Last Tuesday was a slow night and I got a drunk new best friend whether I wanted it or not.  It ended up providing me with some entertainment though.

A group of girls that are always in the bar came in and sat down to hang out.  For some reason or another they had gotten one girl flowers and a card.  Just for you mental picture it was a group of about 6-7 and all were attractive to "like the fist of an angry god".

I'm standing by the back door talking to the bartender and watching tv when this guy from out of town that I had carded earlier in the night came up and started talking to me.  No big deal.  I had time to kill and it was slow.  Turns out he wants to know about those girls and should he go over and talk to them.  

Now I don't know those girls other than saying hi to them and some small talk.  I don't know if they have boyfriends or anything (I'm married anyway so I don't really care), but this guy is halfway shitfaced and I knew they wouldn't give this goofy bastard the time of day.  Did I hook him up with a good "I don't think you have much of a chance"?  No I didn't.  I told him to go for it.  Chase the dream!

As I walked towards the front to check IDs he sits down at their table and starts going for the one they gave the flowers too (this one is a LTFOAAG).  I chuckled and headed up front.  A couple minutes later the bartender walked up front and asked me if I had sent that guy over there to those girls then laughed and called me an asshole .

About ten minutes later he comes walking up front with a very disapointed and confused look on his face.  The conversation went something like this...
Him: (Backwoods Georgia Accent) Hey...I don't know what just happened.  
Me: ?
Him: Well, I sat down and tried to talk to this chick and she had some flowers so I asked her who gave them to her.
Me: Oh yea...
Him: She pointed to one of the other girls there and they all started laughing. So I sez...are you lesbian?
Me: Oh yea.  What did she say? (knowing she isn't)
Him:  She said her girlfriend gave her them flowers and that she only liked women.  Then they all laughed at me.  Man I got out of there.  


You'd think after some random girl tells you she's a lesbian just to get rid of you would call it a night or at least go for something more attainable.  Not this guy.  He was from out of town and was bent on nailing the choicest piece of ass he could find before he headed back to Georgia.  

After being denied by a "lesbian" he went up to the bar and started annoying the absolute finest female in the place that night.  Her and her friend were blowing this guy off like you wouldn't believe, but he wouldn't quit trying.

It got to the point were it was no longer funny because he really wasn't getting the hint.  In fact he started creeping out the girls in the place.  We ended up asking him to take a hike and he left empty handed.

After he left the bartender said "You know you have to give him credit.  He had good taste...too bad he didn't have a chance in hell.  He was hitting on 10's instead of taking home a 7."

Oh yea..then he called me an asshole again .  He's probably right.

Theres always one of those type of dooshbags in every bar

Quoted:  I told him to go for it.  Chase the dream!

I wish I could bitch slap you through the monitor!

You sent a mantard over to their table?? WTF? Good thing they were in a big group though.

yuo wer that bowncer ???     you phukker!!!

Quoted: Him: (Backwoods Georgia Accent) Hey...I don't know what just happened.   Me: ? Him: Well, I sat down and tried to talk to this chick and she had some flowers so I asked her who gave them to her. Me: Oh yea... Him: She pointed to one of the other girls there and they all started laughing. So I sez...are you lesbian? Me: Oh yea.  What did she say? (knowing she isn't) Him:  She said her girlfriend gave her them flowers and that she only liked women.  Then they all laughed at me.  Man I got out of there.

OMG!!

That sounds like something me and my friends would do!

Quoted: Quoted:  I told him to go for it.  Chase the dream! I wish I could bitch slap you through the monitor! You sent a mantard over to their table?? WTF? Good thing they were in a big group though.

Yes I did.  It was a controlled environment though.  He couldn't get away with anything crazy and he was quite harmless (other than being annoying).  He just had high hopes.  I can't blame him for it .

Quoted: OMG!! That sounds like something me and my friends would do!

Undisputable proof that all women are evil.  

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted:  I told him to go for it.  Chase the dream! I wish I could bitch slap you through the monitor! You sent a mantard over to their table?? WTF? Good thing they were in a big group though. Yes I did.  It was a controlled environment though.  He couldn't get away with anything crazy and he was quite harmless (other than being annoying).  He just had high hopes.  I can't blame him for it .

But, heres the thing...I've sat through the night of the living mantard! Yeah, the staff might have thought it amusing, but that creepy MF wouldn't GO AWAY!

Last time I had to deal with it, I excused myself to the restroom, much to my girl friends horror. I left her with Mr. "Lets do a 3-way" as I went to the manager. (She gave me the frozen F-U face as I left)

I walked over to the manager, who we knew...and was like WTF??? The guys that worked there all thought it was funny....and were cracking up at this creep that didn't get it. I told the manager, make him go away. NOW. <frozen smile>

The guy was asked to leave us alone at that point, but then stayed out in the parking lot for hours. We were afraid to leave.

Quoted: Quoted: OMG!! That sounds like something me and my friends would do! Undisputable proof that all women are evil.

HEY!!

You sicked him on us, bastage!

There seems to be a fine line between not "getting it" and being a weird creepy guy.  Hopefully we do a good job of telling the difference.  

Regardless, we keep an eye on guys like that and give people rides home/walk girls to their cars etc when need be.

That's why we kicked him out.  He was clueless.  Man it was funny watching him crash and burn though!

Calling a woman a lesbian because she won't have sex with you must be one of the most shallow and vain things a man can do.

Its funny until Mr "I just got the rejection of a lifetime" decides to wait outside for one of them or follows them home.  

You think you would have made him a happier customer by pointing him towards one of the more "attainables" and kept these young ladies from having to deal with this guy?

A drunk friend goes up to this young lady and starts to hit up on her.  She tells him "Sorry, I don't do anal sex."

Mr Amorous says "Well, that's OK with me, I just like it straight."

The lady tells him "No, I don't F#$% assholes!"

Quoted: walk girls to their cars etc when need be.

Good for you.

I don't often need to have an escort to my car, or the bar, restroom, or where ever... but if I'm picking up an uncomfortable vibe, it really makes a difference to have a man near by.

I don't think he got a "rejection of a lifetime" I imagine he was used to it by now.

Come on.  He wasn't an axe murderer just a kid aiming too high.