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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:24:49 PM EDT
[#1]
The inability to trust farts.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:26:03 PM EDT
[#2]
Hemorrhoids. Anal fissures. Anal warts. Saggy balls. Skin tags and homosexual tendencies??
Oh wait...... |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:27:31 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The inability to trust farts. Unfortunately this. 
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:28:24 PM EDT
[#4]
Getting old ain’t for pussies.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:28:51 PM EDT
[#5]
I heard old folks joking about aches & pains...it ain't no joke.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:29:09 PM EDT
[#6]
Aches
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:29:20 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The inability to trust farts. I had one that just wouldn’t come out last night. I thought it was about to be the first fart birthed by c section. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:29:38 PM EDT
[#8]
Apparently injuring yourself in your sleep is a thing...
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:30:48 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I heard old folks joking about aches & pains...it ain't no joke. School nurse running down the symptoms of Covid. I asked, so other than fever, how am I supposed to know the difference??? |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:30:57 PM EDT
[#10]
For the past 20 or so years I've spent an awful lot of time working with geriatrics. For the first 5-7 of those years it was mostly with advanced dementia (Alzheimers) patients.
There is a book out there on geriatrics, if I find it I will post - the shit is sobering, sad but at the same time, it is what we get if we are lucky to live that long. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:30:59 PM EDT
[#11]
I've had problems with it since I was rear-ended at a light in town last year. They said after I started having issues that its just part of the aging process that was exacerbated by the collision.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:32:14 PM EDT
[#12]
Things they never tell you?
Huh... my dad seems to talk non-stop about this condition or that one... and for some reason, all the elderly folks I know talk a lot about pooping issues... |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:34:21 PM EDT
[#13]
Your balls start to hang really low.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:36:20 PM EDT
[#14]
That our Republic has been deteriorating for many decades.
Since long before any of us were born |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:36:54 PM EDT
[#15]
"Burning the midnight oil" means staying up past 11 PM.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:37:16 PM EDT
[#16]
That the older you get the more meds you're on. I already use my former beer money for prescriptions.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:37:52 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: "Burning the midnight oil" means staying up past 11 PM. LOL. And you start waking up at the time you used to go to bed. 
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:38:08 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Your balls start to hang really low. How do you hang your balls? Do your balls hang low? Do you tie them with a ribbon? Do you tie them with a bow? Do you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your balls hang low? |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:39:07 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Your balls start to hang really low. No, the toilet water is just too high. 
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:39:11 PM EDT
[#20]
I do have to say, though, proudly--that my last lab test showed a perfectly normal PSA and Testosterone levels.
 Attached File |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:40:13 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The inability to trust farts. Definition of a surprise... A fart with a lump in it. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:40:41 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I've had problems with it since I was rear-ended at a light in town last year. They said after I started having issues that its just part of the aging process that was exacerbated by the collision. Yeah. I fell on the ice a couple of times a few weeks ago trying to walk up to my cabin when I couldn't drive up. That may have kicked it off. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:41:17 PM EDT
[#23]
Gettin' some strange means putting some whey protein powder in your oatmeal.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:41:53 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The inability to trust farts. I'm not allowed to fart. My girlfriend's motto is "Til fart do us part." 
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:43:00 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Your balls start to hang really low. Can you swing 'em to and fro? |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:43:06 PM EDT
[#26]
Sitting in a doctors lobby is like a high school reunion.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:44:07 PM EDT
[#27]
Viscosity of saliva seems thicker.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:45:42 PM EDT
[#28]
It use to be one bad day a week and then went to two or three bad days a week. Now I just hope for one or two days a week not feeling like total crap.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:46:20 PM EDT
[#29]
Your cakfro gets out of control. Why is this not taught in phys ed?
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:46:22 PM EDT
[#30]
A desire to wear New Balance and Jean shorts.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:49:29 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Apparently injuring yourself in your sleep is a thing... Pretty much. I also got hurt while reading the other day. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:50:13 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Your balls start to hang really low. ahh, muh balls has been said a few times recently |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:51:04 PM EDT
[#33]
I bleed much easier than I used to. Worked on cars all the time when I was younger and scraped knuckles were common. Now it seems that anytime I work on anything, the smallest scratch will have me bleeding like a stuck hog.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:51:21 PM EDT
[#34]
As you age the global IQ seems to drop.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:52:10 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Getting old ain't for pussies. 
