User Panel
Posted: 11/23/2003 8:04:42 AM EDT
I have been talking to my secretary. she is 22, lives at home with her parents, and makes, I'm guessing, $8/hr?
I've been trying to convince her that she's too young to already be at a deadend. There is no future in her position except to hope for a 3% cost of living raise every year. which means that she can afford to live at home with her parents for the rest of her life. There is no "senior secretary" position to get promoted to. All the other female positions in the company are degreed. She acknowledges that going to college & getting a degree are good things, and a good way to get ahead. But she just keeps tossing up excuse after excuse. "Too many bills, have to work full-time, don't know what I want to study." I keep trying to explain that an AA degree is perfect for her, because it will expose her to lots of possible majors. Hell, the AA degree was INVENTED for people that don't know what they want to do. She just keeps tossing up roadblocks & excuses. My brother, only 3 years younger than me (I'm 28) is also working a dead-end job and miserable. He actually has a degree (in German, how's that for useful?) but isnt using it. He keeps talking about how he's going back to school, and he's been on about it for about 2 years now. He also "doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up." This is a smart kid too. Genius level IQ, brain bowl & honors society and all that nerdy crap in high school, scholarships to college, etc. I swear, sometimes I really do feel like Norman74 stands for my age not my birth year. The last time I saw my grandfather before he died last year just shy of being 80, we got along famously. |
|
then explain how my brother and I can come from the same parents, same house, same everything, and wind up so differently? My secretary has two brothers (I think) both of whom have good jobs, with room for advancement. Her one brother worked his way up in the restaurant business and is a manager of something somewhere. No degree that I know of for him either. |
|
|
|
||
|
Haha, nice try. I didn't read that book until this year, and I was already well on my way to where I've gotten and where I'm going. |
|||
|
Same here norman74 ---- 1 of 3 brothers and we are so different, with no explanation. Don't know why, never could figure it out. |
||
|
age doesnt have anything to do with it. it's the way they were raised, their own personality, and their surroundings
you talk like that age is the determining factor when your brother is only 3 yrs younger than you....................... |
|
there has to be a cutoff somewhere right? maybe the cutoff is a year behind me, maybe two, hell maybe it's actually ahead of me and I am just an anomally. Bottom line is that it's an attitude that seems pretty prevalent among kids 25 and under that I and my friends didn't have when we were that age. |
|
|
SO let me get this straight,
Gen Y is not motivated enough, according to Gen X? How is that even possible? Next a Gen X'er will be saying Gen Y is self centered. |
|
Maybe she is satisfied where she's at doing what she's doing. I once turned down a promotion because I loved what I was doing at the time. I didn't want to change.
|
|
Hmmm, interesting...
I have a twin brother. He is 7 minutes older than I. I started working full time 2 days after I graduated from high school. I am 35 years old. I have been married almost 13 years, have two awesome babies, held a great job for the last 15 years, and own a house. My twin cannot hold a job for more than a year, has been divorced, ruined credit, no social skills, and has moved from state to staet alot in the past years. Everybody is different. Wierd. |
|
Nope, I'm self centered. I also don't see anyting wrong with being self-centered. Look at what the previous generation's concern for others got us. |
|
|
If kids in a family are not secure they seek different ways to express their individuality. Some choose to do well in school, others rebel and then there's a wide spectrum from military to priesthood etc.
Fractured families produce even less able parents as the generations progress. There are always exceptions but the pendulum still swings. |
|
My three Gen Y stories:
I know the feeling. I had an 18 year old son that graduated from HS in 2002. He can barely read and his writing is, at best, 8th grade level. After HS, he was all set to just kick back at home, skateboard, and socialize with his gen Y friends. After about six months of him looking for a job and not finding one, I put a boot up his ass, metaphorically speaking, and told him to get a life. He joined the Army in Jan and is now 19 and in Iraq with the 4th ID and loves it. My current 17 year old gen Y step-daughter was raised in a very sheltered and protected environment. She was overly protected by her mother who, in contrast, led a very unsheltered and sometimes hard life. She is big time into community theater and wants to study musical theater in college. She has an educational trust fund that will be worth about $80K dollars by the time she starts to use it next fall. She has this wide open opprotunity to go to a really good college and study a subject near and dear to her heart and she doesn't even have the motivation to sit down and do the admission applications. My wife is starting to stress because if she wants to start school next fall she better get her paperwork done now. Family friends 17 year old gen Y daughter had it all worked out to get a full ROTC scholarship with room and board at a very nice College up the road in VT. All she has to do is get decent grades the rest of her senior year. What does she do? She fails economics. Now her scholarship is in jeopardy and her mother is so pissed she can't see straight. Don't know what the hell is wrong with kids these days. Some are okay, some just don't seem to care about their futures and prefer to let things happen to them instead of taking charge and deciding their own fates. |
|
Well, if she wasn't constantly complaining about not having any money, I might could buy that. and even so, it doesn't change the fact that she has no goals. If she's happy with her current job, her goal is to what, sit on her ass for the rest of her life? I just have no tollerance for people with no goals or drive. |
|
|
MY 23 year old daughter will Grad. with her masters next month, already has a great job.
