User Panel
Posted: 1/19/2006 4:59:53 PM EDT
Hmm, things are strange at teh cyoung estate....
Hmm, the g/f of ten years suddenly seems highly sex resistant, stays up late in the living room and frequently sleeps there, distant, won't talk much. Most physical contact she shies away from. She mentioned at the end of the month that she 'is a little late.' EPT says no baby on the way, and period did kick in, but we have had very little sex and used protection each time. I inquired and she is concerned about 'the relationship.' It seems that the idea of marriage, home, and family, (which I had recently indicated I would like to move ahead on), has caused her to revisit what she wants in life. So, I ask her - "What do you want." Answer - "I don't know." I have been clear from the start that I am in this for marriage, home, and a family. Now, she does not seem to know if she wants any part of this. Ok, guys, what do I do here? Is it time to pull the chute and bail? Has the dread babe-done-went-nuts kicked in? Advice/comments welcome. |
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*looks around for that pic of the Thunderbird pilot punching-out*
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It is probably time to move on. Better to find out now before any serious commitment has been made.
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Tell her that "I don't know" is a chicken shit answer. Sometimes a person neesd to make a decision, because time is ticking by, not waiting like you are on "I don't know."
She is in the state of living in the moment. "I don't know" is a sign that she is still thinking that someone else might come along that is better than you and she wants to keep her options open. That's fine for a relationship a few months to a couple of years old. BUT 10 YEARS!!?!?!?!!? Tha's longer than most marriages last, you guys need to get married or start looking elsewhere... "I don't know" after 10 years is a very fucked up and answer to give to someone you have devoted that much time to. |
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A relationship is not a F-14 Tomcat. It doesn't cost as much, isn't as cool, and you can't kill people with it. So in situations where you'd try and save the F-14, such as an engine failure, or a funny warning light, or odd feeling, in the same situation in a relationship you should grab that yellow and black handle and pull like hell.
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Goose .. Punchhh uss OOOOUTT! I.. I ... Can't reach the handle.... Can't reach....
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be prepared to do one of the following:
1. deal with her bailing out on you. 2. realize you need to bail out on her. If you're dating, then it's a relationship, not a lease; there ain't no early contract termination fee. |
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Sounds familiar.
Most likey scenario (though not only possiblilty)............. She's cheating on you with another guy and is currently mulling over how/when/ if to bail on you for the other guy. She is currently thinking about whether it is worth saving your 10 year relationship or if she should bail to the new boyfriend. If you scratch the surface you may find that the unaccounted for time she spends away from you is with this 'new friend she met, but it's nothing'....... Hide the stuff you really want to keep. Otherwise you'll come home from work to find it gone, with her, to her new boyfriend's place. But then again, I could be wrong. |
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If you demanded that I give my best answer, I would say - even on the limited information given - that she is stepping out on you. Probability well over 80%. I have handled uncounted hundreds of dicorces, breakups, et c. et c. et c. Brush your teeth thoroughly and kick her to the curb.
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Now thats funny!! Sorry I know it doesn't help, I say keep your eyes open and see what happens. Prepare yourself for the worst. |
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+ eleventy billion!!!!! Been there...with my ex-wife. :-( Now, if she was trying to get space, but still willing to "go there" physically, then I would say she is just having doubts about if the relationship should continue and vacillating emotionally. Contrary to popular belief, most people are loathe to be screwing two different partners at the same time. Well, at least most people I know. So the fact that she is resistant to physical contact is a huge red flag. HUGE.....DO NOT IGNORE IT. |
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You got that right! |
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Sounds to me as if she has already begun 'looking around at other options'. You're probably going to need to press the subject.
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If she "doesn't know" after ten years she never will. You need to decide at this point what YOU want--another ten years of the same, or moving on to someone else while you still have your girlish figure (so to speak). Good luck with whatever you decide.
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10 years? What the fuck have you been doing for 10 years?
Correction on the F/14 comment. It is possible to kill someone with a relationship... that someone being yourself. |
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Please keep your head screwed on tight and DO NOT . You will need to keep your mind as sharp as possible for the bumpy road ahead. Good luck.
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You could also drive the other person to dancing the Tyburn jig, but typically neither is funny. Typically. |
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+1 I can't believe that I agree with that assho..... J/K. 10 years and undecided? Move on ASAP. |
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Not very smart of her to waste 10 years of her life with you if she doesn't think there's a future with you.
And not very considerate of her to waste 10 years of your life too. Sorry dude! |
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She's getting dick from another man. Call her on it, then boot her ass to the curb before she spends any more of your $, and for gods sakes, DON"T DO HER ANY MORE. IF SHE BECOMES PREGGO, your in the clear, because if you aint hitting it, you ain't gunna be payin for it.
