If you were an evil (ok are) person, how will you end the world?

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - If you were an evil (ok are) person, how will you end the world?

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:28:56 PM EDT

If you could have a specific type of weapon, that could do any thing to end the world, what would you make it do?

I've thought a lot about this, I would make it so that the sea life would become like the liberals. All sea life as we know it would die because of stupid policies and agendas. No sea creature would survive due to the new sea rules and way of life mandated by themselves. Since sea life would die, this would throw off the entire worlds eco system and thus slowley bring it to an end. I would put in a failsafe, if the world doesn't end within 10 years, I would make the same weapon have the effect on land animals as well. This includes all bugs, mammals etc. World peace with every creature, DESTRUCTION!

k, your turn.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:30:11 PM EDT

[#1]

Zombies.

Lots of Zombies.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:31:01 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Zombies.

Lots of Zombies.

shhhh....you're gonna give arfcommers wet dreams!

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:31:55 PM EDT

[#3]

I plan on turning on my garden hose and flooding planet just like proffesor CHAOS on south park.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:32:37 PM EDT

[#4]

Release an agent into the air, that makes all food cause flatulence, that is toxic. Everyone that smells a fart quietly falls asleep, and then dies.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:34:39 PM EDT

[#5]

i've thought about this many times. first, i would have it rain blood for three days. after the three days, i would change the blood to the most corrosive acid man has ever seen, killing everything.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:34:46 PM EDT

[#6]

Repeal all gun laws including NFA. Either the world will end from the flood of evil guns. Or the demon inside of Feinstine will leave its shell and rampage.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:35:33 PM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Repeal all gun laws including NFA. Either the world will end from the flood of evil guns. Or the demon inside of Feinstine will leave its shell and rampage.

That is flawed, we can kill it with our neat new toys.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:36:04 PM EDT

[#8]

Metagenic weapon that only affects liberals.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:36:57 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
I plan on turning on my garden hose and flooding planet just like proffesor CHAOS on south park.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:37:00 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Repeal all gun laws including NFA. Either the world will end from the flood of evil guns. Or the demon inside of Feinstine will leave its shell and rampage.

That is flawed, we can kill it with our neat new toys.

What if is a superdemon that pulls out the bullets and recycles the metals or some kind of other evil hippy thing.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:37:10 PM EDT

[#11]

Spontaneous Combustion.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:37:20 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Metagenic weapon that only affects liberals.

I said destroy the world, not save it

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:37:34 PM EDT

[#13]

Force everyone to watche episode after episode of Will & Grace with a table full of loaded pistols in front of them.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:37:50 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Repeal all gun laws including NFA. Either the world will end from the flood of evil guns. Or the demon inside of Feinstine will leave its shell and rampage.

That is flawed, we can kill it with our neat new toys.

What if is a superdemon that pulls out the bullets and recycles the metals or some kind of other evil hippy thing.

We can soak the bullets in pigs blood, demon dies, end of story.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:38:15 PM EDT

[#15]

I'm the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:40:34 PM EDT

[#16]

With a knife. One person at a time.

EDIT: Unfortunately, The Neutral Observer is not evil enough to be unconstrained by the limits of time and physics, so the question is moot.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:42:00 PM EDT

[#17]

My brother's vote is to replace all the fruit jelly in jelly donuts with Napalm jelly.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:42:47 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
My brother's vote is to replace all the fruit jelly in jelly donuts with Napalm jelly.

How would he light it? I thought napalm needs the power of thermite to ignite.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:42:51 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Metagenic weapon that only affects liberals.

I said destroy the world, not save it

Oh, well in that case....... allow Kerry to get elected!

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:43:44 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Metagenic weapon that only affects liberals.

I said destroy the world, not save it

Oh, well in that case....... allow Kerry to get elected!

Now that is a good way to end the world. Good choice. Here is a clown sticker you can put on your shirt.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:45:48 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Metagenic weapon that only affects liberals.

I said destroy the world, not save it

Oh, well in that case....... allow Kerry to get elected!

