So, over the weekend a buddy and I decided to do a little drinking, scratching and cussing.  His wife was out of town, and it seemed like a good reason to watch TV, play some video games and drink.

Well, the only problem was my buddy's 18-20 month old son.  We were stuck babysitting.

The mom is out on a Girl's night in Dallas, and we are babysitting the little one.

Things were going as planned.  About 9pm, my buddy decided he needed to go back to his house and pick up a few things for an overnight stay.  Diaper bag, change of clothes, etc.  Since we would be riding together to the Gunshow in the morning.

No problem, he had only consumed a beer or two in about 5 hours and was as sober as a judge.

I had no plans to drive, and was not even close to sober.

Obviously, it was time for me to babysit a toddler...

I told my buddy to go home, get his stuff, and head back over, ASAP.  I would take care of the little one.

So, he leaves.  

I wander in to the computer room and begin surfing AR15.com.

Time kinda slips away from me, and I realize I have not seen or heard from the toddler in a while.  And I need to locate him.

I called out his name.

And he appears in the hallway and comes toward me holding out a piece of chocolate that he found.  He had eaten part of it, and had some of it smeared on his face.

Well,  I kinda looked at him as he approached and wondered where the little shit found chocolate.

"Hey, buddy, where did you get chocolate?" I asked as he approached.

He held out his little hands and looked at me as if to say "Here, take this..."

I did, and realized it was not chocolate.

He handed me a half eaten dip of Skoal.  

Yup.  He had already consumed half of the dip that I had placed in my spit cup 30 minutes beforehand.

A little aghast I looked around for something to use to wipe his face.  

Nothing was handy, so I did my best just wiping with my hands.

And then I realized that he must still have half a mouthful of Skoal.  He needed to get that out of his mouth.

So, I looked around for something for him to drink.  

A half warm beer seemed to be just the thing for him.

Warm beer and Skoal.  

My buddy laughed until he had to change the diaper the next morning.  Wasn't quite as funny then, and I don't get to babysit anymore.

TRG

damn.

Invite your buddy to the site.  He'd fit right in.
And is his idea about brakes is any indication, he'd rank among the Top 5 Most Entertaining Posters.

Quoted: Invite your buddy to the site.  He'd fit right in. And is his idea about brakes is any indication, he'd rank among the Top 5 Most Entertaining Posters.

Oh yeah, he's a riot.

I think he has an account here, but his computer has been FUBARed for months now.  He is too busy buying guns and ammo to replace the computer.

TRG

Quoted: I have a 8 and 6 year, and 9 month old at home. I rarely if ever watch the little one.  Dad is a 10,000' guy.  Potato chips and cake for dinner?  Sure, eat up. My wife knows better than the leave the little one with me.

I am the same way.  No kisds of my own, so I could care less about taking care of others' children.

Candy for breakfast?  Cereal for a snack?  Cold beer, or milk in your cereal, kid?

TRG

Quoted: Was the kiddo awake all night high on nicotine?

Dunno,  I think the beer mellowed the rush from the nicotine...?

TRG

PS.  Funny footnot about this.  My buddy gives his kid beer, a few sips, everytime we drink.  Nothing major, and not enough for the kid to get tanked.

His wife gets a *little* pissed each time.

True story, his wife got mad at him for letting the kid drink, again...

Wife:  I wish you would respect my wishes with him, because I respect yours.

Buddy:  No, you don't respect my wishes.

Wife:  Yes, I do.  What do you mean?

Buddy:  Well,  I wish you would let him drink.


I am actually surprised my buddy lived through that conversation.

Quoted: Quoted: My buddy gives his kid beer, a few sips, everytime we drink.  Nothing major, and not enough for the kid to get tanked. May I be the first (and maybe last) and pardon my French and all but... that is so fucking stupid it's beyond belief. You should never watch a small child again and that friend is a fucking retard.

I think my thread made it clear about my qualifications to babysit?

Life happens, Mac.  I don't wear my halo as tight as some, and can laugh at myself when I screw up.  When you get finished walking on water and healing the sick, let us know, mmm-kay?

TRG

Quoted: Replace "Skoal" with "Drano" and the story changes from  your idea of funny to a more somber funeral. NEVER turn your back on a small child. Your buddy is an idiot for leaving a toddler with a drunk person. You are not much better for not keeping your eys on the child. Flame me all you want, but when it comes to kids, I get a little protective...even if they are not mine.

Yeah.

You can take any story, that involves a small child, and change it to something tragic, somber or full of grief.

"I was driving the kids home from the park, and Jimmy swallowed a penny."

This ain't about what coulda/woulda happened.  It is about what did happen.

He ate some Skoal.  Not some Drano.

If you want to wring your hands like some Sally Soccermom, feel free.  

TRG

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Replace "Skoal" with "Drano" and the story changes from  your idea of funny to a more somber funeral. NEVER turn your back on a small child. Your buddy is an idiot for leaving a toddler with a drunk person. You are not much better for not keeping your eys on the child. Flame me all you want, but when it comes to kids, I get a little protective...even if they are not mine. Yeah. You can take any story, that involves a small child, and change it to something tragic, somber or full of grief. "I was driving the kids home from the park, and Jimmy swallowed a penny." This ain't about what coulda/woulda happened.  It is about what did happen. He ate some Skoal.  Not some Drano. If you want to wring your hands like some Sally Soccermom, feel free.   TRG If you haven't already, go get a vasectomy.

ROFL

Buddy, I got the 'Ol Snip' about 6 years ago.  

Look, it ain't something to fight about.  Life happens. Either laugh and learn or just cry and wring your hands.

TRG

Quoted: That...is why no one should chew.  How can you, its so f-ing disgusting!  So is smoking too, but that shit stinks and tastes like shit!

It is a nasty habit.  

I get bored, I dip.

TRG

Quoted: Quoted: This ain't about what coulda/woulda happened.  It is about what did happen. He ate some Skoal.  Not some Drano. TRG Yes...it turned out OK...but he got the skoal when you were not paying attention. THAT is what I am getting at.  It did turn out ok, but it could have been a lot worse. I am not saying "ban Skoal...do it for the children"...I am preaching what we all seem to advocate. Supervision. We all blast the parents when some kid does something stupid..."Where were the parents...?" In my eyes, this is no different. With that, I will leave it that we don't see eye to eye on this.

That's a good idea.  It's all fun and games until some kid pokes their own eye out, then it's just hysterical.

TRG

Quoted:

That just about sums it up...

ROFL

TRG

Quoted: While it is a funny story and all, and I did not read the whole thread, you have got to know that nicotene is potentially dangerous to children. It is classified as a poison for children. Kinda' dangerous. But you've been chewed out enough, I guess. I have an adult male friend who swallowed a dip once on accident. He turned some really funny colors, green was my favorite, then he vomited quite violently Ya' had to be there to fully appreciate it.

I really don't think the kid actually ate much, if any, of it.

From the look on his face, he was not impressed with the Minty flavor of it.

TRG

Quoted: glad to see in a world in which we've eliminated all of our big predators, we still have the opportunity to experience a little natural selection now and then.

now, that's just funny!

TRG

Quoted: good thing you don't dip REAL snuff................

I dip Mint Skoal.  Commonly referred to as, Skoal Gay.

TRG

Quoted: No you have done it. The kid is gonna grow up wanting tobacco and beer.  Oh wait.....   That sounds pretty good right now.  Time for a trip to the stop-n-rob.

His mother was really happy when we took him to Bonedaddy's for lunch.  The watiresses just looked at us funny when we asked for a straw.  Told them the kid was too weak to lift the beer mugs...

TRG