My 19 year old daoughter goes off to Marine Boot camp Dec 8. not all Gen Y are losers, every generation has people like your sec and brother. |
|
What's ironic is that I was the problem child that everyone thought would be dead or in jail by the time I was 21. I dressed like a freak, did drugs, got in fights, stole shit, got hassled by "the man" all the time, etc. My brother was the quiet nerd memorizing all sorts of useless trivia 'cause he found it fun. Now I'm moving up in a good carreer while he stagnates in a dead-end job. |
|
|
We are taught to let somebody else do it for us. We are taught that if it is supposed to happen, it will happen without our intervention. We are taught that we are supposed to follow our heart and not our mind. We are taught that feelings are superior to logic. We are taught that the successful people 'win life's lottery'. We are taught that it is okay to just try our best. The voices to the contrary are shouted down and drowned out by the above. Just a note from a formerly worthless loser |
|
|
no. when you were born doesn't really determine how hard working and ambitious you will be. |
|
|
They are living their lives the way they chose to. So what's the problem?
A 22 year old "Woman" (Girl) shouldnt be worrying about anything more than what CD to play in her car on the way to the Gym. There will be plenty of time later to get a meaningless degree and pursue the almightly dollar. She's going to live into her 80's, at least, why force her to grow up early? |
|
|
|
|
The problem is they bitch & complain about not having any money! Or make snide remarks about the fact that I have a couple of dollars to do something fun once in a while. If it's so great being poor and shit, then they should shut the fuck up and be poor. And don't act like I got where I am because I won the lottery as doublefeed said. I had a plan, I adjusted when the plan wasn't working, and I succeeded. It has nothing to do with working hard or not, it has to do with having a plan. If you plan properly, you can achieve greatness without hard work. Of course, it does take some intelligence so..... |
|
|
Okay, that makes more sense. It appeared to me that you were complaining about their lifestyle choices. But now it's clear that it's their negative attitude that you find more distastefull than their lack of ambition. I'm 32 and have achieved more than most people will in a lifetime. My advise to younger people is dont be in too big of a hurry to do anything. |
||
|
that sounds exactly like me when i was 17,18,19. i'm smart (was then, too); had great grades in H.S.; but didn't know what i wanted to do. life sucked pretty hard. all this potential and "energy" yet nowhere to direct it. i already was Army Reserve, pissed away a full ride ROTC gig and ended up elinsting in the Navy. some years of armed forces and a college degree later, i'm running my own business. i found that the only way i could be "happy" is if i make all the decisions. buuuut, i think i'm A.D.D. based on what others who have been diagnosed late in life describe. back in the 80s, it wasn't in vogue to be ADD. i say all generations of kids are the same. without proper motivation, it is too easy to remain "comfortable". if parents let the kids stay at home, there's no motivation to leave. i like how i read elsewhere here about go to school or start paying the ever increasing rent. |
|
|
Actually, I can't stand people with a lack of ambition. That's a big part of it as well. As far as hurrying up and growing up, nobody is saying that, but why not do something productive with your days while you're having fun at night? My college years were fun as hell, and without the education I received (or the piece of paper, take your pick) I wouldn't be where I am now. I worked part time at a gunshop, which was awesome, and learned a ton of things both in and out of the classrooms. Not to mention having lots of nights out at bars having fun. Having a goal and having fun are not mutually exclusive. |
|
|
Tell anyone who's eligible to join the military to go ahead and join the military. It's one of the very few true CAREERS WITH RETIREMENT that are still available, and it's not tough to get into the service.