Now that is a good way to end the world. Good choice. Here is a clown sticker you can put on your shirt.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:47:02 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Quoted:
My brother's vote is to replace all the fruit jelly in jelly donuts with Napalm jelly.

How would he light it? I thought napalm needs the power of thermite to ignite.

Beats me. He's the one that thought it up.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:47:40 PM EDT

[#23]

I would leave it alone it seems to be doing a fine job on its own

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:48:05 PM EDT

[#24]

Killer zombie demon hippy cats, in H2s with Spinners.

Posted: 8/29/2004 8:48:12 PM EDT

[#25]

If I was interested in ending the world.....hmmmmm, probably vote for kerry.
Failing that....how about ban all firearms (including military and police)...and then legalize all drugs...total chaos wouldnt take long.

Posted: 8/29/2004 10:35:11 PM EDT

[#26]

Cause all technology to cease working beyond basic mechanical functions. No Computers, No electricty, just manual pumps or nature driven stuff like waterwheels

Make the beasts of the land (except dogs) revolt against man---you know like big giant bugs that eat people and swarms of Lion Headed locusts....And then release the zombie hordes

Smoke a fine cigar until my position is overrun by flesh eating tabby cats

Posted: 8/29/2004 10:47:56 PM EDT

[#27]

First take all of the ar15.com members and ther famleys to the moon that i have tera-formed to survivability
Then Send T2000's in to each city
Use telaporter beams to take people and drop them from up high/put them in the mareana's trench
Then have remotley piloted B-2's and B-1A's to carpet bomb with nukes
Then after the radiation has died down send teraformer teams to re-bild the planet
Elect my self "Life Overlord and Mod"

Posted: 8/29/2004 11:16:52 PM EDT

[#28]

Ramp up industrial Budweisser production and give the beer away free at gunshows. The resultant flatulence spike would yield rampant global warming, melt the polar icecaps and drown everyone. Aren't MA and CA unusually low-lying states... I hope so.

Posted: 8/29/2004 11:19:32 PM EDT

[#29]

Let Kerry win the election

Posted: 8/29/2004 11:22:22 PM EDT

[#30]

An Endless tape of "the Village People's Greatest Hits"

Posted: 8/29/2004 11:38:23 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
An Endless tape of "the Village People's Greatest Hits"

I can do the ymca for hours, bring the tequila.

Posted: 8/30/2004 5:38:12 AM EDT

[#32]

I can't decide between the gi-hugic rocket engine pushing the earth toward or away from the sun.

But I could save a few bucks with a smaller engine if I pushed the moon into the earth.

No. No style.

I'd spin the earth faster and faster.

How fast would the earth have to spin for gravity to be eliminated? (google-fu) 1 rotation every
1 hour and 24 minutes.

But I'll need a REALLY big engine to do this.

Posted: 8/30/2004 5:43:11 AM EDT

[#33]

Tough choice.....
Most likely I'd hit the Off button on either gravity or rotation. It would be cool to watch people slowly float away from the planet and freak out. Course, it'd be funny if the world instantly stopped spinning and watching people fly off the Earth at some 26,000 miles per hour too.....

Of course, giant meteor hitting the world and causing it to shatter would be pretty nifty to see too......

Ohhh, so many choices, so few planets.....

Posted: 8/30/2004 5:46:44 AM EDT

[#34]

Get back to work you SLACKERS!

Posted: 8/30/2004 6:01:16 AM EDT

[#35]

after secureing my secret lair and hireing a army of faceless loyal minions and establishing my harem of hot chics/ kung fu assassins I would find out which citys my arch foe was in and nuke the city from orbit( its the only way to be sure).
then with hillary in they white house by 2008 the U.S. would be stripped of any offenseive capablity thus, when I launch the stolen SS-20 missles from somewhere deep in siberia. the few generals left would act inaccorance with there absance of orders and lauch the counter strike. thus ensureing nulear winter. then my genticly altered half rat/ half roach human hybrids could go forth and wipe out the reamining human settlement in standard raving mutant fashion my brain waves tranfered into the matrix would then ensure my postion as dictator of the planet for life .

just my .2 cents

Posted: 8/30/2004 6:21:17 AM EDT

[#36]

Hemorrhagic fever...

