Why are Pirates so darn funny?

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Why are Pirates so darn funny?

Posted: 9/13/2005 7:46:22 AM EDT

Dodgeball, had a funny pirate
FedEx, has a pirate commercial
Kids cartoons...funny pirates

Why are pirates funny? I find them to be hysterical. ARRRRRRRRR!

Edit...we need Pirate animations and smileys!

Posted: 9/13/2005 7:47:00 AM EDT

[#1]

Cause they won't kill you, unlike real pirates.

Posted: 9/13/2005 7:49:37 AM EDT

[#2]

Cause they go "Yar, Matee, Yar"!!!. And that rhymes with "Har Dee Har Har". Sort of. And that, my friend, is hilarious.

Posted: 9/13/2005 7:52:46 AM EDT

[#3]

*rawk* Hoist the sails *rawk*. Near as we can figrrrr that means yeas.

Posted: 9/13/2005 7:56:51 AM EDT

[#4]

Because Ninjas suck.

Posted: 9/13/2005 7:57:15 AM EDT

[#5]

Mr. Pirate, do you know you have a steering wheel on your crotch?

Yarr, I know, and it's drivin' me nuts!

Posted: 9/13/2005 7:58:10 AM EDT

[#6]

Aaaarghh... I be the dreade pirate J_Smith of the seven seas is search of grog and booty.......prepare to be boarded as I throw some Seaman across your bow........I be here just to plunder yer vessel! Aarghh

I AM a Puddle Pirate..........

.........and we have Mall Ninjas here too

...........and I do utter such phrases as "AAArggh", "Booty", "shiver me timbers",etc while at work.........its really quite funny to see in person.

Posted: 9/13/2005 7:59:52 AM EDT

[#7]

Just a natural gift, I guess.

Oh, and AARRRRRRRR!

Posted: 9/13/2005 8:00:06 AM EDT

[#8]

Talk like apirate day is just around the corner

edited to add AARRRR!

Posted: 9/13/2005 8:05:08 AM EDT

[#9]

Do you mean funny... Aaaarrrhhh...

Like... I amuse you....?

Everyone... deep down... wants to be like us, ya scaliwag!

A Pirate Looks at Forty
by Jimmy Buffett

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You’ve seen it all, you’ve seen it all

Watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam
And in your belly you hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of ’em dream, most of ’em dream

Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don’t thunder, there’s nothin’ to plunder
I’m an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

I’ve done a bit of smugglin’, I’ve run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last

And I have been drunk now for over two weeks
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I got stop wishin’, got to go fishin’
Down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends

I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran ’em away, they’d come back one day
Still could manage to smile
Just takes a while, just takes a while

Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I’ve found
My occupational hazard being my occupation’s just not around
I feel like I’ve drowned, gonna head uptown

I feel like I’ve drowned, gonna head uptown

Posted: 9/13/2005 8:13:21 AM EDT

[#10]

Posted: 9/13/2005 8:14:46 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Because Ninjas suck.

Pirates are lame.

Posted: 9/13/2005 8:24:40 AM EDT

[#12]

Pirates kick ass. I will not stand idly by while you denigrate pirates.

Posted: 9/13/2005 8:31:53 AM EDT

[#13]

Find who ye truely are! ARRR!
www.fidius.org/quiz/pirate/

On the high seas, I am known as Iron Tom Roberts, even though me name is Bill.

Bilster

Posted: 9/13/2005 8:48:16 AM EDT

[#14]

Talk Like a Pirate Day is just around the corner - 19 September.

ARRRR, matey's. Shiver me timbers!!

Posted: 9/13/2005 8:50:06 AM EDT

[#15]

If they ever come up with a Pirate School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

GM

Posted: 9/13/2005 8:51:34 AM EDT

[#16]

I am "Black William Kidd"

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:02:39 AM EDT

[#17]

Some pirate trivia: While I was taking German back in High School, we happened to stumble upon the German equivalant of "Arrrgh matey" while doing a project. Apparently German pirates say "Tommy HOOODay!" instead...

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:03:22 AM EDT

[#18]

Bloody Prudentilla Kidd
Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea. For others (the masochists), it's the food. For you, it's definitely the fighting. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:08:40 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Do you mean funny... Aaaarrrhhh...

Like... I amuse you....?

Everyone... deep down... wants to be like us, ya scaliwag!

A Pirate Looks at Forty
by Jimmy Buffett

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You’ve seen it all, you’ve seen it all

Watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam
And in your belly you hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of ’em dream, most of ’em dream

Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don’t thunder, there’s nothin’ to plunder
I’m an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

I’ve done a bit of smugglin’, I’ve run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last

And I have been drunk now for over two weeks
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I got stop wishin’, got to go fishin’
Down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends

I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran ’em away, they’d come back one day
Still could manage to smile
Just takes a while, just takes a while

Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I’ve found
My occupational hazard being my occupation’s just not around
I feel like I’ve drowned, gonna head uptown

I feel like I’ve drowned, gonna head uptown

Thanks Tom!!

That there's easily one of my favorrit songs.

Arrrrr...

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:14:46 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Find who ye truely are! ARRR!
www.fidius.org/quiz/pirate/

On the high seas, I am known as Iron Tom Roberts, even though me name is Bill.