If she's happy to be a secretary, she should join the Air Force (or other service) and go for administrative specialties. Most "dead end" jobs have an equivalent in the service, but there, they're NOT dead end jobs. If the person has a morbid fear of combat, he or she should stay out of the Marines and get into an admin MOS. Problem solved. The services DO have a need for rear echelon paper pushers, and if someone is willing to do that necessary task, more power to him. CJ |
|
Who knows and to be perfectly honest who cares. I am doing fine now and as long as I am getting by then I really no longer care. I used to care but after getting stomped on for trying to help I gave up and don't think twice about it anymore.
Now don't get me wrong, I am all for and willing to help those who want it and are willing to try but for those who can't find the time or energy to do anything... screw them, they are a waste of time and effort. If anyone (well, not just anyone but I digress) wants a helping hand and are willing to make a real effort I will help. But those who "just want a break". They can go find some other sucker to leach off of. Damn, sometimes I really feel like a grumpy old man.... |
|
I was a "loser" for a long time, even though I've *always* had a job and paid my own way. After graduating high school, I didn't *really* know what I wanted to do. I thought I would go into Audio Engineering, as I had DJ'd and done lots of audio work in Jr. High and HS.
But it was hard to live at home with 3 siblings and 2 parents (and those were the "dark years" for my parents, who were finally figuring out the financial mess they were in, and not dealing with it well) go to work, and go to school. When I moved out a couple of months after my 19th birthday, it was harder still, because I was forced to work more hours to pay bills, and that left little time for school. And I was struggling for SOME kind of freedom, having never had any real time off after 13 years of school, several years of jobs, sports, band, DJing, and so on. I was delivering pizza, and later being an assistant manager, working to be a store manager, but we all know those were "loser" jobs. But, I really didn't yet know what to do, and at the time, I didn't have enough experience to know who to talk to about it. Finally, after a year's misadventure moving to the coast after a girl, and putting myself seriously in debt to do it, I moved back home, got another pizza delivery job, and saved up for a computer. It took three more years before I finally got my first "real" job (partially due to spending a year helping my dad get HIS crap together), but I eventually got a Tech Support job in 1995, and I now manage a 20-person, 24/7 Help Desk for a credit card company. I bought a house in 1996, I own 2 cars, bought around $40K worth of guns, mags, ammo, and related stuff, and I'm starting my own business, which I've been funding for a year. Anyone who had looked at my "career path" from 1989-1994 would have seen a loser who "was wasting his life." What really happened is that I finally had some time to think about things, get some ideas and experiences in the real world (which is VERY different from the sheltered reality of school), and I rocketed ahead. Sure, with a little more help in the right places, I probably could have been more successful sooner, but I have few regrets at this point. Many people are "failures" for years until they finally come up with a great idea in their 40s, 50s, or later. And, we still need people to fill $8/hour jobs. My advice: quit worrying about other people. You can't MAKE them succeed. They have to find their own motivation. Maybe this girl will be sick of being a low-paid secretary at 25, or maybe she'll get married and stay home with the kids and be a great mom. Maybe she'll stumble into a hobby that starts a terriffic side business. You never know. Help people when they ask for help, but don't be upset at people who choose differently than you do. -Troy |
|
Hey, I'm 29 and I'm a complete looser! There are plenty of us around. I didn't make it past 1 year in college. I work full time at my dead-end job and pay my own way through life. I don't break the law. I don't mess with anyone else. Why do you care how I live my life?
______________________________________________ [url=www.nra.org][b][red]NRA[/red][/url] [url=www.nra.org][blue]Life Member[/blue][/url] [url=www.gunowners.org][b][red]GOA[/red] [/url] [url=www.gunowners.org][blue]Life Member[/blue][/url] [url=www.saf.org][red]SAF[/red][/url] [url=www.saf.org][blue]Supporter[/blue][/url] [url=sas-aim.org][red]SAS[/red][/url] [url=sas-aim.org][blue]Supporter[/blue][/b][/url] |
|
its got nothing to do with generations or parents, in life there will always be winners and that means there has to be losers as well.
its always been this way and will always be this way. and for some people it just takes them longer to figure out their life and where they fit in this world. |
|
Quoted: Hey, I'm 29 and I'm a complete looser! There are plenty of us around. I didn't make it past 1 year in college. I work full time at my dead-end job and pay my own way through life. I don't break the law. I don't mess with anyone else. Why do you care how I live my life? View Quote As long as you keep your trap shut, don't whine about not having any money, don't begrudge me mine every chance you get, and keep your unmotivated ass away from me I [b]don't[b] care. We have lots of reasons we choose to associate with people or not associate with them. Some use race, some use financial standing, some use attractiveness, some use religion, most use personality. One big factor for me is whether or not you have any motivation. I find slugs boring personally. |
|
I'm a gen-Xer and have two bachelor degrees (BA-History, BS-Speech Education/Public Speaking).