Posted: 8/30/2004 6:29:21 AM EDT

[#37]

I would freeze the earths core. Which would destroy the Earths magnetic field, which would then destroy the atmosphere and hence all life as we know it.

Space radiation is bliss.

Posted: 8/30/2004 6:51:19 AM EDT

[#38]

I'd give frdmftr1 a gun and tell him to ONLY shoot the people who were plotting a major conspiracy to stop him from cashing his pay check. Of course that's everyone including himself.

Posted: 8/30/2004 6:58:12 AM EDT

[#39]

There's a website that is designed for this very purpose!

Go check out : members.tripod.com/~mrpuzuzu/cgi-bin/plan.pl

Here's the Evil Plan it generated for me...

---
Congratulations on being the creator of a new Evil Plan (tm)!
Your objective is simple: Destroy the Earth
Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure

Stage One:

To begin your plan, you must first Assassinate a Senator. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Evil Genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in Classic Black?

Stage Two:

Next, you will Destroy the Eiffel Tower. This will cause countless hordes of Robot Warriors to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Evil, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.

Stage Three:

Finally, you will Covertly Move your Secret Death Ray, bringing about the End of All Things. This will all be done from a Obsidian Citadel, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.

Posted: 8/30/2004 7:46:58 AM EDT

[#40]

I would make my weapon ooze hot marshmallow across the globe. After everything is consumed within it, it would then stop oozing and start to harden. Once that's done, my weapon would then begin the change of all the material the earth's made of and turn it into Hershey's dark chocolate.

Then in a final act of lunacy, the entire thing would be wrapped in green and blue swirled tinfoil.

Posted: 8/30/2004 8:01:09 AM EDT

[#41]

Spread a virus that is painless, but absolutely 100% fatal to humans only. Then the earth might have a chance. Hopefully everyting would return to it's natural balance after a while.

Posted: 8/30/2004 8:41:32 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
Spread a virus that is painless, but absolutely 100% fatal to humans only. Then the earth might have a chance. Hopefully everyting would return to it's natural balance after a while.

That's a good one, but that's just a EOTW for mankind only.

If my other idea doesn't seem feasible enough... I'd have scientists create giant chickens and let them roam free. That would be fun!

Posted: 8/30/2004 8:43:25 AM EDT

[#43]

Giant chickens would only work if you took away all firearms and personal weapons. Unless they were like 1200 feet tall.

Posted: 8/30/2004 8:54:25 AM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Metagenic weapon that only affects liberals.

I said destroy the world, not save it

Oh, well in that case....... allow Kerry to get elected!

BINGO!!! Johnny we have a winner!!!!!!

Posted: 8/30/2004 8:56:23 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
I plan on turning on my garden hose and flooding planet just like proffesor CHAOS on south park.

Darn! Somebody beat me to it!

Posted: 8/30/2004 9:04:52 AM EDT

[#46]

Fill the oceans with sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads

Posted: 8/30/2004 9:15:09 AM EDT

[#47]

Stage 1 - Infomercials on all channels on all TV's 24 x 7 with off switches and remote controls disabled.

Stage 2 - Transmogrify all women into Hillary Clinton clones, unable to wear clothes, save for steel-toed construction boots.

Stage 3 - Tele-mutate all liquid consumables into warm Blatz

Stage 4 - Give out free McDonald's sausage McTimeBombs to all after secretly clogging all toilets

Stage 5 - Redirect ALL URL's to DU, everyone must read and agree with all posts or Michael Moore will eat them.

Posted: 8/30/2004 9:18:24 AM EDT

[#48]

I would invent/create something that would cause ice to sink.

Posted: 8/30/2004 9:42:15 AM EDT

[#49]

Eliminate friction.

CW

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - If you were an evil (ok are) person, how will you end the world?

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