The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out
about something exciting and relate it to the class the next
day. When the time came for the little kids to give their
reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.

She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he
sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a
piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then
sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie
had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked
him just what that was.

"It's a period," reported Johnnie.

"Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about
a period."

"Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister
said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy
fainted and the man next door shot himself."

[LOL]

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.  Interested in what the cherub faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Nancy?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because it’s inside your fucking cat.”