I pour concrete for a living. Heheheh. |
|
Quoted: Quoted: Hey, I'm 29 and I'm a complete looser! There are plenty of us around. I didn't make it past 1 year in college. I work full time at my dead-end job and pay my own way through life. I don't break the law. I don't mess with anyone else. Why do you care how I live my life? View Quote As long as you keep your trap shut, don't whine about not having any money, don't begrudge me mine every chance you get, and keep your unmotivated ass away from me I [b]don't[b] care. We have lots of reasons we choose to associate with people or not associate with them. Some use race, some use financial standing, some use attractiveness, some use religion, most use personality. One big factor for me is whether or not you have any motivation. I find slugs boring personally. View Quote I know exactly what you mean! I don't associate with amoral assholes myself. [:D] ______________________________________________ [url=www.nra.org][b][red]NRA[/red][/url] [url=www.nra.org][blue]Life Member[/blue][/url] [url=www.gunowners.org][b][red]GOA[/red] [/url] [url=www.gunowners.org][blue]Life Member[/blue][/url] [url=www.saf.org][red]SAF[/red][/url] [url=www.saf.org][blue]Supporter[/blue][/url] [url=sas-aim.org][red]SAS[/red][/url] [url=sas-aim.org][blue]Supporter[/blue][/b][/url] |
|
Quoted: [ One big factor for me is whether or not you have any motivation. I find slugs boring personally. View Quote Oh crap, I guess we can't be buddies. I'm sitting here thinking of reasons not to do anything today. So far I have: It is too cold. I might get a chill. It is Monday. I have all week to do something. I did something last week. I might do something next week. If I goof around for a couple days I can knock off for Thanksgiving. Then take a long weekend. I'm pretty sure that makes me a slug but I think I'm a motivated slug. Or, maybe not. |
|
Fuck, I'm 32 and am working nights as a bar manager. Dropped out of college end of sophomore year, have as much direction as a degauss compass!
The only thing that I do that is structured and at which I show potebtial is the military, USNR. Other than that I'm a waste IMO anyway. Gonna drag my ass back to college for spring semester and try to do something withmyself, I still have 30 years until I retire. |
|
Quoted: Quoted: They were raised by their parents. View Quote then explain how my brother and I can come from the same parents, same house, same everything, and wind up so differently? My secretary has two brothers (I think) both of whom have good jobs, with room for advancement. Her one brother worked his way up in the restaurant business and is a manager of something somewhere. No degree that I know of for him either. View Quote Sometimes its Nature NOT Nurture. only child, echo6 |
|
Quoted: its got nothing to do with generations or parents, in life there will always be winners and that means there has to be losers as well. its always been this way and will always be this way. and for some people it just takes them longer to figure out their life and where they fit in this world. View Quote I won't elaborate. Just think of the industrial results of everybody busting ass, in their particular chosen skill [:)] (Then watch Star Trek, and place the date 300 years earlier [:D]) |
|
Quoted: I don't believe there HAS to be any losers. Life is not a zero sum game. Imagine what kind of a society we would be if everybody truly believed they could win, and worked as if they knew they were going to win. View Quote I agree. If we in the USA lived up to our potential, the rest of the world would be kissing our feet. On a different note: If you work in a private industry, you get paid what you can negotiate. |
|
Quoted: What's ironic is that I was the problem child that everyone thought would be dead or in jail by the time I was 21. I dressed like a freak, did drugs, got in fights, stole shit, got hassled by "the man" all the time, etc. My brother was the quiet nerd memorizing all sorts of useless trivia 'cause he found it fun. Now I'm moving up in a good carreer while he stagnates in a dead-end job. View Quote Haha - me too! I was always the "problem" child, getting into trouble and blowing off the last year of high school, and my parents pretty much wrote me off. [nana] |
|
Quoted: I love being a loser slug. View Quote I doubt this applies to you. If I remember from previous postings of yours, you've bought & sold property your whole life to get into the house you live in now, and if you sold it now it would be worth quite a chunk of change, and significantly more than you paid for it. That doesn't sound very slug-like to me. You're also in college (or school) at a higher-than-average age for school. This leads me to believe that you've been out in the world, found what it is you want to do, and are securing the education (or piece of paper to hear ar15fan tell it) to do it. Again, awefully un-slug-like. |
|
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.