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EJECTION
Situation — You must eject. Actions 1. Accomplish critical action emergency procedures. Include checklist and inflight guide pre-ejection procedures, if time and conditions permit. 2. Assume a good body position prior to ejection. Considerations 1. The pilot in command is responsible for ordering the ejection, but there are rare cases where good judgment may dictate ejection without a command. 2. Ejection can be commanded with a verbal or visual signal. a. Verbal — the words “BAILOUT, BAILOUT, BAILOUT” b. Visual (intercom out) (1) “Face curtain” — One or both clenched fists pulled downward across the face. (2) Ejection by the pilot in command 3. The recommended minimum ejection altitude under controlled conditions is 2,000 feet AGL. Your chances for a safe ejection are greatly reduced if you delay below 2,000 feet AGL. 4. The minimum recommended ejection altitude under uncontrolled conditions is 15,000 feet AGL. Uncontrolled conditions can produce high sink rates, transverse G loads and disorienting gyrations, which require more altitude for a safe ejection. 5. You should attempt to “zoom” the aircraft to approximately 20° nose high in a low-altitude ejection. You should not delay your ejection if you do not have the airspeed to pull the nose to 20° nose high. 6. Attempt to slow the aircraft to below 200 KIAS prior to ejection, but maintain a minimum of 20 KIAS above the minimum controllable airspeed. Slowing down will minimize wind blast and deceleration forces on the body. Moderate forces will be encountered at speeds up to approximately 450 KIAS (0.7 Mach), severe forces causing flailing and skin injuries occur between 450 KIAS (0.7 Mach) and 600 KIAS (0.9 Mach), and excessive forces above 600 KIAS (0.9 Mach). 7. The ejection seat will provide a safe ejection at ground level with 50 KIAS and no sink rate (if everything works perfectly). 8. The crewmember in the rear cockpit will normally eject first, time permitting. Doing so will prevent injury to the rear crewmember from the front seat rocket motor. 9. After you have ejected, attempt to “beat the seat.” If the seat malfunctions and you unstrap manually, push away from the seat and pull the “orange knob.” If below 14,000 feet MSL, pull the D-ring. 10. Recall the following post-ejection procedures from aerospace physiology training: a. Check canopy. b. Raise visor. The visor may already be lost due to wind blast with the 55-P helmet. c. Discard oxygen mask. Disconnect from bayonets, CRU-60, and the comm cord. d. Leave the PSK connected. Ejection and parachute landing fall (PLF) are unaffected by the PSK. e. Activate LPUs (if applicable). f. Pull four-line jettison lanyards — one on each rear riser. Do not pull four-line jettison if (1) the canopy is damaged or you are unable to determine canopy condition. (2) below 200 feet AGL, except to avoid a fireball. (3) lines are broken or there is another parachute/canopy malfunction. g. Prepare for landing. Turn into the wind. At approximately 200 feet AGL, discontinue turning and assume the body position for a PLF. |
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All women know what they want. They also know if they tell you, you won't like what you hear.
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Prognosis: Cheating. Remedy: Get the hell out. Or get resolution within the day. Relationships have good times and bad times, but she has obviosly checked out of yours. You are roommates now, only roommates. If you are truly in the relationship for the long haul then you are with the wrong gal and need to find one with similiar goals and ideas of what makes a successful relationship. |
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Hit the slik.
Get out and walk. Pull the striped handle. Bail out. Eject eject eject! |
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I'll be the third on this. I heard all this shit before and everything you describe is VERY familiar. I'd get out now. |
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Run, Forrest! Run!
That was MY line! Yeah, she is either cheating or thinking about it. Confront her. Help her pack. Do not raise your voice, be understanding and nice, no matter how that tears you up. |
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Unfortunately, everyone here is correct. Women do not act this way unless something is very, VERY wrong in the relationship. Which means:
- She things YOU are cheating on her. You would likely know if she suspected this, because she's more likely to confront you about it, or at least ask strange questions to feel you out. OR - She HAS ALREADY or is very close to cheating on you. This makes her feel guilty (but not bad enough to stop), so she isn't willing to be intimate (sexually or otherwise) with you. The second scenario is the more likely. -Troy |
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sure as shit, been there and thats what it is |
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You've been clear from the start that you want marriage, home, and family, but you've been together ten years and you haven't married yet? That's probably enough for her to think about right there... |
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I agree with the others, it is a pretty text book situation that usually means she is cheating. Most everyone stays longer than they should in relationships. They realize this after they have gotten over the heart ache, when they can see and think clearer. It ain`t the end of the world, although it may feel like it now. Good luck.
We need a cheating forum, with lots of tacked threads and FAQs. lol |
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funniest thing ive read all day! good post |
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+1 Sorry as hell to hear about this, 10 years! I have to agree with the peanut gallery here, the signs are there. I think I'll be the first to use the a football analogy. "Well John, it looks like it's time for the home team to punt the ball away and start thinking about defense." 96Ag |
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Hold on now....
I was in a similar situation recently... The repulsion at the thought of contact... no pie for months... The I DONT KNOW weepy talks... She is FEARING that she is totally dependant upon you for EVERYTHING in her life. Love, food, sex, mental stimulation, rent, etc. She has reached the point where she can no longer even think of how she could live without you or how she lived before. That can be a terrifying realization for some people and they need some time to figure it out. My wife needed some meds and a few good heart to hearts and some tears from both of us. I basically told her that I feel the same way, that I could never ever live without her and that yes it freaked me out but I got over the moment I first saw her. It took her a few years longer and some Anti-depressants. She could be cheating on you, or feeling like YOU don't value her, or she is FREAKING OUT because she accidently IDed herself as your WIFE to a coworker. "Well my husband said that...... OH SHIT!!!!!!" And a lil voice in her mind is screaming EJECT! EJECT! EJECT! TALK TO HER NOW IF YOU VALUE HER AT ALL. bring a digital recorder that can record for 6 hours. So you don't end up in jail. |
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Read This: www.nomarriage.com
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