User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 8:47:45 PM EDT
[#1]
To scrape the shit from under your fingernails?
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 8:50:05 PM EDT
[#2]
anyone who says to clean shit off their finger is a fucking idiot, and probably thinks 5.56x45 was designed to tumble and wound.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 8:50:19 PM EDT
[#3]
Stick your finger through it, wipe your ass with said finger and then use the paper to wipe your finger.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 8:55:11 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
anyone who says to clean shit off their finger is a fucking idiot, and probably thinks 5.56x45 was designed to tumble and wound. I have crossed your name off the list of people to invite to my next party. 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 8:56:53 PM EDT
[#5]
If you have paper and choose to wipe your ass with your bare finger, you are fucking retarded.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 8:59:18 PM EDT
[#6]
Soak it with the MRE heater water and wipe?
Use the plastic spoon after you're done eating and clean up with the paper? or both? |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:00:37 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: anyone who says to clean shit off their finger is a fucking idiot, and probably thinks 5.56x45 was designed to tumble and wound. You're a bigger party pooper than, than, than......... Waiting until sunset to go take an MRE box shit in the desert, nobody in view for miles, until you drop trou, and have half given birth to an MRE peanut butter brick, so a 5 ton full of support bn chicks drive right by and all you can do is just wave at them. That big of a party pooper. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:04:17 PM EDT
[#8]
POOP thread....
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:05:11 PM EDT
[#9]
Its easy, after the Peanut Butter cements your ass shut for 8 days, you have at least 16 packs of MRE shit paper saved up to wipe with.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:06:22 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
POOP thread.... IBTL |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:15:50 PM EDT
[#11]
Throw away the TP in the MRE. When you get back to civilization (some place where you don't need a flight line DL), use the baby wipes you bought at the Mini BX, then go get hot chow at the DFAC with some ice cream for dessert. Retire back to your room to play video games until you need to go to work in the morning to sleep.
Ummm, Air Force, as if it wasn't obvious. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:25:29 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
OP asked for folklore, I don't believe it but I've heard the same BS story,, rip the corner off, unfold the TP, which opens to a square now with a hole in the center; wipe yer a-hole, then use the corner torn off to clean the shit from under your fingernail. You're a bigger party pooper than, than, than......... Waiting until sunset to go take an MRE box shit in the desert, nobody in view for miles, until you drop trou, and have half given birth to an MRE peanut butter brick, so a 5 ton full of support bn chicks drive right by and all you can do is just wave at them. That big of a party pooper. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
anyone who says to clean shit off their finger is a fucking idiot, and probably thinks 5.56x45 was designed to tumble and wound. You're a bigger party pooper than, than, than......... Waiting until sunset to go take an MRE box shit in the desert, nobody in view for miles, until you drop trou, and have half given birth to an MRE peanut butter brick, so a 5 ton full of support bn chicks drive right by and all you can do is just wave at them. That big of a party pooper. You're very close there. The proper procedure is this: Step 1: Remove brown wrapper from toilet paper. Unfold until it's folded in fourths. Step 2: Tear corner off the wad of toilet paper and retain for later use. Step 3: Unfold toilet paper completely, which now has a hole in the center. Slide over finger. Step 4: Clean rectal area with finger. Step 5: Grasp toilet paper wad and slide up finger, cleaning as you go. Step 6: Use torn-off corner to clean under fingernail. Step 7: Charlie Mike. 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:28:33 PM EDT
[#13]
I use it to try helping the rabbit clean up.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:31:19 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Its easy, after the Peanut Butter cements your ass shut for 8 days, you have at least 16 packs of MRE shit paper saved up to wipe with. This Starting a poop thread with an MRE is impossible. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:33:18 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I use it to try helping the rabbit clean up. If the bear wasn't such a dick... |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:37:03 PM EDT
[#16]
I always stripped my MRE's before going to the field. I only carried what I needed to eat.
