www.newsday.com/news/columnists/ny-a3974521sep17,0,5506095.column?coll=ny-news-columnists

Houston, we’ve got no problem

September 17, 2004

'Joan of Arc would be a drunk if she were married to you!" said Sue Ellen to J.R. Ewing on the vintage TV series "Dallas."

Well, my friends, "Dallas" is coming back. The much-admired writer Robert Harling, who brought "Steel Magnolias" to the big screen, is busy as we speak on a "Dallas" feature film for 20th Century Fox. This one will stay off the well-known, small-screen plotlines that enthralled the world from 1978 to 1991. The big-screen version will be an establishing story, as epic as the classic "Giant," about the denizens of big-city and ranch-land Dallas, with famous stars recast in the leading roles.

Start your engines for Mel Gibson, John Travolta, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, et al. As for the women, well, start with someone like Catherine Zeta- Jones - there are almost too many divine Hollywood beauties to play those dashing Dallas women. And some mighty intriguing ideas for who would appear in the Barbara Bel Geddes role as Miss Ellie.

you nailed it - not much creative & original thought coming out of the loony bin these days - still must be full of cokehead producers/execs saying to each other "Yeah! that would be a GREAT idea"

How will they substitute special effects for plot in this one? Aliens land at South Fork?

I wonder if they'll show it in a double feature with the new "Dukes of Hazzard" movie? After all, "Dallas" aired on the same night (Friday), same network (CBS), and immediately after the television show "The Dukes of Hazzard."

No one can replace Victoria Principal. No one.

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