Ted Nugent Talks That Way Even When Buying Socks

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Posted: 6/12/2002 2:29:03 PM EDT

Ted Nugent Talks That Way Even When Buying Socks
SAGINAW, MI—According to JC Penney men's-department sources, rocker Ted Nugent talks that way even when buying socks. "What color socks do I want? I want every damn color, plus a whole bunch of colors that don't even exist," Nugent told sales associate Jonathan Alexander. "Life is too short, man. Whether it's socks or shoes or whatever, you gotta bite into life like it's a great big ol' hunk of bison. Otherwise, you wake up and suddenly—poof—you're fat and old, and you never had any friggin' fun. And if you're not having fun, you may as well move to Iraq or Cuba or some other hellhole where there ain't no good times to be had." Nugent added that that's the way he sees it, and that if you don't like it, you can kiss his lily-white ass.

Oh, and for those who insist on having a link.
[url]www.theonion.com[/url]

Posted: 6/12/2002 2:32:57 PM EDT

[#1]

Good old Ted !!!

iliketednugent.
[8D]

Posted: 6/12/2002 2:36:51 PM EDT

[#2]

Uh, the Onion is [b]NOT[/b] a reliable news source...

Scott

Posted: 6/12/2002 2:39:56 PM EDT

[#3]

Yes. I know.

Posted: 6/12/2002 2:41:15 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
Uh, the Onion is [b]NOT[/b] a reliable news source...

Scott

View Quote

True, but you must admit they're VERY good, especially when sauteed and served with mushrooms or on a steak.

Posted: 6/12/2002 2:46:02 PM EDT

[#5]

BWAHAHAHA!!! I should have known this came from The Onion.... the same very funny people that brought us this gem:

"Guns are only deadly when used for their intended purpose."

[url]http://www.theonion.com/onion3822/guns_are_only_deadly.html[/url]

[b]AND[/b] even funnier.

"Twelve Customers Gunned Down In Convenience-Store Clerk's Imagination"

[url]http://www.theonion.com/onion3619/twelve_customers.html[/url]

"Starving, Bandaged Bin Laden Offers U.S. One Last Chance To Surrender"

[url]http://www.theonion.com/onion3745/bandaged_bin_laden.html[/url]

Posted: 6/12/2002 2:54:45 PM EDT

[#6]

Ted Rules!!

Posted: 6/12/2002 3:00:07 PM EDT

[#7]

I love that Full Bluntal Nugity, thats why I joined TNUSA.

[:)>]

Posted: 6/12/2002 3:10:17 PM EDT

[#8]

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