I had some normal TP in a ziplock in the top flap of my ruck (Alice). So I never had MRE TP in the field. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:42:00 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I always stripped my MRE's before going to the field. I only carried what I needed to eat. I had some normal TP in a ziplock in the top flap of my ruck (Alice). So I never had MRE TP in the field. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Very early on, I learned to always have a buttpack. Charmin in a ziploc, 2 cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli, poncho. Served me well in tight times. Then everyone started using one. 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:45:45 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Very early on, I learned to always have a buttpack. Charmin in a ziploc, 2 cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli, poncho. Served me well in tight times. Then everyone started using one.
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I always stripped my MRE's before going to the field. I only carried what I needed to eat. I had some normal TP in a ziplock in the top flap of my ruck (Alice). So I never had MRE TP in the field. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Very early on, I learned to always have a buttpack. Charmin in a ziploc, 2 cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli, poncho. Served me well in tight times. Then everyone started using one.
Didn't that get uncomfortable with all that tucked in there. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:48:00 PM EDT
[#19]
There's a myth about the MRE toilet paper sucking? That shits like the best made thing in the MRE
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:52:14 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This Starting a poop thread with an MRE is impossible. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Its easy, after the Peanut Butter cements your ass shut for 8 days, you have at least 16 packs of MRE shit paper saved up to wipe with. This Starting a poop thread with an MRE is impossible. That. BTW, this thread was even funnier after a strongbow with a couple finger's worth of 21 year old Bushmill's added ;-) |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 9:52:54 PM EDT
[#21]
1. Poop in MRE box.
2. Wipe with baby wipes. 3. Close lid on box, put behind squad bench of Bradley. 4. Leave it for your driver to clean out after mission. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:02:24 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If you have paper and choose to wipe your ass with your bare finger, you are fucking retarded. If you can't get your ass clean cut off the Bottom of your shirt |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:04:19 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This we get a wet nap and TP If you can't get your ass clean cut off the Bottom of your shirt Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
If you have paper and choose to wipe your ass with your bare finger, you are fucking retarded. If you can't get your ass clean cut off the Bottom of your shirt I've used a t-shirt sleeve before. And a sock. The road march sucked after that. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:14:50 PM EDT
[#24]
I scored high enough on those entrance tests I could go Navy so I didn't deal with MREs. We had real toilet paper. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:18:00 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I scored high enough on those entrance tests I could go Navy so I didn't deal with MREs. We had real toilet paper. Clever girl! |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:21:21 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I scored high enough on those entrance tests I could go Navy so I didn't deal with MREs. We had real toilet paper. LoL... I scored high enough to go to those high end Navy technical schools without having to wear a dog bowl as a hat  |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:26:31 PM EDT
[#27]
Just continually shit your pants until they stop making you go to the field.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:36:56 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I scored high enough on those entrance tests I could go Navy so I didn't deal with MREs. We had real toilet paper. And when the community TP runs out, it's waffle stomp time right? I'll stick to my personal stash of MRE paper. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:48:45 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Throw away the TP in the MRE. When you get back to civilization (some place where you don't need a flight line DL), use the baby wipes you bought at the Mini BX, then go get hot chow at the DFAC with some ice cream for dessert. Retire back to your room to play video games until you need to go to work in the morning to sleep. Ummm, Air Force, as if it wasn't obvious. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile Nailed it. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:51:10 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I use it to try helping the rabbit clean up. I see what you did there |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:55:56 PM EDT
[#31]
What? You mean "One square a day is all it takes, poke a hole in the middle, to clean out your fingernail"?
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 11:16:06 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryVery early on, I learned to always have a buttpack. Charmin in a ziploc, 2 cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli, poncho. Served me well in tight times. Then everyone started using one.
Beefaroni. Every single time I went to the field (after boot camp of course) I took a can of beefaroni. Took one one each deployemeny. Too. I have the same can, it's been to the field 3 or 4 times, and 2 deployements. Too sentimental to do anything with it other than keep it. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 11:36:49 PM EDT
[#33]
LOL I wonder how many zoomies and squids did that in the field after hearing some grunt say that?
