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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:54:01 PM EDT
[#1]
Down's syndrome is a real risk, as well as all the other stuff with a geriatric pregnancy
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:55:11 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Down's syndrome is a real risk, as well as all the other stuff with a geriatric pregnancy |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:55:34 PM EDT
[#3]
There are very serious medical risks for both her and the baby. I suggest you do a ton of research on them and decide together. No one else can make that decision for you.
IMO your adopted child IS your child. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:55:41 PM EDT
[#4]
Glad I fucked those ideas out of my wife when we were young.
It only took four tries. 
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:56:05 PM EDT
[#5]
Andes I belive are slim.
Just keep pumping away. Chances are it won’t happen or it might. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:56:05 PM EDT
[#6]
get her a puppy
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:56:13 PM EDT
[#7]
get some genetic testing like CF, SMA etc...
good luck to you, my wife had our 2nd child at 42 and he's perfectly healthy and happy at 9 months old, 97 percentile in height too |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:56:14 PM EDT
[#8]
Is she ok with terminating a pregnancy due to severe birth defects or retardation?
If not, probably not good to risk. Talk about rolling the dice with life, whew. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:56:21 PM EDT
[#9]
Pregnancy is always a risk. Young, seemingly healthy women die even with today's medical tech. Pregnancy gets riskier the older you are. Have her discuss with her OB/GYN. They can cover all the risk factors with her.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:56:29 PM EDT
[#10]
My wife also talking about another one.
After the problems she had with the last one i told her NO more. She was 34. 38 yrs old now. Chance of problems to both mama and baby are to great for me. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:56:55 PM EDT
[#11]
Just don't do it
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:57:10 PM EDT
[#12]
I would advise against it. After 40 the risks can be significant. Do your own research, and be comfortable with whatever you choose, but I would strongly suggest reconsidering it.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:57:11 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Down's syndrome is a real risk, as well as all the other stuff with a geriatric pregnancy Also babies/toddlers would suck to run behind in your 40s |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:59:52 PM EDT
[#14]
To risky. Even if everything tests out fine autism and retardation sometimes don’t show up until 1-3yo.
Adopt. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 8:59:53 PM EDT
[#15]
Nope. Im almost 40 w/ a 4yr and 7yr old. Nope nope nope!
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:04:28 PM EDT
[#16]
Life itself is risky, only you can determine how to proceed - my random opinion is to consult an appropriate and experienced medical professional at the very least.
This is not a risk I would take in your shoes, but... I’m not you. Either way, good luck! |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:04:40 PM EDT
[#17]
My wife and I are your age and wouldn’t even consider it.
Here in the Bay Area there are many 40 year olds pushing baby strollers. So many adverse health risks for mom and baby. They’re nuts. At this point, it’d be adoption. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:06:44 PM EDT
[#18]
Are there any good graphs/charts of risks vs. age?
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:06:44 PM EDT
[#19]
I wouldn’t want my wife having one past 40.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:07:25 PM EDT
[#20]
32 with a 5 year old and no more. I got it right the first time. Good luck bub
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:07:26 PM EDT
[#21]
40+ is too much of a risk for me. My aunt wanted a baby so bad and she didn’t get married until she was 40. They get pregnant and have a set of beautiful twins. The worst part was she died minutes after giving birth. There’s been a void in our family ever since.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:07:34 PM EDT
[#22]
Life has a 100% mortality rate.
Have kids, show them the world. Love them. Nothing is better than your children hugging you and telling you they love YOU. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:08:32 PM EDT
[#23]
I'm 40 and wife is 43... no way in hell we would start that process at this point.
Of course, it's easy to say with 2 of my own already |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:08:43 PM EDT
[#24]
We folks in our 40s no longer have the energy for youngsters. You get out and play with your kids, skip sleep often and work overtime for vacations. We do that in our 20s and early 30s. Not now. No way.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:09:04 PM EDT
[#25]
No way I'd do it at that age.
But my brother did. He's doing all right with it. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:09:44 PM EDT
[#26]
Take it from someone who will probably not have kids, please do it, or at least try.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:10:42 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We folks in our 40s no longer have the energy for youngsters. You get out and play with your kids, skip sleep often and work overtime for vacations. We do that in our 20s and early 30s. Not now. No way. 
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:12:19 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm in my 40s and doing it. It's fine. Forever young, forever retarded |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:12:20 PM EDT
[#29]
I do too.
I’m early 50s and my youngest is 22. I want to raise at least another child. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:14:47 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
There are very serious medical risks for both her and the baby. I suggest you do a ton of research on them and decide together. No one else can make that decision for you. IMO your adopted child IS your child. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:14:50 PM EDT
[#31]
59 years old and having to deal with the daily drama of a 15 year old under your roof?
