DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
successful. You vote people into office who put a tax on your cows, forcing
you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for
then take the tax money, spend half to get reelected, then raise your taxes
again to buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell
both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was
a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO
on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have down-sized and are reducing expenses. Your stock
goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go
to lunch. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on
unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow
school.

GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of
beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred kilometers per hour.
Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around,
you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have
some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and
open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th annual plan in the
last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you
really have.

POLISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and
killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION:
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking
one. Some of your people who like the brown one best, vote for the black
one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some
people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from
out-of-state tell you which is the best looking one.

NEW YORK CORPORATION:
You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the
leader of the herd, so you pick a fat cow from Arkansas.

Political cows make the best hamburgers.