I have a family member that is extremely depressed.  Everytime this person talks to their daughter on the phone they start crying etc, they watch Fox news and see whats going on in the world and start crying etc.  They blame the world for all of their troubles.  It's our fault that their son has down syndrome, their spouse left them 30 years ago and its our fault that they don't have any money, their ex is making tons of money and its the ex's fault that they are poor and have no ability to manage their finances etc. Its bad to say the least, this person thinks that its everyone elses responsibility to take care of them.  They have a HUGE sense of entitlement that they have created, but since nobody else agrees they just crawl into their shell and feel sorry for themself.

Their son is disabled and this person stays home with him day in and day out to take care of him.  That is all their life revolves around.  This has also caused health issues as well such as huge weight gain and heart problems.  

I think that this person going to counseling would be greatly beneficial to them, even if they went to a group setting at a church.  But this person refuses to do anything of the sort.  They don't think anything is wrong.  I don't think they are suicidal but they are very short tempered and very hard to deal with.  

Example:

This person was invited to my daughters cheer competition (She got 1st place in the state division!! Thats my girl!!!), anyway, this person arrived with another family member and my wife and myself arrived in different cars as well.  My wife told this person that we would be sitting on the left.  So this person came separately and when they entered from the South side of the building they sat on their left.  My wife came after that and came in the North side of the building and sat on her left as she walked in, which happened to be the correct side that the judge said my daughter would be facing.

Before the competition this person told my wife "You probably don't want to sit with me", which is completely untrue of course as we all wanted to sit together.  So after the competition started my wife and I could not find this person, we looked high and low on the benches and finally spotted them on the wrong side of the gymnasium.  We waived and waived and finally got their attention.  They stood up mouthed the words "fuck you", flipped us off and walked off.  

My wife and I just looked at each other like "What the holy fuck was that?".  We did not see the person again.  The competition lasted a few hours and afterward we went looking for them because they had driven there with my brother n law.  He was their only ride home.  After about a half hour we decided to leave because the place was empty and we could not find them.  


Come to find out this person walked from the school we were at to their house, which was about 3 miles away after they flipped us off.  It was like 15 degrees outside and the wind was blowing a good 30MPH.  So now this person is completely upset because she blames my wife and brother n law for this incident.  Nobody loves them and everybody hates them so they walked home by themself and it took over an hour.  

We really want to get this person in the right state of mind, it would be helpful for not just them but for the entire family because we want to involve them in our childrens lives, but we just can't when they are constantly spouting off hateful stuff about my wife and brother n law in front of all of the kids.  

Any suggestions on how to get someone to seek help?

You can lead a horse to water and all that...

All I can say is prayers outbound for your whole family.

Suggest that they go to counseling and that you will go also and do anything to help them through. Let them know that you love and care for them. If they dont respond well to this you might have to cut ties with them. Unfortunately, not all can be fixed.

Perhaps early signs of this is what caused the ex to leave.



Oh yeah, I bet that there's fibromyalga involved...

The answer is prayer.  Pray for them, pray with them.  Sounds too simple but it works.

I'd suggest trying to get this person to a good psychiatrist.   Good luck.

We are praying.  My wife and I recently joined a church group.  We aren't very religious people but we wanted to meet some nice people and it sure has been nice.  We pray often that this relative will accept our requests for them to go with us.  We have already spoken with the church elders about them and the elders want them to come to a group.  The church is willing to work hard to create a comfortable place for them and get them socializing with other people.  

There is no "firbroyalgia" involved.  This is all a head game for tihs relative.

Yeah but how would I even get them there?

We have spoken with this persons brothers and sisters and parents and they are all willing to pay for counseling and for mental healthcare but we just don't kow how to get this person to accept that they need care.

There are some people out there that feel the need to be the victim of all of lifes curve balls.

I had an ex inlaw that was like that, she always needed this drama in her life.

Keep in touch with them, but keep your distance as wel.

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They really are better off killing themselves.

Huh?

Is this person a man or a woman?

All you can do is suggest counseling.  Also, look into insurance to see if it will cover a home health nurse or CNA to care for the disabled child.

Fybromyalgia is a controversial condition where the patient has widespread pain and sensitivity to pressure.  It's controversial because some doctors believe it's a condition by itself, and others believe it's a symptom of other conditions, sometimes psychologically based.  





It's generally 'experienced' by people like the OP describes, overweight and depressed.  
 

You can't help them until they want help.  

This person is not going to do anything until forced to.  Just tell them you are dissappointed and that from here out you will be friends only if they get psychiatric help.

I had a similar situation with a long time friend.  I told him I had to cut him loose because I could not shoulder the burden of his issues.  He finally died at 47 due to his poor eating and smoking habits.