Has your wife/sig. other ever . . .

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Has your wife/sig. other ever . . . (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:06:40 PM EDT

accused you of cheating when you didn't?

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:08:19 PM EDT

[#1]

Yup......

And she used it as an excuse to leave me.

I proved otherwise to her, but she left anyways.

Thats why I called it an excuse, and not a reason. I believe that she wanted to leave, came up with that excuse and then no amount of logic and reasoning afterwards would convince her. Hence why I think it was just an excuse.

She also has lots of other emotional and mental issues so I really am not supprised.

Chris

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:08:58 PM EDT

[#2]

Yes, all the time. It really pisses me off. The other days she found a pair of my underware in the guest bedroom. I have no idea how they got there. She asks who I've been with in there! I have all the stress of someone having an affair, without the sex! At least some sex would make it somewhat pleasurable.

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:09:00 PM EDT

[#3]

I only ask because I'm in the middle of this ridiculous BULLSHIT now!!!!!

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:12:49 PM EDT

[#4]

Grumpy - exact same story here.

Good riddence.

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:14:54 PM EDT

[#5]

I broke up with a girl 3 years ago that to the best of my knowledge, still believes I left her for someone else, despite the fact that I didn't date anyone at all for well over a year after I broke up with her.

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:18:24 PM EDT

[#6]

Had a girlfriend once who tried that shit.

Told her If I was going to be damed for guilty pretty soon I'd damn sure be guilty.

Damed if it wasn't long (about 2 hrs) before I WAS guilty.

The relationship didn't last and boy am I glad. I've been married to a great lady for 16 years now (my first and only wife) and she doesn't try that crap. I told her the story when we were dating.

Let her know then Make a decison.

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:20:33 PM EDT

[#7]

Damnit, I don't even have a sig.

I'd prefer a Sig 220 tho. At least I can afford to feed that one

- BUCC_Guy

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:27:36 PM EDT

[#8]

My ex did that. She considered talking on the internet with girls that lived in other states that I'd been friends with for years "cheating". I signed up for a hotmail account to subscribe to an online mailing list for Sportsters, she accused me of cheating. I made friends with the secretary at work (a 200 lbs cuban girl that was married and had kids) and she accused me of cheating.

How ironic that she started emailing and chatting with a guy that she met at a wedding she was in (I was at this wedding and even met the prick). How ironic that after we broke up and she moved to Philly she moved in with him. How fucking entertaining when shit fell apart with him (he had serious rage issues and was dealing weed) she wanted to cry on my shoulder. How satisfying that I gave her the cold shoulder.

Bottom line? In my experience people accuse others of cheating because they are either doing it themselves, or are thinking of doing it. It's human nature to always assume that others have the same mindset/motivations/thoughts as you do.

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:29:24 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
My ex did that. She considered talking on the internet with girls that lived in other states that I'd been friends with for years "cheating". I signed up for a hotmail account to subscribe to an online mailing list for Sportsters, she accused me of cheating. I made friends with the secretary at work (a 200 lbs cuban girl that was married and had kids) and she accused me of cheating.

How ironic that she started emailing and chatting with a guy that she met at a wedding she was in (I was at this wedding and even met the prick). How ironic that after we broke up and she moved to Philly she moved in with him. How fucking entertaining when shit fell apart with him (he had serious rage issues and was dealing weed) she wanted to cry on my shoulder. How satisfying that I gave her the cold shoulder.

Bottom line? In my experience people accuse others of cheating because they are either doing it themselves, or are thinking of doing it. It's human nature to always assume that others have the same mindset/motivations/thoughts as you do.

Yup.....when you suspect someone else of something, for no real reason...look in the mirror. Look close enough, and you won't like what you see.

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:31:36 PM EDT

[#10]

Mine accused me enough that I finally did.

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:35:19 PM EDT

[#11]

My girlfriend had a dream that I cheated one nite and smacked me in the back and woke me up.
I asked her WTF and she said I cheated on her. Next question "when and with who and did I look to be having fun?" Her answer "ASSHOLE!" I rolled over and went back to sleep. Told in the morning that she better trust me or leave. I am do damn loyal to cheat and I personaly don't condone it, but that is my feelings..