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:52:56 PM EDT
[#36]
losing friends, family
seeing generational changes in society those GDFing clouds... longer to heal body failing fucking clouds cognitive decline, memory loss, mammary gain getting fingered and those fucking clouds getting old is not for the weak. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:54:31 PM EDT
[#37]
Your feet get bigger due to your arches falling.
That really messed with my cache of shoes as I thought shoe size would stay constant. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:54:31 PM EDT
[#38]
Waking up feeling worse than when I went to sleep.
Apparently the bed is my enemy now. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:58:44 PM EDT
[#39]
Damn I had one but just forgot it.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 6:58:45 PM EDT
[#40]
I'm only 41, so nothing is broken yet.
I was pretty fuckin' fat there for a while (with high blood pressure, and terrible blood work in general), but I went and fixed all that (diet and exercise). I'm actually in better health than I was at 31.  About the only thing I've noticed, is that when I do get hurt, it takes a bit longer to get over it than it used to. Also - my eyesight isn't what it once was. I'm not at the point of needing reading glasses just yet, but I'm pretty sure I will be 5 years from now. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:00:11 PM EDT
[#41]
Ghost pains
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:00:17 PM EDT
[#42]
Your boots get heavy, your pants get tight, your balls they swing from the left to the right, to the left, to the left, to the left right left.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:00:40 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm only 41, so nothing is broken yet. I was pretty fuckin' fat there for a while (with high blood pressure, and terrible blood work in general), but I went and fixed all that (diet and exercise). I'm actually in better health than I was at 31. About the only thing I've noticed, is that when I do get hurt, it takes a bit longer to get over it than it used to. Also - my eyesight isn't what it once was. I'm not at the point of needing reading glasses just yet, but I'm pretty sure I will be 5 years from now. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:01:53 PM EDT
[#44]
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:03:07 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Your feet get bigger due to your arches falling. That really messed with my cache of shoes as I thought shoe size would stay constant. That must be right as I'm up to a size 15 now from 11 in the army. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:04:27 PM EDT
[#46]
When I was young I could piss the bark off a tree. Now sometimes I'm lucky to get it past my toes on the last dribbles.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:04:38 PM EDT
[#47]
Losing altitude. Went to the doc for my six month check up, nurse told me to step on the scale (BTW, new nurse is about 5'0" 100 lbs, nice little rack and a phenomenal ass) but I digress.
I have been 5'10" for as long as I can remember. She calls out, "5'9"" Wait, what?! I'm an inch shorter? Apparently my deteriorating discs are REALLY deteriorating. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:08:30 PM EDT
[#48]
I'm 68.
Everyday it's new aches and pains, that I've never had before. The worse part is coming to the realization of how old you really are. |
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:09:52 PM EDT
[#49]
I shot a PRS match a few weeks back and I thought some of the positional stuff is what made me sore. THEN I remembered my heel slipping on the bottom step on the motorhome and me ending up in a pile on the ground. Thank goodness it wasn't the match. Now I hurt because I was on the tractor all day yesterday and today. It's like I'm vibrating and can't stop. Now we get to the FUN part,,being on BP medicine If I even mildly bump the back of my hand on something I get a bruise. My hands look like they've been in a car wreck. Oh well,,,In general I'm doing pretty good just keeping on keeping on. My little tractor and seven large loads of road base will be an issue tomorrow I suspect. Only about 10 hours left on the tractor to finish resurfacing our road. It's about a half mile in length and getting it REALLY smooth and level takes a LOT of seat time.
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Posted: 2/25/2021 7:10:49 PM EDT
[#50]
Quoted: Vitreous detachment. It happens to everyone at some point as you age, it seems. I just spent half the day between my regular eye docs and a retina specialist getting checked out. Crazy stuff. Weird flashes at night, floaters. No retinal tear at the moment. Go back in two weeks. Been there....done that....both eyes I didn't have detached Retinas but I had HUGE floaters There were a couple of times I wished that I weren't behind the wheel in traffic. I had Vitreous fluid replacement, then new lenses. Except for the reading glasses, I can see like I was 30 again  |
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