Military Enlistment Oaths

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Military Enlistment Oaths

Posted: 12/24/2005 12:22:52 PM EDT

I saw this today. Now before some over sensitive person starts whining: I respect the members of our armed forces. These stereotypes are pretty funny.

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT

I, (State Your Name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me and I am afraid of water over waist deep. I swear to sit behind a desk and I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first names because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training" I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me and will go home early every day.
So Help Me God!
____________________ Signature
____________________ Date

US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT

I, (have someone recite your name for you) , swear... uhhhh.... high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies.... ugh... Air Force women.... HOORAH!
So Help Me CORPS.!

____________________ Thumb Print or X
____________________ Date

US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT

I, Top Gun , in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 hrs. every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930 hours. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop.

I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues."
So Help Me Neptune!
______________________ Signature
______________________ Date

Posted: 12/24/2005 12:44:14 PM EDT

[#1]

Pretty good, but where's the one ragging on the Army?

Posted: 12/24/2005 12:50:00 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Pretty good, but where's the one ragging on the Army?

Dunno, wasn't sent to me... Make one up?

Posted: 12/24/2005 12:55:47 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Pretty good, but where's the one ragging on the Army?

Dunno, wasn't sent to me... Make one up?

I would try, but I'm too tired from fighting my way through traffic earlier.

Posted: 12/24/2005 12:59:18 PM EDT

[#4]

heh, semi amusing. would be funnier if it had less blatent bashing in an attempt to make it realistic looking

Posted: 12/24/2005 1:05:20 PM EDT

[#5]

Navy guy sitting in the rain:

"This sucks."

Army guy sitting in the rain:

"I like the way this sucks."

Marine guy sitting in the rain:

"I wish it would suck more!"

Airforce guy, feet up, inside, raining outside, with his feet up, and, a remote in his hand:

"HEY! The cable's out! THIS SUCKS!"

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Military Enlistment Oaths

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