This week's "Space Cadet" Award: "I can do a better job of protecting America's security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere." --John uFo Kerry
"From the Four-Fingers-Pointing-Back Files: "One thing that's very clear is that a long rèsumè does not equal good judgment." --John Edwards **He couldn't have described himself and the other John any better!
This week's "Ignarus Perpetuus" Award: "Americans need a real conversation over our future. What they don't need is all these trumped up advertisements. They just make people curl up and walk away. I'm calling them 'misleadisments.' It's all scare tactics...because [Bush] has no record to run on." --John Kerry, the undecided candidate for president **Who's the one with no record to run on?++ Speaking of records: "We will not quickly join those who march on Veterans' Day waving small flags, calling to memory those thousands who died for the 'greater glory of the United States.' We will not readily join the American Legion and the Veterans of Foreign Wars." --John Kerry from his 1971 book, "The New Soldier" **To see the entire text of this anti-American diatribe by Mr. "Stronger America", link to http://kerry-04.org/new_soldier.php
This week's "Limited Candle Power" Award: "[Bush has] been the most disappointing to women, who thought with all of his commitments and promises that things were going to change for them. Things didn't change; they got worse." --Ann Richards **"So things got worse without changing? Must be some quantum-physics deal." --James Taranto
This week's "Non Compos Mentis" Award: "Here's what would be good for the American economy -- to outsource George W. Bush." --No. 2 John **Memo to the Johns: Your vision of foreign diplomacy notwithstanding, we can't outsource the presidency.
This week's "Hyper-Hypocrisy" Award: "I defended this country as a young man at war, and I will defend it as President of the United States." --John Kerry **Change the "defend" to "defeat" and you've got it.
From the "Bottom Half of the John-John Ticket": "I'd say if you live in the United States of America and you vote for George Bush, you've lost your mind." --John Edwards
From the Federalist Patriot Daily, 6 Oct., 2004.