What to expect when you reach middle-age

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - What to expect when you reach middle-age

Posted: 5/6/2002 1:16:10 AM EDT

Okay, so I turned 40 last November, and on top of chronic arthritis in both knees and other assorted ailments I've had since childhood, I now have the following new problems:

1. Eyes turning bad.

Having a difficult time with open sights on all my rifles, especially the M1A. The new glasses don't help a heck of a lot, where they always helped in the past.

2. Skin tags.

My father had them, now I have them as well, starting last year. Time to get out the razor.

3. Wart on finger.

I had a wart on my right index finger when I was a kid. One day, I took a knife and cut it off, it healed, and I never saw it again. Last year when I turned 39, after 30 years, it came back! So, I cut it off again and a couple of months later it came back again! I get the feeling the old immune system isn't what it used to be.

What's next? Lordtrader penis syndrome?

Posted: 5/6/2002 1:28:03 AM EDT

[#1]

Don't forget they hair growing out of your nose and ears

Posted: 5/6/2002 1:33:54 AM EDT

[#2]

And then.. there's that post pee dribble. [:\]

Posted: 5/6/2002 1:36:57 AM EDT

[#3]

Hair in nose and ears since 20's, not too much of a problem.

Post pee dribble solved by rolling up a piece of TP and shoving it in the shorts as needed. Had that for many years too.

Is this all I need to worry about?

Posted: 5/6/2002 1:43:26 AM EDT

[#4]

4. Bad back

5. Kids call you "Sir"

6. Balding head

7. You can only get it up once a night

8. Insomia

9. Your body starts to make very odd and load noises when you first wake up.

10. You know that you really will die one day.

Yea, you missed a few[:(]

Sgtar15

Posted: 5/6/2002 2:18:56 AM EDT

[#5]

I have all that stuff except the insomnia. Number 7, I'm not quite there. If I can stay awake I can probably swing it, but the next day I'll have to sleep in.

Yeah, aging sucks.

Posted: 5/6/2002 2:46:17 AM EDT

[#6]

Quoted:

7. You can only get it up once a night

Sgtar15

View Quote

No kidding!

"I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good [b]once[/b] as I ever was.."

I'll let the member who originally posted this chime in & take the credit if he wants to...

Posted: 5/6/2002 2:55:34 AM EDT

[#7]

Yeah you can pretty much get used to pissing slower and losing your hair faster.

Damn I love being 24 and not having those problems. hheheehehehehehe.

Mike

Posted: 5/6/2002 3:02:29 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Yeah you can pretty much get used to pissing slower and losing your hair faster.

Damn I love being 24 and not having those problems. hheheehehehehehe.

Mike

View Quote

Enjoy, Enjoy, Enjoy...that's all I can tell you!

Posted: 5/6/2002 4:25:27 AM EDT

[#9]

My ex-boss used to say this is the test of old age:

You're put in a 10'x10' room with 10 women. The door opens, a young hottie walks in, and is asked the following question, "Is there a man in the room?" If she answers yes, you are still young. If she answers no, you know you're over the hill.

The reason is because to young womenz, old guys are transparent. Not transparent in that they can see right through your lines, but transparent as if you were invisible. You don't even exist! [>(]

Posted: 5/6/2002 4:49:36 AM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:
My ex-boss used to say this is the test of old age:

You're put in a 10'x10' room with 10 women. The door opens, a young hottie walks in, and is asked the following question, "Is there a man in the room?" If she answers yes, you are still young. If she answers no, you know you're over the hill.

The reason is because to young womenz, old guys are transparent. Not transparent in that they can see right through your lines, but transparent as if you were invisible. You don't even exist!

View Quote

......Why do you GUYS give a flying f%&k what the bitches think? A young bitch with old guy is for the SECURITY=MONEY!........really what else would a true young 10-20yrs your jr.hottie be hanging around a older guy for?...a father figure?

Posted: 5/6/2002 5:00:24 AM EDT

[#11]

whats a skin tag?

ill be 41 this summer. had a heart attack when i turned 39. not in bad shape really. just genetics.

whats the problem with lordtrader's penis? is it
contagious? should he wear gloves when posting?

Posted: 5/6/2002 6:09:58 AM EDT

[#12]

Your sleep patterns definitely change whether you call it insomnia or waking up at 5 a.m. when you don't have to get up until 7 or 8.

I had to go to the local Walgreens to buy some reading glasses the other night because I could not focus on some of the print in Shotgun News.

Posted: 5/6/2002 9:28:05 AM EDT

[#13]

You mean you can still hear?