Bilster

Your pirate name is:
Mad William Kidd

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:15:49 AM EDT

[#21]

BLACKBEARD: "Yarr, 'tis some sart of treasure map!"

BENIDICT ARNOLD: "You idiot, you can't read!"

BLACKBEARD: "Arr, 'tis true. Me debauchary was me way of compensatin'"

MARGE: "Sorry mr. Blackbeard, we're low on chairs and this is the last one."

BLACKBEARD: "Yarr! This chair be high, says I."

Cpt. McCallister: "Yarr, I've got some customers. Call me back, Ishmael."

Cpt. McCallister: "Arr, there be a fine vessel. The yarest river-goin' boat there be. *it sinks* Yarr, I don't know what I'm doin'."

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:16:31 AM EDT

[#22]

Real pirates were bad ass mother fuckers. Read some history on 'em, you'll be impressed.

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:19:56 AM EDT

[#23]

"Because I'm Captain Jack Sparrow...."

("Stop blowing 'oles in my ship!!")

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:30:03 AM EDT

[#24]

Arrrrrrrr

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:36:14 AM EDT

[#25]

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:38:14 AM EDT

[#26]

It is because of their love of booty.

And the eye patch.

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:45:05 AM EDT

[#27]

Captain Sam Cash

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:49:46 AM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Find who ye truely are! ARRR!
www.fidius.org/quiz/pirate/

Bloody Tom Rackham
Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea.
For others (the masochists), it's the food.
For you, it's definitely the fighting.
You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate.

Arr!

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:50:09 AM EDT

[#29]

Posted: 9/13/2005 9:51:34 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
...

A Pirate Looks at Forty
by Jimmy Buffett

...

Always one of my very favorite songs... even more so now that I'm less than a year away.

Posted: 9/13/2005 10:01:30 AM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Find who ye truely are! ARRR!
www.fidius.org/quiz/pirate/

Bloody Tom Rackham
Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea.
For others (the masochists), it's the food.
For you, it's definitely the fighting.
You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate.

Arr!

+1

Posted: 9/13/2005 10:01:51 AM EDT

[#32]

My pirate name is:

Iron William Flint

and don't none a ya forget it! Back to work!

An I guess this be's me creedo -

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Posted: 9/13/2005 10:11:28 AM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:
Pirates kick ass. I will not stand idly by while you denigrate pirates.

Ninjas > pirates all day long. I suggest you consult RealUtlimatePower and disabuse yourself of the incorrect assumption of pirate superiority.

It's a universal truth, just like pie > cake, us > them and everyone > France.

Sheep

Posted: 9/13/2005 10:39:28 AM EDT

[#34]

ARRRGGGGGHHHHHH

Posted: 9/13/2005 11:05:03 AM EDT

[#35]

Arrrrr, indeed!

And what a wicked bar wench she be.

Posted: 9/13/2005 11:17:17 AM EDT

[#36]

bloodninja HARRR! chat -

Girl: Hi
Boy: hello
Boy: who is this?
Girl: just a someone?
Boy: A someone I know?
Girl: nope
Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
Girl: well sorrrrrry
Girl: I just wanted to chat with you
Boy: why?
Girl: nevermind your an asshole
Boy: Hey wait a minute
Girl: yes?
Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
Girl: paranoid?
Boy: yes
Girl: of what?
Girl: me?
Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
Girl: LOL
Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Boy: This shit is serious!
Girl: What are you hiding from?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: gimme a fucking break
Boy: I'm serious.
Girl: I don't get it
Boy: The cops are after me.
Girl: For what?
Boy: I'm wanted in three states
Girl: For???
Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.
Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You are fucking sick.
Boy: Send me your picture.
Girl: why?
Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.
Girl: One of what?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: I'm not a cop i told you
Boy: Then send me your picture.
Girl: hold on
Boy: Hurry up.
Boy: Are you there?
Boy: fuck you, cop!
Girl: Hey sorry
Girl: I had to do something for my mom.
Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Boy: Weren't you!?
Girl: thats not it
Boy: Then what?
Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Boy: Most cops aren't
Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!
Boy: Then send me the picture.
Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?
Boy: Just send it through here.
Girl: alright *PIC*
Girl: Did you get it?
Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.
Girl: That was me back in may
Girl: I've lost weight since then.
Boy: I hope so
Girl: what?!?
Girl: that hurt my feelings.
Boy: Did it?
Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Girl: yes
Boy: Alright let me find it.
Girl: kks
Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*
Girl: this isn't you.
Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!
Girl: You don't look like that.
Boy: How the hell do you know?
Girl: cause your profile has another picture.
Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
Girl: Go fuck yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.
Girl: you hurt me.
Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Boy: Why would I do that?
Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you
Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
Girl: FUC YOU!!!
Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.
Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.
Girl: No you aren't
Boy: You're right. I'm not.
Boy: HAARRRRR!
Girl: I'm done with you
Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.
Girl: I'm putting you on ignore
Boy: Wait a sec
Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
Boy: Wanna start over?
Girl: No
Boy: I'll eat your pussy
Girl: You'll what?
Boy: You heard me.
Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.
Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don't know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I'm afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It's my fantasy.
Girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
Girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl: this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy: They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
Boy: I kick you in the face!
Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

:D