[center]15. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight
in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop
when it's yellow.
16. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because
they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that
cute.
17. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray
before we eat (yeah, even breakfast), we go to church
on Wednesdays and Sundays, we go to high school
football games on Friday nights, we still address our
seniors with 'yes sirs' and 'yes ma'ams', and we
sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see
friends and neighbors.
18. We don't do "hurry up" well.
19. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt
on them. You boil them with either salty fatback or a
ham hock.
20. Yeah, we eat catfish , bass, bream, and carp ,
too. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at
the bait shop.
21. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get
over it. Don't like it? Interstate 95 goes two ways-
Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.
22. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe
even some pepper on them. You want to put milk and
sugar on them - then you want cream of wheat - go to
Kansas. That would be I-40 West.
23. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer
season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can
get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight
at the church on either day.
24. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah,
it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
25. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the
water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the
gators - and if you hit it in the rough, we have these
things called Diamondbacks, and they're not baseball
players.
26. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you
over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir"...
no matter how old he is.
27. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It
drips from them. You park your Navigator under them,
and they'll leave a logo on your hood.
[/center]