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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:32:33 PM EDT
 www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=15821253%26method=full%26siteid=94762%26headline=wife%2dwas%2dbattered%2dwith%2dfish%2d-name_page.html WIFE WAS BATTERED WITH FISH By Rod Chaytor DRUNK husband John Cole faced the scales of justice for hitting his wife Elaine with a fish. A court heard the hung-over former fork-lift driver woke up in a rage thinking she had hidden two cans of beer. He punched the ex-barmaid after hitting her with the 8lb pike from their kitchen during Tuesday's row. Cole, 54, of Sedgley, West Mids, admitted common assault. He was given a six-month conditional discharge and ordered to pay £70 costs by Dudley magistrates. After Wednesday's hearing, regretful Cole said he couldn't bring himself to eat the pike. He revealed: "I fed it to our cats and dogs." Elaine, 49, said she forgave him but added: "I could've been seriously hurt or killed by that fish." |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:33:58 PM EDT
[#1]
Was it a beer-batter? 
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:34:29 PM EDT
[#2]
 |
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:36:19 PM EDT
[#3]
"WIIIIIIIITH.. A
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Posted: 8/5/2005 11:43:44 PM EDT
[#4]
At least he didnt shove it up his ass first.
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Posted: 8/6/2005 12:27:56 AM EDT
[#6]
That goes done pretty regularly on the Howard Stern show.
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Posted: 8/6/2005 12:35:01 AM EDT
[#7]
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Posted: 8/6/2005 12:37:43 AM EDT
[#8]
Well, if she was hiding beer .....
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Posted: 8/6/2005 3:49:47 AM EDT
[#9]
"Scales of justice"....fish. hahahahahaha
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Posted: 8/6/2005 4:13:38 AM EDT
[#10]
People are finding all kinds of creative uses for fish lately. Perhaps we need legislation enacted such "assault with a deadly Tarpon".
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Posted: 8/6/2005 4:30:41 AM EDT
[#11]
OUCH - double pun - OUCH! |
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Posted: 8/6/2005 4:32:40 AM EDT
[#12]
well, there must not have been an SKS in the house.... |
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Posted: 8/6/2005 5:22:22 AM EDT
[#13]
Ban assualt fish now!!! Do it for the children........
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Posted: 8/6/2005 5:28:34 AM EDT
[#14]
tag
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Posted: 8/6/2005 5:33:18 AM EDT
[#15]
He's fin-ished.
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Posted: 8/6/2005 5:48:45 AM EDT
[#16]
He should have SIIHPAPP! After it thawed.
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Posted: 8/6/2005 6:04:59 AM EDT
[#17]
Sounds fishy to me!
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Posted: 8/6/2005 6:07:26 AM EDT
[#18]
exactly what I was thinking. Did she bring him a shrubbery? (something not too big) |
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Posted: 8/6/2005 6:10:53 AM EDT
[#19]
those Brits and their devotion to beer... I can really respect that.
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Posted: 8/6/2005 6:11:36 AM EDT
[#20]
 Dammit. Beat me. |
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Posted: 8/6/2005 6:26:29 AM EDT
[#21]
No need for a ban, just "reasonable safegaurds" like a three day waiting period for a fishing permit, background checks at fish stands, and no more than one fish a month.  
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Posted: 8/6/2005 6:27:31 AM EDT
[#22]
It's time to ban assault pikes and high capacity catfish.................do it for the wives and children
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Posted: 8/6/2005 6:28:41 AM EDT
[#23]
Thousands of battered wimminz, and I've been eating mine plain...
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Posted: 8/6/2005 6:42:49 AM EDT
[#24]
Sounds Fishy to me..
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Posted: 8/6/2005 7:10:12 AM EDT
[#25]
Awww, he has nothing to carp about; the fine was only 70 clams and 6 months probation. Surely, he didn't do it on porpoise and he won't make it a halibut.
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Posted: 8/6/2005 7:13:14 AM EDT
[#26]
Back when I worked for the phone company, I had a service call once at what my fellow techs called the "Tempura House".
When I got there, I discovered why.... It was a shelter for lightly battered women.    CJ |
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Posted: 8/6/2005 7:21:21 AM EDT
[#27]
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Posted: 8/6/2005 7:23:05 AM EDT
[#28]
Should have just fed her the trouser trout instead.........
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Posted: 8/6/2005 7:24:58 AM EDT
[#29]
Fish control would never work. You can pick up a fish on the street, from the guys down by the river, any time you want.
Sure they are carp, not the kind you would hang on the wall or show off to your friends, but in a battering incident, many wouldn't be able to tell the difference. As long as we maintain the regulations on the number that can be posessed, I say, we will be ok. Sure some of you will say the posession limits are fish controls, but these have been around for a long time. Leave it be, and let the chips fall where they may. |
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Posted: 8/6/2005 7:36:45 AM EDT
[#30]
Or up her ass or cooch, damn fish raped. |
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Posted: 8/6/2005 2:40:03 PM EDT
[#31]
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