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 11:41:31 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I scored high enough on those entrance tests I could go Navy so I didn't deal with MREs. We had real toilet paper. Don't worry, my son is a Corpsman with 2/8 Marines |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 11:41:53 PM EDT
[#35]
I love this place.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 11:53:12 PM EDT
[#36]
 +  > 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/16/2016 11:56:54 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote Historywho hasn't got NSN 8540005303770 listed at the top of every requisition submitted to supply? |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 12:26:41 AM EDT
[#38]
I thought it was to stick between your ass cheeks, light fire to it, and then around the area...
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 12:29:55 AM EDT
[#39]
This is like the the first time I was in jail, and some retard told me I had to go scan my sleeping pad. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 12:39:42 AM EDT
[#40]
Navy guy. Use cheap roll of Navy issue single ply. Unless, of course, you are smart enough to have a roll of the good stuff in your coffin locker. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 1:07:19 AM EDT
[#41]
I'm an Air Force guy who scored well enough on the ASVAB who still wanted to be an SP.
. When we went on exercise or deployments sometimes the MRE TP needed to be used. I always had TP but there would always be one guy who didn't think ahead and he often walked around with an itchy ass for awhile.
One kid stands out who needed to take a shit between injects at Osan AB, ROK. He kept asking everyone if they had baby wipes or regular TP. No one would fess up any and I told him, "Hey guy you been chowing on those MREs all week, ya gotta have an accessory packet somewhere, I told you to hang on to a few." He digs through his gear, holds up a TP pack and asks, "How the fuck am I gonna use this?" I told him that lay the sheets across his hand wipe his ass. He skulked off into the woodline to dig a cathole. A little while later this troop is still giving birth to an LT and the wind picks up and I hear, "GODDAMN IT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA USE NOW?" It turns out as soon as he laid the sheets on his hand the wind blew it all away each time he tried to wipe his ass. "Use a shirt sleeve!" I yelled. We were laughing so hard at this kid we were all in tears. Then later the LT asked him why he had only one sleeve on his t-shirt. That kid didn't talk to any of us the rest of the week. It didn't help people were putting rolls of TP in his ruck all the time after that. That one wasn't as bad as my A-gunner who shit himself when it was his turn to ride in the turret who had been fighting bubble gut for a week. I hit a bump too hard and he shit all over himself. Turns out he had IBS so bad he was shitting blood and got med boarded over that. Poor kid. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 1:14:07 AM EDT
[#42]
Even in Afghanistan we never had to use MRE TP...or MREs. We had food for days from care packages and an unlimited supply of baby wipes. Though the cold weather MREs are amazing so we ate a lot of those.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 1:56:47 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I scored high enough on those entrance tests I could go Navy so I didn't deal with MREs. We had real toilet paper. Yeah, and it's measured by grit.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 2:13:55 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah, and it's measured by grit. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I scored high enough on those entrance tests I could go Navy so I didn't deal with MREs. We had real toilet paper. Yeah, and it's measured by grit. 80 grit single ply ass wipe. I brought my own. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 3:24:03 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I've used a t-shirt sleeve before. And a sock. The road march sucked after that. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
If you have paper and choose to wipe your ass with your bare finger, you are fucking retarded. If you can't get your ass clean cut off the Bottom of your shirt I've used a t-shirt sleeve before. And a sock. The road march sucked after that. Coming out of the field with half a tshirt left. Ahh, good times. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 8:57:21 AM EDT
[#46]
There was always enough room in the M113A2's for a coupla rolls of real TP, used the MRE TP for Kleenexes.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:06:06 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I love this place. It is wondrous. |
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:15:01 AM EDT
[#48]
I heard guys in Ranger School were so hungry they would eat said TP.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:20:42 AM EDT
[#49]
Lol. A govt employees wants me to teach him how to wipe his own ass.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:25:25 AM EDT
[#50]
Well, in Ranger school the proper way for me to utilize it was to pour the salt packet on it and try to eat it with a canteen of water......
Because anything in your belly was better than nothing. Try shitting TP,out.
Now, how many of you Infantry guys know what that "key pocket" on your PT shorts was for when you went for that 5 mile run after a night of serious drinking? 
|
|
|
Win a FREE Membership!
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.