Posted: 5/6/2002 9:34:00 AM EDT

[#14]

Some dude will want to stick his finger up your butt to check for cancer

Posted: 5/6/2002 9:34:58 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
4. Bad back
Got that right.

5. Kids call you "Sir"

6. Balding head
No balding, just greying.
7. You can only get it up once a night
Viagra-works great.
8. Insomia

9. Your body starts to make very odd and load noises when you first wake up.

10. You know that you really will die one day.

Yea, you missed a few[:(]

Sgtar15

View Quote

Posted: 5/6/2002 10:21:26 AM EDT

[#16]

I'm 53. It's been downhill since about 40. The biggest pain in the ass has to be the eyes going. I need reading glasses for anything close in, although far vision is still acceptable.

Then there's the damn pot-belly. Guess I don't like to exercise as much as I used to.

Post pee dribble is also a royal nusiance. God, I hope I never get to the Depends stage. Just take me out back and shoot me.

I'm also getting lizard skin. Have to go to the dermatologist every year and get little skin cancers burned off. He squirts liquid nirtogen all over the body. Burns like hell, and then blisters. For a few weeks after I look like a leper.

There was something else, too, but I forget. Memory ain't waht it used to be, either.

Damn, growing old is hell. [;)]

Posted: 5/6/2002 10:37:37 AM EDT

[#17]

Age is the one thing no one thinks will ever catch up with them, but when it does everyone wonders how it happened to them.

.........but then again the same can be said for STD's [sex]

But seriously....enjoy your youth while you can......[beer]

Posted: 5/6/2002 10:54:26 AM EDT

[#18]

WHAT IS A 'SKIN TAG'?

Posted: 5/6/2002 10:55:18 AM EDT

[#19]

Pot-belly is hell....

But you'll notice when somebody mentions going camping for the weekend, instead of envying them you'll think "bugs, heat, long walk to shitter or shower....NO TV?!?!".

Oh and back hair....

But the worst is how when you realize that the ONLY way you're gonna score with the young honey's is a sympathy-f__K or for your money (one way or another)

Posted: 5/6/2002 10:57:32 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
5. Kids call you "Sir"

View Quote

Shite it's not the fact that "kids" call me Sir so much, but it's the twentysomething cuties calling me "Sir" that gets me down.

Posted: 5/6/2002 11:05:31 AM EDT

[#21]

What, you guys forgetting the little fart when you cough or sneeze too hard?[shock]
I hate it when that happens!

Post-defacatory anal-drainage is something I definetly don't look forward to. When I was a kid, we just called it "salmon-ass"...[rolleyes]

Best thing about losing your hearing is you don't hear those little farts. You just wonder what everyone else smiling about when you sneeze.[;D]

Posted: 5/6/2002 12:06:01 PM EDT

[#22]

For skin tags,see [url]www.focusonskin.com[/url]

That took all of thirty seconds to find. You guys asking must REALLY be old.

Posted: 5/6/2002 2:33:51 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:

whats a skin tag?

ill be 41 this summer. had a heart attack when i turned 39. not in bad shape really. just genetics.

whats the problem with lordtrader's penis? is it
contagious? should he wear gloves when posting?

View Quote

Little growths of skin that look like warts, but are much smaller.

I don't know wht Lordtrader's deal is. All I know is he has an interest in penis enhancement devices. [}:D]

Posted: 5/6/2002 2:38:56 PM EDT

[#24]

The realization that you are older than the father of that really hot girl in the office.
[:(]

Posted: 5/6/2002 2:44:46 PM EDT

[#25]

Well here's a bright spot!

When a girl/woman hits 16/17 it's all over...she has peaked!

Guys age WAY better...right?

Posted: 5/6/2002 4:06:25 PM EDT

[#26]

Kids call you Sir--
I thought that was because I looked like a bad MF--only later did the little woman tell me it was because I looked like an old gray haired geezer that couldn't get it up in a roomfull of playmates.

Skintags---if you are truly tough and don't like the Corpsman then get out your soldering gun and touch each one for a second or two after it is red hot.If you just want to go to the Doc's and have him do it,he will use a little tiny stun gun type thing.
Either way works.
SF,AA,BAYCB
OH yeah,if you use the soldering gun,put a little antiseptic cream and a band aid on them-you can never be to careful.

Posted: 5/6/2002 4:11:23 PM EDT

[#27]

You start forgetting things....like things you have to do, etc,.

What was I saying just now?

Oh yeah, your sh*t starts to stink REAL BAD!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - What to expect when you reach middle-age

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