A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the
counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd
really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter.

   "You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your
clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be
expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to
satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment
above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it."

funniest thing I have read all night

That's a good one.  I heard it a few years ago and it was a little bit different  than the version you told.

It rates a solid 8 for me.

Very Funny.

Quoted: Very Funny.

When do I start?

Quoted: When do I start?

+1  

that is too freakin funny!!