Nope. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:16:47 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Life has a 100% mortality rate. Have kids, show them the world. Love them. Nothing is better than your children hugging you and telling you they love YOU. I've never seen anything more painful that parents in NICU watching over a premature baby with severe complications, writing in pain, knowing it had only a few days or weeks of misery to live. Bringing a child into the world with serious defects doesnt make you a virtuous person. I'll leave it at that. Of course, plenty of normal-age couples have complicated pregnancies and births as well - but the odds are significantly better. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:17:28 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This...maybe adopt? She’s gonna be in her 60s when that kid is graduating high school and that would suck Also babies/toddlers would suck to run behind in your 40s |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:17:53 PM EDT
[#34]
No one's told to OP to eject yet?
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:18:43 PM EDT
[#35]
You want a Downsey kid? cause that's how you get a Downsey kid. Why not use a surrogate?
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:19:52 PM EDT
[#36]
Buy her a Glock 43 and call it good.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:19:52 PM EDT
[#37]
I had my second at 38. Wifey is the same age. I wouldn't want to do it any older if I had a choice. I'm mostly concerned about how old I'll be when they get to high school.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:20:41 PM EDT
[#38]
It definitely seems more common. My wife's doc farmed out a few of the early middle appointments to a different doctor that specializes in geriatric. 10 weeks to go, everything has been normal and no problems.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:21:04 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm in my 40s and doing it. It's fine. Forever young, forever retarded 
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:21:24 PM EDT
[#40]
Not optimal age is an understatement.
Also, complications are much more likely at that age. I'd pray about it, I'd ask for wisdom and guidance concerning the matter. Perhaps seek the counsel of older wiser men and wemon you respect and trust. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:21:47 PM EDT
[#41]
Quoted:
long story short, we never had biological kids because we fostered a deceased friend's kid in our late 20s and 30s. We talked about it maybe 8 years ago, and decided that the foster was essentially our child, since my wife helped her friend raise her from birth until the mom died. but now she's been dropping hints. Lots of "you know, we could have one of those" when she sees a baby or toddler. one of her friends is pregnant at 38 and I think that got her thinking. how screwed am I? I know 43 is not an optimum age. If she insists on it, she absolutely could get donated eggs that are fertilized with your sperm. Talk to a fertility specialist. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:22:36 PM EDT
[#42]
40, and #1 will be here in september. There goes my peace and quiet.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:22:41 PM EDT
[#43]
I’m not far off, 38 and we’ve got a baby now-she wants another (#3) idk I’d be pushing 40 when the baby was born.
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:22:42 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
There are very serious medical risks for both her and the baby. I suggest you do a ton of research on them and decide together. No one else can make that decision for you. IMO your adopted child IS your child. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:24:14 PM EDT
[#45]
Well my son will be 16 next week and the wife was 42 when we got pregnant. Here's the deal though. Look at the fertility vs age charts. You are about the win the lottery level of luck with her at that age. You have to get expensive shots to stimulate all of her chemistry to start working hard. My wife had to inject herself in the the stomach with this stuff that was about $1k a pop 16 years ago. One shot=$1k. No idea now. That's what you need to do if you're serious. You can roll the dice all you want. Call a urologist/reproductive Dr and ask or get appointment. Good luck. As far as risk, we didn't even do the tests because we knew we were supposed to have the baby. Up to you.
Funny side story: young couple newly married were trying to get pregnant, furiously. I could tell furiously by looking at the husband's face when he came in in the morning. Every morning. They eventually went to fertility and got help. I thought he was going to die. Edit: I looked and the IVF is $12k -$15k and the shots are $2.5k to $3k per month and you are rolling something better than 1/20 per month and it is going down. I think it took us about a year. So $50k?? |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:24:17 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Her eggs are shit at 43, if they even exist. Possible but extremely unlikely she can ovulate any quality eggs and then through in vitro get pregnant. If she insists on it, she absolutely could get donated eggs that are fertilized with your sperm. Talk to a fertility specialist. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:25:51 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
get her a puppy |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:26:10 PM EDT
[#48]
OP is fucked, sorry dude...
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:26:16 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had my second at 38. Wifey is the same age. I wouldn't want to do it any older if I had a choice. I'm mostly concerned about how old I'll be when they get to high school. |
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Posted: 3/18/2019 9:26:56 PM EDT
[#50]
The fam.
My wife was 44 when she had my little homeboy on the left. He's a terror, but makes my world go 'round. 
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