This must have had a woman author.........

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that
we feel we are right about but need to shut you up.

NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will
cause you to have one of those arguments.


FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the
trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You
will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement very
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you
are an idiot at
that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
are one of the
few things that some men actually understand. She is
content. Your best
bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and

hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done.
"That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction
with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she
has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the
truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're
welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt
her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be
careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only
tell you "Nothing."

True.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?":
I'm giving you one chance to live - now do you want to 'rephrase' what you just said?

yes - I don't know or sometimes no.

no - I don't know or sometimes yes.

maybe - I don't know or sometimes "clueless"

sometime - now or yesterday

The proveriable (sp) response to anything a woman says is, yes my luv,w/a smirk[;)]....If their smart they get [pissed]

Do what I do when the Old Ball and Chain starts up with the inane questioning:

"Yes, dear, no, dear, sorry, dear, whatever you say, dear, anything you say, dear; please pick one of the above. Thank you."[:D]
(Edited to say what I just said...)

I know my ass is in trouble when I hear "LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION".  

[smoke]
[smoke]

Ok how about when you're sitting there minding your own buisness and she comes up and starts a conversation with:

Can we talk?

So.....

I have some issues.

"what do you want to do?"

translation; "this is what we are going to do."