Ung.....out

PS. edited for bad grammar

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:39:36 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Mine accused me enough that I finally did.

+1

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:43:05 PM EDT

[#13]

Nope, never. Neither I nor my wife have ever asked the other if we cheated. We never have either. I really do feel sorry for you guys that have gone thru this. My heart goes out to you.

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:46:41 PM EDT

[#14]

Projectionism - look it up or re-read Norman74's post.

Posted: 8/22/2004 4:59:15 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Yes, all the time. It really pisses me off. The other days she found a pair of my underware in the guest bedroom. I have no idea how they got there. She asks who I've been with in there! I have all the stress of someone having an affair, without the sex! At least some sex would make it somewhat pleasurable.

Dude, that's seriously not good. If she's that insecure, she'll probably start cheating on you. BTDT.

Posted: 8/22/2004 5:09:59 PM EDT

[#16]

Yeah, my wife has accused me of it. I barely have enought time to go to work and come home to take care of her. She is on disability and is home bound most of the time. Everything I do is for her, then she accuses me of this crap. It really pisses me off.

Posted: 8/22/2004 5:16:22 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
I only ask because I'm in the middle of this ridiculous BULLSHIT now!!!!!

Yer not gonna like this but....

She prolly figgers if you'll bang her without making teh commitment of marriage, then commitment ain't nuthin' to you, and you'll prolly bang other women WHILE you are with her.

Admittedly, she's doin the same thing you are doing, but people NEVER think they are doing something wrong. Its always the OTHER GUY that's the dirtbag.

Posted: 8/22/2004 5:19:31 PM EDT

[#18]

I was married to one that did that shit all the time. I never did cheat, but you can guess who ended up leaving for someone else in the end.

Posted: 8/22/2004 5:23:29 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
accused you of cheating when you didn't?

No. Every time I was accused, I was guilty.

Seriously, no. We try to avoid situations that might make each other jealous; I think that helps.

Posted: 8/22/2004 5:24:06 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
I only ask because I'm in the middle of this ridiculous BULLSHIT now!!!!!

Think that it is time to cut an run. Advise her that if she trusts you so little that you do not think that there is any where left to go in the relationship other than out. She will either shut up or go, either way you will be better off.

Posted: 8/22/2004 5:25:47 PM EDT

[#21]

I do feel sorry for you guys. In the 20 years we have been married I have never accused my husband of that. He is very loyal and wouldn't even think of it.

Posted: 8/22/2004 5:31:45 PM EDT

[#22]

Nope.

Step one: Find damn good woman.
Step two: Avoid impropriety and the appearance of impropriety.
Step three: Work 80-120 hours a week. Makes you focus on what's important.

Posted: 8/22/2004 5:34:15 PM EDT

[#23]

I am too busy.

Posted: 8/22/2004 5:40:05 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
I do feel sorry for you guys. In the 20 years we have been married I have never accused my husband of that. He is very loyal and wouldn't even think of it.

I am a loyal and very committed kind of guy too.

But that didn't stop my soon to be ex from accusing me of having an affair while she was in the middle of her own affair with one of her patients. (She is a registered nurse at a mental hospital by the way.)

We even faced some very hard times together where a lesser man would have left her. But I didn't. She was severely hurt during the birth of our daughter and was wheelchair bound for many months. Our family life took a dive, she withdrew, I withdrew, but I was still committed to her no matter what. I planned on growing old with her.

Look where my commitment and loyalty got me.

Trust is a hard thing for me to develop these days.

And suprisingly enough, I am not bitter about it. I now recognize that she did what she felt she had to do, and I am better off for it. Although our children are the ones who are really paying for her infidelity and poor decisions. I wish there was more I could do about it, but she and the courts won't let me.

Chris

Posted: 8/22/2004 6:42:16 PM EDT

[#25]

my ex GF had jealousy issues. man, that pissed me off. she was the first to go out with someone new after we broke up this summer..even though she "loved me more than i loved her.." ,etc ad nauseum. fuck that looney tune bullshit. i would never have cheated on her but i was dumb enough to put up with her crap for a few years.

