Cramming a long story into a few words:

He’s at a “wedding reception” at a friend’s house – I think the guy’s a 44 year old slacker that married a 21 year old tyrant so that he’d have some arm candy to show off to his friends – so I didn’t go to the “reception”.  

Yada, yada, add too much cheap booze, some under-age white trash, and an argument over who took some CD out of the boom box – and eventually a round of “drinks to the face” are exchanged.  Another round of drink tossing is cut short by a young woman throwing a glass tumbler into my friend’s forehead (causing a cut which later required 14 stitches to close).

Next thing ya know, my friend’s PR girlfriend ends up getting her head stomped on by some punks calling her the dreaded “N” word.  He tries to intervene, and two WT jump him and they communicate to each other that they should, to quote, “drag him into the bushes so nobody can see”.  This causes him to realize the gravity of the situation and he finds a way to get back on his feet and ends the situation using (from what I’ve heard) words.

The fight eventually gets broken up, and as my friend and his girlfriend are being taken away on the ambulance stretchers, the Police make sure they both got their “Disorderly Conduct” tickets ($155) before they leave.  (Because, EVERYBODY got DO tickets that night)

So, he files in small claims court against the woman that “started” the fight with the glass tumbler to the head (who of course, he knows).  He wants her to pay for his medical expenses and the DO ticket.

Fast forward to today – he got a letter from the Judge Mathis TV show in Chicago and he showed it to me – I begged him to call the number on the letter head (since myself and others have been telling him that this sounds like a great case for Judge Joe Brown or Judge Judy) – an he called and left a voice mail!  I am really excited about the opportunity to see this end up on a court TV show.  

Why am I excited?  Because I’ve heard that they put the court guests up in a hotel suite and you get to raid the mini-bar, in short – I’m in it for the party and the sheer humor value.  That’s all.

I’ve never seen the Judge Mathis show – but I can’t believe it’s any more fucked up than the regular small claims court system – there’s such a quality of juvenile he said/she said to this case – and both parties are incapable of keeping their mouth’s shut for more than a minute – it’s got to have some entertainment value.

They guarantee that any findings Judge Mathis makes will be awarded several times in the letter – and to me it sounds like he’s got a case.  So what, if any, is the down side to this?  Anyone ever seen the show?

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I don't get into drunken fights (anymore).  I ache to be awash in the experience as an outsude observer (and I need just about 0 excuse to head down to Chi-town for a night of partying)