since N.O. my wife has taken preparedness and defense more seriously.  I got her out to the range to get familiar with the AR, the shotgun, and the 1911.
next step is basic tactics.  not so much that her eyes glaze over and she gets bored, but enough to get a good primer on staying alive in a firefight.
any ideas to add to my own would be much appreciated.

Start her on mindset first. Victims become victims when they look easy to victimize. Get her to start understanding spatial awareness and that anyone within 21 feet can reach her in a second  or 2 tops and is a threat if they choose to be.
    The rest of it is practice. In instruction I have noticed women take to instruction and perform better in a hosrter period of time then men also.

1. Front sight focus. The bullet goes where the front site is pointing.

2. Aim for the center of mass. A hit in the stomach is better than a miss in the head.

3. Distance is your friend. You should be a better shot than your opponent (take her to the range alot so that this becomes the case), so do not give them advantage of close range.

4. If you are not shooting, then you should be moving.

5. Find cover as quickly as possible.

That's my $.01

Cover,Cover,Cover,Cover,
Can't stress that enough, teach her what the word means........

Constantly go over scenarios in your head.  If you see someone in McDonald's that looks capable of breaking the law, start going through what you would do if he did X or if he did Y.  

It has been said that people who take a "when it happens to me, I'll do this" attitude tend to be more prepared psychologically for bad situations.

Also teach her how to shoot and move.  Bad guys prefer targets that are standing still.