting for.  So she went to you for validation that she was worth it and didn't receive what she was looking for.

Or.....

MENstration
MENopause
HIStorectomy


of course we can always blame them for...
HERpes.......

Quoted: It’s instinctual for woman to deceive. In caveman days. Brute force and physical abilities meant survival. Women lacking that had to use other means to survive

There is much truth to the *second* part of your assertion.

However I strongly contend that manipulation and deception are *learned* as compared to 'instinctive' behaviors.

Salmon swim upstream and birds migrate from instinct.  That behavioral pattern in hardwired and inborn as compared to aquired (taught) knowledge.

For thousands of generations, parents *taught* daughters to manipulate and decieve, whether conciously or subconciously relaying and implanting that behavior.

On the other hand, sons were taught to 'man up' and 'take the bull by the horns' when it comes to responsibility, and to speak forthrightly.

My late mother was an executive assistant back during the 1950s, the heyday of classical American gender-typed employment when that was the absolute summit of a career woman's opportunities.  She could make or break a business deal by subtly lifting one eyebrow.  She never spoke up in a business meeting, but she definitely had her input in effective ways.

Nowadays, we might consider it manipulative and underhanded for a woman to arch an eyebrow instead of speak her piece openly in the boardroom.  And yet it is a valuable skill to "manipulate" others through succinct unspoken nuances of expression.

Easy and accepted target, same as blaming the "white man"

Quoted: Quoted: It’s instinctual for woman to deceive. In caveman days. Brute force and physical abilities meant survival. Women lacking that had to use other means to survive There is much truth to the *second* part of your assertion. However I strongly contend that manipulation and deception are *learned* as compared to 'instinctive' behaviors. Salmon swim upstream and birds migrate from instinct.  That behavioral pattern in hardwired and inborn as compared to aquired (taught) knowledge. For thousands of generations, parents *taught* daughters to manipulate and decieve, whether conciously or subconciously relaying and implanting that behavior. On the other hand, sons were taught to 'man up' and 'take the bull by the horns' when it comes to responsibility, and to speak forthrightly. My late mother was an executive assistant back during the 1950s, the heyday of classical American gender-typed employment when that was the absolute summit of a career woman's opportunities.  She could make or break a business deal by subtly lifting one eyebrow.  She never spoke up in a business meeting, but she definitely had her input in effective ways. Nowadays, we might consider it manipulative and underhanded for a woman to arch an eyebrow instead of speak her piece openly in the boardroom.  And yet it is a valuable skill to "manipulate" others through succinct unspoken nuances of expression.

They did a study with babies. The baby would be placed on one side of a barrier and the mother on the other side. The baby would attempt to reach his or her mother eventually.

All the boys would shake the barrier, try to climb over it, try to squeeze through it, etc.

The girls, without exception, after a short period of trying to get around the barrier, would sit down and cry until momma reached over and picked them up.

Manipulation is part of a woman's behavior from birth.

Quoted: Frankly, I've known just as many men who couldn't handle responsibility as women who have the same problem.  I don't see it as gender linked. Having said that, I recognize that many women so try to manipulate their man through blame.  Some men do it as well. In my own marriage I had a problem with this several years back.  I was walking on eggshells around my wife.  For totally random reasons she would have complete emotional breakdowns.  It was a downward spiral.  Once she started getting emotional I would try to comfort her, only to be told that she was upset at me for any number of random reasons (90% of them the creation of her own mind)  and she just, "can't keep it all inside anymore."  So I'd have to sit there and let her list my every perceived flaw for an hour or more so she could, "get it all out."  Two to three days later the pattern would repeat itself. I finally decided to bring an end to this destructive behavior.  When she started having another random emotional breakdown I simply told her that I loved her and then excused myself to go for a drive.  Before going out the door I always told her that I would be back when she was in control of herself again.  I'd come back to find her sulking, but in control.  The problem completely ended in just a week or two. Interestingly, our relationship has been significantly stronger since then.

THIS is great advice!  I call it "disengagement".  When the argument gets irrational/stupid, WALK AWAY!  I've discovered this by accident after my wife's 1st miscarriage.  EVERY argument would end up with me being blamed for everything  and everything I said made it worse.  Once she decided I was wrong, nothing I said would make it right.  Actually made it worse.

Think of it this way.  She is becoming emotional about something, so every thing you say during this time will "hurt her feelings".  So just walk away.  Say I love you, but, walk away.

Ya know what?  You're absolutely right.  Women are just trouble.

Turn Gay.  For all of our sakes.  Less men in the pool will make it easier for us women to weed out the jackasses anyway.