Posted: 8/22/2004 7:45:19 PM EDT

[#26]

Not only was I innocent, she tried to cut my Willy off.

Posted: 8/22/2004 9:12:55 PM EDT

[#27]

I have an opposite situation. I was engaged to a woman who went to visit a friend in NY and i had this feeling that she was gonna see an ex. Sure enough I was right. so I flew my ex out from NY and we screwed around. When my fiance came back she told me that she didnt know if she wanted the relationship anymore and she cant make up her mind. I told her that I was gonna make it easy for her, "Pack your stuff and leave the ring on the counter... Oh and while you were in NY, Maddy flew out and we screwed on the couch"

She didnt believe me..... BITCH!

Posted: 8/22/2004 9:15:14 PM EDT

[#28]

I learned that if they accuse you of something like that, they are more than likley guilty of it themselves

Posted: 8/22/2004 9:25:03 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
I learned that if they accuse you of something like that, they are more than likley guilty of it themselves

Oh My God!!!

My wife accused me of cheating several times. It never happened. I had many chances, was hit on hard by several "friends", but I NEVER cheated.

My wife did.

Our divorce is final on 9/11.

Posted: 8/22/2004 9:28:49 PM EDT

[#30]

ETA Wrong post

GM

Posted: 8/22/2004 11:31:32 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
I learned that if they accuse you of something like that, they are more than likley guilty of it themselves

isn't there a similar saying that goes "only liars expect others to be dishonest" ??? i said that to my ex when we were talking one night. i guess her mom had said the same thing to her.

Posted: 8/22/2004 11:35:58 PM EDT

[#32]

I get accused all the tiem. It always makes for an interesting night. Have lots of friends that are women.

Posted: 8/22/2004 11:51:47 PM EDT

[#33]

Yes. And no I wasn't.

Posted: 8/23/2004 12:26:14 AM EDT

[#34]

Towards the end, she was never home long enough to accuse me of anything.
Up to that point, when she was home and had a few, I was in for it.
Now that I'm "free", I fear I may run into another psyco from hell...need a carfax, only for women.
I keep saying "never again".

Posted: 8/23/2004 3:54:23 AM EDT

[#35]

ok now for the flip side. What is it that you are doing to make her think you are?
yes I accused my ex of this and he denied and denied so on and so on said I was crazy. Long story extreamly short. Well he was. So make her feel important do thoes little extra things for her that you used to do.

Posted: 8/23/2004 4:48:25 AM EDT

[#36]

Judging from my vast experience with women which has taught me absolutley nothing, I'd say she is either looking for an excuse to leave you, start an argument and leave you or she is seeing someone and thinks you're doing the same. There is one other possibility. That someone trying to come between you has planted that idea in her mind in order to split you up. Just my opinion.

Posted: 8/23/2004 4:49:59 AM EDT

[#37]

Nope.

Posted: 8/23/2004 4:52:50 AM EDT

[#38]

www.nomariage.com

Posted: 8/23/2004 6:21:57 AM EDT

[#39]

I had a girlfriend and she suggested we car pool to work. Since I drove right past her office it was a fine idea, so I agreed. She would drive over to my house in the AM, I would drop her off on the way to work and pick her up on the way home.

A huge benifit for me was her wanting to please me while stuck in the normal stop and go traffic. She would slop the knob without out me even hinting just about EVERYDAY on the drive home. I was a happy camper and couldnt figure out why the sudden interest in road head. Well it turns out she was checking to see if I was banging my assistant at lunch time. The girlfriend thought she would taste or smell the other woman somehow. Although the girlfriend NEVER came right out and accused me she was did hint at it why she was happy to please.

Oh I did dump her after she cheated.............

