I have been reading news stories lately that tell bizarre stories of aliens abducting them and performing anal probes and other such invasive procedures.

If you were ever probed (only by an alien from outer space-- not an illegal alien) anally or otherwise, please tell us your story.  Inquiring minds want to know.


Lawdog

Let's put alien abduction in proper perspective.  Typical alien abduction story follows. Upper line is the story, next line the truth.

I was walking/driving/sitting in my trailer and lost track of time/blacked out/fainted.
{I wuz shitfaced drunk watchin Jerry Springer, doing tequila shooters to my old Merle cassette or slurping my paycheck at the tavern}
When suddenly I awoke to a brillant white light and felt as though I was being lifted into space.  I found myself lying on a cold metal table as my clothes were removed.
{after being blinded by three to five KC Dayliters, three bubbas lifted your drunk ass into the bed of their pick-up truck and decided to butt fuck you}

They had big dark eyes, pasty white skin and appeared to just stare at me as they probed and expermented on me.  I just floated there, when they probed it hurt but I could not scream as they had something in my mouth.
{With their wifebeater T-shirt removed these hicks had terrible farmer tans and cheap Wal-Mart sunglasses.  We really do not need to be graphic about the anal probe or what kept you from hollering do we? }

I awoke hours later, miles from home, disoriented, ass was killing me and I had a terrible taste in my mouth.  I was convinced they had taken me to their space ship and experimented on me.
{Your now hungover and recently ass probed hillbilly self is found sitting on a dirt road three miles from nowhere, you do NOT want to tell your buddies what happened and you better think of something quick.  To bad you are an idiot who dropped out in eight grade.}

Add whatever embellishments to the story you like.  The fact is that it is unlikely aliens will fly here from across the galaxy and somehow manage to only abduct morons and losers?  

What the hell guys, submit your own story.
www.ufosnw.com/report.htm
www.nuforc.org/

Only with the pinky finger and I was waaaaaaay drunk!!

Nope.

Not too many mexicans around here.

I probed an alien, but she was legal.

We have a hill top cleared down by Willow Springs where they come every year to take a few true believers for a ride around the solar system.

The view never changes, though, it's always a lovely dream   like        show       ...

Hey, those dudes are trying to pull a fast one, I'll bet.  Maybe that is why my neck always hurts after these trips.

This is probably the most famous as they made a movie over this lying dipstick's story: www.castleofspirits.com/traviswalton.html, read it for yourself and decide whose telling the truth and who's full of shit.

Mike

I nearly got ran over by a Mexican driving a Ford Probe.

Does that count?

I intend to probe an alien in the pooper and post pics.

i haven't.
but i myself, probed a mexican alien.
brunette

Quoted: I nearly got ran over by a Mexican driving a Ford Probe. Does that count? vasilli.dimapix.com/misc/my%20cars/1%20-%20RIP%20-%2093%20Ford%20Probe%20SE/.cache/640x480-vasilli__sleepy_probe.jpg

The Latin lover's car looks sleepy.

It starts out innocent. "Hi, I'm lost...may I borrow your phone?


The next thing you know they want you to party with their friends.


Then, before you know it, your pooter hurts like hell, you turn into one of them and you develope a
butt lust for little human boys.

Bump for lonegunman's post.