Swingset,
Yes, money does enter into the equation. A lawsuit or the threat of a lawsuit is often used as a means of making institutional changes. Often, just being mad about something you see as a contributing factor will ultimately have no impact. Please keep in mind this is from the perspective of people who have suffered a devastating loss.
The money from a law suit is seen as:
1. Proof that they were wronged and that their child was someone not entirely responsible. What more would anyone want to back up their contentions than a jury of 12 deciding that someone else was to blame. I am long past this mindset; for most people, it is a brief perception. You learn to accept the reality and move on from there.
2. A means of providing a less stressful lifestyle. I went back to work two weeks after my son's death. I was pretty much useles for a full year. Fortunately, the family I work for had suffered from some tragic and untimely deaths and understand the impact that has on the survivors. Anywhere else and I would have been terminated for lack of productivity. I was very fortunate and to this day I am deeply appreciative of the patience of the Family.
3. There are almost always desires to memorialize the deceased in the form of a foundation or scholarships. In a way this is grief-driven, revisionist history. Rather than having your kid remembered as the cause of their own death, they are remembered as the inspiration for good works. Again, this is just a coping mechanism.
Very few of these lawsuits ever go anywhere. Yes, I filed a lawsuit. After about a year our lawyer decided that he wasn't going to go forward with it because the prospects of winning were slim. The lawyers are in it for the money. I no longer had the stomach for a court fight; the fact that my son was entirely responsible for his deadly decision was just too obvious to me. I was willing to let it die there. It was not a unanimous decision. For an alternative opinion you would need to speak to my future ex-wife, if you can locate her.
Wrongful death lawsuits are ugly and they often mask a great deal of pain, loss, and emotional confusion. When someone loses a child, you really need to give them a pass on any actions that appear illogical, pointless or even greedy. At least do so for a while. Most folks jump off that train as time passes; some hang on forever as it becomes their reason for living.
Pray that you never, ever have to bury one of your children.