Emanual Kant was a real piss ant who was very rarely stable.
Heidigger, Heidigger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothin' Neitzsche couldn't teach you 'bout the raisin' of the wrist!

Socrates himself was permanently pissed!

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, on a cask of sherry was particularly ill.
Davis, they say, could stick it away - half a pint of whisky every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a begger for the bottle.
Hobbs was fond of his dram.
And Renee Descrates, the drunken fart: I drink therefore I am!

Ohhhh, Socrates himself is particularly missed... a lovely little thinker but a buggar when he's pissed!

Old Monty Python song.