I knew a guy in college that was abducted by aliens.

He said the whole thing was terrible. He doesn't remember the exact details, but he claims that he started out with a size 2 sphincter muscle, and when he was returned it was a swollen size 9.


[(:|)] [(:|)]  [(:|)] [(:|)] [(:|)] [(:|)]

No, but I like to watch The X-Files... does that count?

Tyler

I get abducted about once a month!![0j]




the truth is out there

I heard of people got abducted by illegal immigrants (or Aliens) does that count??

[size=5] I wish them lil bastards wud try 'em abduct me.... I wanna be the the first kid on my block with a confirmed alien kill !
[b]YEEEHAAA ! ! [/B] [/size=5]
 [shotgun]   [(:|)]
[img]http://wsphotofews.excite.com/028/Vi/Oh/by/9B17964.jpg[/img]

What is the correct definition for Aliens?

Not since I started making tin foil hats and collars and selling them.
KenS

I live in a bombed out trailer park (My God! What a suprise!), and there is a guy down the street named Joe Dale who will swear on a stack of Bibles that he was abducted.

He says two aliens, disguised as his brother Cooter and Cooter's friend Zeke, grabbed him off the front porch at about 0400 one morning.

They took off in a light fighter craft made to look like Cooter's '72 Chevy pickup and docked with the mothership, which the aliens had decked out to resemble Zeke's garage.

At that point Joe Dale was probed anally for two hours.  He was returned home afterwards.

Personally, I think Joe Dale is trying real hard to work out some personal issues.

Also, it would be wise to avoid Zeke's garage.

I AM the alien. How would you like to be cooked ?
I am here to serve humanity....

[:E]They done tore the roof off of my trailer and gave me an anal probe![>Q]

[(:|)][(:|)][(:|)][(:|)]

A guy I used to work with claimed that both he and his wife had been abducted one night.

He was a truly bizarre guy.  Never met his wife to know if she was weird too.

Regarding it being "really ignorant" to assume we're alone -- ok, so how would they get here if they were out there somewhere??  Detailed physics, preferably including implementation details and schematics, would be much appreciated. [:p]

Personally, I would bet that extraterrestrial life exists.  Whether it's beyond the level of (the equivalent of) bacteria or not is a separate issue.

[u]True story (long story):[/u]

(page 1.)

When I was a kid, my dad use to send me to summer camp to have fun.  I was like a lot of young boys, big on bravado and short on common sense.  Before going to summer camp, I use to ride my bicycle to the highest hill in the next city from my house.  I would huff and puffed riding on that old bike to get to the top of the hill. When I would finally reached the top, I would get off my bike and yell straight up to the sky and wave my arms frantically around and hope some passing alien would spot me and send a beam of light down to abduct me.  I would yell something like, "hey, you sticking rotten aliens!  Come and get me!  I know you guys are scare of me!"

The reason I wanted to be abducted was so I can kill one of the aliens and escape with the body and end up famous with my picture in the newspapers.  Then all the neighborhood chicks my age would give me all their affection.  I wanted to be a playground stud.  [:)]

Well since going to summer camp, I have been scared sh!tless about alien abductions from hearing all the scary stories the camp leaders used to tell us at night.  Needless to say, I don't want to be abducted by aliens anymore!  No, siree bob!  I stopped going to the hills trying to arouse some evil aliens.

Back at the camp, the camp leaders used to place a flashlight under their chin and tell us about the numberous horrific stories about anal probes they would occur in an area in the state of California.  People would be probed all over their entire bodies, and then some!  Sometimes the abductees would be strapped down by large and muscular beings in shiney space-age leather outfits and the victims would get continuous probings with devices covered with numberous mysterious "feelers".  I guess the "feelers" do some kind of analyzing on the human body and the data gets fed into their database on the human race.  I dunno!  

It has been said by the camp leaders that the aliens are so insidious, they have even created a super race of aliens of female-like beings moded into sensuous bodies pressed into the same kind of shiney space-age leather clothes the musuclar mask-wearing beings wear and would use rolled-up magical wands that extend and make a cracking sound at the flick of their wrist. I guess the "magical wand" also gets feedback for their database.  Again, I dunno!

Even though the area was fraught with victim's screams and the sound of magical wands making cracking "analyzing" sounds, none of the police in the area would get involved.  I guess the aliens have some super high-tech device that drains the police of their cognitive senses when they pass by the area and a ray of some sort makes them totally unaware of the alien crimes on our fellow human beings.  What was really strange is that people would apparently get to even like this downright violation of their body and give tips to the evil aliens to get even more punishment!  How strange.  How totally strange!  Them aliens are damn clever!

As I write this post shaking sh!tless with fear and regressing back into memory, I'm trying to remember the name of the area the camp leaders warned us to avoid at all costs and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER venture into there!!   And because of the warnings, I have NEVER had that thought cross my mind to go into that area even for a second!  Not a sh!tless second!

(page 2.)

Ah...yes...the name of the area is starting to come slowly into my mind...it was called...Hol..Holl...almost got it...ah,yes!...the area was called Hollywood, California!!  Yes!  It was called, Hollywood, Calfornia!!  Don't go there!!

Hey, at least some of this story is true.  [:D]
Sorry, must be the business meetings I've been going to.  These meetings drive a person crazy!

[b]-RoadDog[/b]
[img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/Gif/scooby1.gif[/img]

One night I was drinking lots of that stuff with a worm in the bottom of the bottle and I'm pretty sure I was abducted....anyway, I'm real sure I had a bad hangover and an ugly woman the next morning.

How?  The action is purely mechanical.

I don't know what the Alien's fascination with sodomy is all about.  All I know is it doesn't help you have a tin-foil hat; you have to have metal underwear!

[url]http://dailynews.yahoo.com/htx/nm/20010731/ts/space_life_dc_1.html[/url]

If true, this makes it much more plausible that there are aliens -- since [b]we're[/b] the aliens on this planet. . . .

BTW, regarding:


Call Metal Shorts in Seattle, WA at (206) 382-0305.