Well, maybe it isn't wrecking it, but it does put a dull/numbness sensation in the back of my brain.  Number 38 will not be remembered as one of my best.

Anyway, just past the 3 month mark of the required 6 months to get divorced.  Tomorrow, have to go to Friend of the Court with my attorney and meet the wife with hers.  Will hopefully get the child support matter settled.  I'm actually looking forward to this (I think....depends on how it turns out) since my wife is asking for more money than what the State says she has coming to her.  With a 50/50 joint physical custody case, the State says she should be entitled to $24/week; she wants $100/week.  I don't know how she can get it, but you never know how these things will go.

Am still having a great time with the kids.  Went bumper bowling last night with my sister, her husband, and their two kids.  Had a blast.  Thank God I get to see my two kids everyday, all day long (I fly at night so my days are totally open for the kids.  Wife works during the day) and get them every other weekend for the full weekend.  

Am still running 3 miles every other day and lifting weights the other day.  Feel guilty if for some reason I can't get my work out.  Guess it's a part of my life, now.  Can't get over how many people have said, "Wow, you really look great!!"......wish I could make faster progress on my heart vs. my body.  Oh well.  Working out I know is definately helping my mental outlook.

I'm pretty sure my wife is seeing someone else, now.  This is the hardest part of the whole thing, wondering if your wife is screwing someone else.  About drives me crazy sometimes.  Living across the street from her folks is a pain in the ass sometimes, since I have a constant reminder of my wife.  Although, it could drive them crazy once I start bringing home someone else to my house, too!!  

For now, I'm creating the illusion that I'm in a great mood to my wife and her parents, that this isn't getting my down, that I'm happy and doing fine with this, etc.  Can't let them see how much this hurts me.  Working hard to stay focused on the positive, to pick up the pieces, to be the best Dad I can to my kids.  Need to stay focused.

Anyway, didn't mean to whine on my birthday.  Just that Christmas and my birtday are/were tough times for the first time not having my wife. Thanks for listening.

vmax84

Well, Happy Birthday. Hang in there man! I don't know what else to say except that you will eventually quit caring if she's sleeping with anyone else. In fact, you will probably find amusement in it one day.

Stay strong, and keep your chin up!

Hey man, I can sympathize, I'm going through the same thing, just earlier in the process, and no kids.  Glad to hear you see your kids often.  Keep your chin up, stay active, keep doing what you are doing.  Sounds like you are handling it better than I did at first.  I agree the holidays were tough.  It gets better!  The way I am looking at it now, is that if she is willing to go back on our marriage vows and hop in bed with someone else, with zero conscience, then I don't want her, don't need her, and can do better.
Be sure to get your friends in the loop and keep them close.  Your ARFCOM bro's are here for you too.  If I can help in any way, just email me.  

I think there is an old saying about living well is the best revenge ;)

Happy B'day to ya'

From one that has been in your shoe's, it get's better, just takes a little time to get there.

Yeah, Christmas was tough.  I had the kids Christmas Eve day, got to take them to Church, got to keep them overnight till the 25th.  Took them over to my wifes house (still seems strange to say that) Christmas day at 10:00am.  I think I did pretty good sporting the "happy guy" look, but driving away from her house I could feel my eyes getting pretty wet.  That was very hard for me.  It's still hard, the whole thing.

Gotta go.  My sisters are throwing me a big birthday bash, my folks are still alive (their 70 years old) and will be there, and, I've got my 2 kids with me.  Guess things could be worse.  I am very fortunate to have much family around me, who care deeply about me, and have a couple very close friends from way back from the grade school days who have already called and wished me happy birthday.  Thank God for them.

Thanks for the "atta boys" on pressing on into a long walk uphill, into a driving wind.

vmax84

vmax, never be afraid to shed a tear. Sounds to me like you're doin better than can be expected. I didn't hear any whineing, just reality. Keep your atitude, and your faith, and all will be well with you.......
God's got a plan.

Happy birthday! I too wish that that the circumstances were different. There is no commitment to anything, which is the sign of the times. Woman are rather fickled.

vmax,
Happy Birthday, man!
You may be "creating an illusion to others", but just be sure you step out of that illusion and have some heart to heart time with someone, anyone.  As you're doing here.
And I gotta agree 100% with HiramRanger and liberty86.
God [b]does[/b] have a plan; it just may not be what you think you need now.

Just some advice from someone who has been through 3 divorces.  

Again, I appreciate the words of help/encouragement.  If you don't mind, I'll post a follow up tomorrow and let you know how my Friend of the Court/Child Support meeting went.  It helps me to talk about it.  Thanks.

vmax84

P.S.  Things are starting to turn around a little....checked the mail today (forgot to yesterday) and found my Video on how to build up an AR-15, my book How to Build an AR-15, and my 8mm boresnake I had ordered from Delta Press....man, those guys shipped it fast!!  Happy Birthday to me!!  See ya and thanks again.