the old lady sounds like she might be getting a little testy tonight.  If I gotta bail out, I'm thinking of taking my cat out on his leash with my white cane and sunglasses and heading to the mall. Any good ideas on where to go?

I already took him to Office Max to get my CCW laminated, so that's out of the question.

I think the boy would apprecaite someplace that has good seafood...

Hell Yeah!  That is one of the funniest stunts ever posted here!  Do it anywhere.  It's ALL good!

You are looking for a place to take your cat???


How about a skeet range..

or a Bowling Alley...

a Chinese restraurant maybe...

Taco Bell...

Dog Pound??

Hell I don't know. Spend some time with the wife instead.......they lick better.

Sgtar15

Sushi bar.

it had better be out of the township because local LEOs are on to me.... They're OK with it, but I don't want to push it here.

I ought to tell you about the time a couple years ago the pair of us got into some real deep doo-doo.

The wife came home, went looking for kitty,knew I was out shopping for building materiels. Thought I'd leave the little guy in the pickup. She tried to come to the rescue. Finds the truck. No cat. goes inside, sees me with sunglasses, cat and cane.

So she has a snit and snatched the cat and started to walk off.

I simply plowed into a pile of insulation, knocked it over, fell on my ass, started swinging my cane and shouted:"Help me! For God's sake! Someone is stealing my seeing eye cat!"

Some guy sees me, sees the wife starting to run and grabs the wife. HIS wife grabs kitty, brings him to me, hooks him onto my leash and helps me up.

The guy who grabbed her hauled out a cell phone and calls the LEOs.

When I heard that, I made some quick excuse and kitty and I boogied. We were leaving in the pickup as the LEOs were coming in.

Wife had to spend better part of an hour trying to explain to LEOs what she was doing trying to steal a seeing-eye cat from a blind man. Of course, a couple dozen honest citizens were telling the LEOs that it REALLY WAS a blind guy with a REAL seeing eye cat, and looking at the wife like she was some kind of evil witch.Why she got off the hook is beyond me, but she didn't get locked up.

Cost me 5 weeks on the cot in the basement, but it sure broke her of the habit of starting spats in public(I hate that $hit. No excuse for public spectacles)

To this day, if my buddy even says 'seeing-eye cat' within earshot of her, I get a REAL dirty look.

Women have NO sense of humor.

Mm^yt K46eeybo+8rd H^3assssss ce*9aased t00 Fu&98nccti0n.

Too funny...

I'd try it with my cat, but I wouldn't get anywhere because when he is on a leash, he just falls over on his side.... It's pretty funny to watch though....

thats freaking funny, need pics of this

txlewis

Please do take the SEC out again. I really could use another ROFLMAO story.

Just be careful not to park in a handicap space this time. You caught alot of flak off that the last time.[;)]

I love the Seeing-Eye-Cat stories!!

I should my daughter the first one and see caught what was wrong about it on all the levels. She couldn't believe people could be so stupid. I'll have to show her this story too. It'll crack her up.

She wanted to get a leash and try this with our new kitten. But a 6 months old I don't think he'd play along so well....yet. [:D]

And how about pics of the wonder cat?

Do you have any businesses nearby that have an anti-ccw policy?

Take the SEC there and ask an employee to read the expiration date on your CCW permit to you so "you can make sure that it hasn't expired yet".  
"I don't know why they can't issue those permits in Braille for us blind folks."
That might be fun.
[:D]

search function

sigh

need to scrape up $60

Thanks. LMAO funny story.

Sounds like yer ready for another trip......At Sea.

[b]piccolo[/b], where ever you go(a tourist type spot would be best) take your camera and ask people to take a picture of you and your kitty...so you can remember the trip!! How many people do you think would do it?!?

Of course, you need to post the pictures for us to see!!![:D]


ByteTheBullet  (-:

Victorias Secret

I guarentee that will be good.

Man you gotta do that at the fun store.

ARH

that was great

Outstanding!  (Read the other thread, too!)

You've got to have big clankers between your legs to pull that one off, most especially more than once!

That's about the best funny one I've read here, ever!


You should DEFINITELY try this stunt at Victoria's Secret!  Great way to cop a couple of most bodacious feels, too!

Salesgirl:  Oooh, what a sweet cat!  Can I pet your pussy?

You: ( Can you even hold it together long enough to suggest a trade? )  



A blind man with a seeing eye dog (a German Shepherd) walks into a china shop, picks up the dog by the back legs, and starts swinging the dog around and around.   A salesman sees this, freaks, runs up to the man, and asks "May I help you, please?"    Blind man responds, "No, thanks. I'm just looking around."

Old, I know.



How did Helen Keller burn her face?  

She answered the iron.



How did she burn her fingers?

Trying to read the waffle iron.


What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?

She screamed her hands off all the way down.


How would Helen Keller's boyfriend get even with her when she pissed him off?

He'd rearrange the furniture.




CJ

Jesus H. Christ, I am in freaken tears! That is the funniest shit I have heard in a LONG time.

Cheers to you for that sir!

       [beer]

I am laughing so hard it hurts....

The 1st SEC trip I took was the one that got me into the doghouse with my wife. That's the second errand of the day. The 1st errand was when I went to Office Max to get my CCW laminated.

The guy there asked me where I learned to handle a handgun.  I told him that I took a self defense course for the visually impaired, and that one of my classmates was Ray Charles, who had to learn to shoot because he was making the movie "Blues Brothers".

This guy wasn't stupid, but he wasn't a jerk, either, as he did cover for me and played along. He took me up to the register and helped me out the door and around the corner.

Yeah, picture this scenario: I hand the guy the camera, and he tries to run off with it.

The blind guy with a seeing eye cat whips out the old Roscoe and draws down on him."FREEZE!!"

Picture the look on that poor bastard's face!