Posted: 8/25/2004 7:39:36 AM EDT

[#40]

Grumpy..... Hopefully you will find someone that will return your loyalty just the same. I believed in the for better for worse part too. I took my marriage vows seriously,and we have had our times where our marriage has been tested,but we made it through and I think has made us stronger as a couple. Eventually you will be able to trust again, and find that it will be reciprocated. I wish you the best and just know that there are decent women out there.

Posted: 8/25/2004 7:40:01 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
Nope.

Posted: 8/25/2004 7:48:46 AM EDT

[#42]

I lived with a girl years ago and get this-she was a truly intelligent blonde-but had serious jealousy issues.

She'd accuse me of cheating if I came home 20-30minutes later than I said I would from hunting or fishing.

She NEVER had a good time if I took her out drinking with me and my friends, even though I went out of my way to pay attention to her and include her in our conversations. But if I went out without her, LOOK OUT when I came home.

Actually, in the final months of our relationship I DID cheat on her, but the writing was already on the wall and dried in regard to our relationship.

Shit, if it hadn't been for her ADMITTED jealousy problem I'd likely still be living in St. Louis, married with kids.

She was HOT and VERY UNINHIBITED between-or on top of-the sheets.

Posted: 8/25/2004 8:12:04 AM EDT

[#43]

Only once. I use drop cloths laid out in front of the fireplaces so I don't get any soot on the floor when I'm sweeping them out. On one particular day, one of my customers had a very messy living room. When I rolled up my drop cloth a pair of girls panties got rolled up with it.

Just so happened that it was my last appointment for the day and when I got home I decided to wash my drop cloths. When the wife saw the panties she started quizzing me. I called my customer and asked if she had a daughter and if so, could a pair of pink panties with flowers on them be hers and might have been laying in the living room floor while I was there. It was confirmed---with a whole lot of embarassment mixed with laughter that they were indeed her 9 yr/o daughters.

My ex is petite. 5'1" and 95 lbs. so she would have been able to wear those panties and just didn't believe me that they had to be some little girls. Had my customer on speaker phone so she could hear the conversation.

Afterwards she told me I was off the hook this time. That's when I told her that if she ever accused me of cheating on her again, after she had already had an afair on me 3 years before, she could pack her crap and get out.

Two years later she decided she didn't like me owning my own business and wanted me to go back to school full time to get a "real" job. She ain't here no more.

Take the hint. If she's accusing you of cheating on her she doesn't trust you. If you don't have her trust your marriage is on the down slope. Get counseling or cut the strings.

Posted: 8/25/2004 8:29:45 AM EDT

[#44]

Never been accused and never made that accusation. I trust my hubby. I have dreamed that he cheated on me and woke up ready to kill him, but that was when I was pregnant. I was also aware that it was a dream.

Posted: 8/25/2004 3:38:17 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
Never been accused and never made that accusation. I trust my hubby. I have dreamed that he cheated on me and woke up ready to kill him, but that was when I was pregnant. I was also aware that it was a dream.

LOL!!!

My ex slugged me after a dream like that!

Posted: 8/25/2004 3:45:32 PM EDT

[#46]

No never.

Posted: 8/25/2004 4:02:28 PM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Yes, all the time. It really pisses me off. The other days she found a pair of my underware in the guest bedroom. I have no idea how they got there. She asks who I've been with in there! I have all the stress of someone having an affair, without the sex! At least some sex would make it somewhat pleasurable.

Heh - Try to explain some PANTIES in the guest room - PANTIES. She wasnt all that concerned with the "extramarital sex" per se, it was the fact that I concealed it from her. A trust issue.

Odd heh - especially since there was no concealment - there was no goings on. I indicated I was as bewildered and kinda paranoid (dont like finding things I cant explain in my house) as she was. And that was it - we do trust each other since we are open and commited. /hallmarkmodeoff/

Turns out it was left over from our baby sitter the weekend before (dont get ideas - wife and I were out of town - together) She saw them in the mudroom couple of days later and claimed them. (NO idea WHY they were kept)

Turned out nicely. of course I lost all advantage, when I suggested, since she had so little issue with the "sex" part,as long as I cleared it with her, I could stray a bit.

How DO you prove a negative.

Luck
Alac