I never get any trick or treaters. If I get surprised this year and happen to get one, I will pass out quarters.

I plan on opening the door in a 1950's style Russian outfit with an AK (bolt taken out for safety reasons) and respond "yes, the children, they want their rations, it will be given to you equally, yes".

Quoted: Anyone have any good tricks up their sleeves? I got one.  Gonna have the rottweiler next to the door.  If they begin grabbing, I tell them that I will put a Hex on them.  When they continue, I give the command to Hex the rottie.  I imagine I will end up with more candy than they do!  Hehehe... What do you have ready?

Nice, but I think most of the semi-literate boobs in our society wouldn't even have the faintest clue of what a "hex" is.




This reminds me of the parrot and Jesus joke.

Get everything you need to make Caramel Apples then substitute onions for the apples.

Heh...this one happened to me...

Take an old lawn chair or something, on the front porch (or by the front door). Dress up in way old clothes. Stuff your clothes with leaves, etc...looking like a scarecrow or something. Put a pumpkin (fake or real, whatever over your face, hat on top. Seriously, like a scarecrow.

Just sit there, don't move.

Kids come by with their parents...the parents will probably ignore you. When the kids look..jink your hand up.

Kids will probably pull on mommy/daddy's pant leg and say you moved. Be still. It'll pass.

Do it again when the parents aren't looking.

Continue on this until the kids get to go.

When they all leave...and the kids turn around to look at the mysterious moving scarecrow...

Get up and wave goodbye.

Then sit back down and go still.

SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME when I was a kid.

Sure it'd work today, too